Lots of updates! Because I suck at posting here. Ahem.
I forgot to post here when Loki came back (my last post was him being missing) but he was only gone a week. Very long week, and I have no idea where he was, but he seems unscathed by his adventures.
My new chair, *finally* (after only a year and a half of trying), is usable. They managed to get it to tilt back more than the manufacturer's specs indicated, but I needed the extra tilt for repositioning and for pressure relief. It's still not as comfortable as the old chair but at least it doesn't randomly crap out.
My niecelet is still the cutest. Went down to visit her weekend before last (and gave her a hat which she *loved*), andthen my sister had a work-team trip to Tahoe last week so I got to have dinner with them when they came back through. I need to do a picspam one of these days, because cuuuute. Also she is a total chatterbox, and loves to sing, especially the alphabet song.
This last week was Rehearsal Hell Week -- five hours of rehearsal Tuesday, five Thursday, five Saturday, two Sunday, and then performing Sunday night. I actually skipped the Saturday morning rehearsal so I wouldn't be too fatigued for the concert -- there was no way I could get up in time for a 9:30 start, rehearse until 4 (with a lunch break), and still be able to think straight by Sunday night. I felt a bit guilty, but RHW always wiped me out even when I didn't have underlying fatigue issues.
Speaking of which, I ... er ... still have fatigue issues. I'm starting to suspect/worry it's the new normal; it's quite possible that the fact that I can't move means I'm just physically not generating energy. I've been trying to find alternative explanations, thyroid or vitamin or whatever, but all that is testing more or less normal. Though I'm not convinced my D is high enough; my doctor isn't concerned, but eh what does she know ;)
Crafting stuff: I made a hat for my niecelet, and currently have three active projects: a crochet shawl made with a rainbow gradient (it's so fun watching the color change as I go!), a knitted lace shawl, and a hat I'm using to re-figure out knitting in the round and also to teach myself Portuguese knitting. (PK involves having the yarn tensioned in front, rather than from behind; purling is ridiculously easy, and knitting is a bit more awkward but doable, and for the most part it's mechanically easier given my physical limitations. My tension is shit, but I'm not stressing about that too much.). Did I mention I like playing with yarn? Cause I do. Yay yarn!
Okay that's enough updates for now. If you read all this, have a cookie 🍪
So -- roommate and I realized about a week ago that neither of us had seen Loki for a few days; by itself that doesn't necessarily mean anything, because cat, but his food was untouched and his litter box was untouched. (Yes he sometimes eats Monkey's food, but in addition, not instead, of his own, and rattling his food dish usually brings him running.) And he is not a quiet cat -- if he were trapped somewhere he would be howling his head off -- so it was increasingly clear he wasn't in the apartment. And of course he doesn't have a collar.
Cue the litany of lost-cat tasks: calling vets, calling the shelter, talking to neighbors in case one of them brought him inside, making up fliers, etc. Also cue my brain being an asshole and constantly returning to worst case scenarios.
To add to the stress, my roommate had a scheduled trip for a grad school interview, leaving Tuesday and getting back this weekend. Having her gone is stressful even normally because there isn't backup if my aides flake and because I don't have the stress relief option of venting to her and because my mom is the one driving me home from rehearsals argh. Having my roommate gone *and* Loki missing meant I've been a gigantic ball of anxiety and stress.
Then yesterday I went to go to rehearsal, and Loki goes scooting out from under my van to under another car. Tea deer versonnen: My aide scoops him up and brings hm inside, I sulk about going to rehearsal because I want to be at home with a Loki making sure he's okay, but I do the responsible thing of going.
I don't know where the fuck he was all week or what he was doing; he seemed scared while hiding under the car, but was back to his usual self, including jumping on shoulders (and my mom's back, when she made the mistake of bending over to try to pet him). Possibly slimmer, but he had some pudge. We will probably take him in for a checkup but I'm waiting until next week so roommate can help with that. But he seems okay.
( pic )
Meanwhile, today I was pretty much a complete mess -- you know how you can hold it together (at least sort of) *during* a highly stressful event, but then crash afterward? Yeah. Some amount of paranoia (which I predicted yesterday would happen) that when I haven't seen him in a few hours it's because he's gone again, rather than hiding somewhere sleeping; a lot of crying, both random and not. (And I ducked up scheduling a ride -- Yahtzee had to go to the vet for yearly vaccination stuff today at 3, and I had someone lined up to drive, but told her 3:40 for a pickup time rather than 2:40, and didn't realize until 3:03 -- and even though I was able to have my aide, who was there, drive instead, and call the vet to give a heads up that Y would be a few minutes late but was coming, I then just burst into tears because ~clearly~ (that's sarcasm font) I'm a horrible failure. )
Oh, and my chair has wonked out again -- lateral tilt not working, stuck in turtle mode, though st least not super tilted -- and I *still* don't have the new chair working. (Well, it works in general, but there's a comfort issue and if doesn't tilt back as much as i need.)
So ... yeah. I'm having ~fun~.
In the process, I was calculating how long I've been doing Duo, as a way of explaining why I had so many. And um.
My streak is currently at 166 days; I had a 625 day streak that ended in Sept 2016 (not my fault, the app didn't send info to the main servers) and a 455 day streak before that (forgot two days in a row); and I started in August 2013. Now, streak freeze has saved my bacwn a number of times, but still. It's been 1268 days since I started. I've done 1246 days of duo.
That's a fucking 98% success rate. For a daily task over three and s half years.
I'm kinda boggling.
(And no I have no idea how. I don't stick with things that well. Hell, I don't brush my teeth with that level of consistency...
In other news, it's good to know Duo is trans-friendly ;)
( proof )
Also, if you find yourself having a sore throat etc, numbing lozenges are your best friend. Sadly the effect doesn't last, and you can only do one every two hours, but it's lovely for dulling the razor blades. Ginger candies are good too.
"Das Objekt, aufgefunden in den Keller gewurden der Oper, funktioniert noch"
Why is gewurden smack in the middle of den Keller der Oper? (It feels wrong to me -- why isn't gewurden last?
...or oh oh oh is gewurden part of the noun phrase? I was thinking it was part of the verb phrase (aufgefunden gewurden) but if it's the noun phrase -- is that, like, "the cellar that used to be (but isn't any more) part of the opera house ?
Hilfe bitte! (Is there a German equivalent of halp? Halfe? Lol)
Sometimes the world sucks, but sometimes there's stuff like this.
2) I had a dream the other night where I got to meet Lin-Manuel Miranda. He was very tolerant of me glomp-hugging him. idek.
iii) I "lost" all of Wednesday to writing up my newest knitting pattern, Freedom of Hattitude -- knitting drama seems to inspire me.
( backstory )
D) I also made a hat for a friend. Loom knit, a smidge too small because I couldn't find the right loom, so worked in twisted rib (e-wrap+purl) for stretch.
V) ...and once my brain recovers from last night's painsomnia, I want to play with brioche loom knitting. Fear me. Or don't; whatever
- premise: a sentence or two of what the game is about or what the purpose is
- mechanics: what you do and how you do it
- ads: do they exist, are they forced or optional, how annoying
- in-game purchases: what, how necessary
- accessibility: (see below)
- braining required: how much do you have to think
- speed or timed levels
- internet connectivity required?
- summary of why I like it
What else would be useful to know?
And in terms of accessibility -- I can't really judge visual accessibility, though I will do my best. I can do auditory accessibility (whether sound is required / useful). I can definitely do physical accessibility of my own needs (which include "if I am playing on the iPad, do I have to be able to reach the entire screen or just parts" and "horizontal, vertical, or both" (admittedly both is a rare thing), but what else is good? Precision required? Reaction time, maybe. What else?
The posts will be written with the intent of being shareable, so I want them to be as useful as possible without being cluttered.
Woke up this morning with bad bad headache (icepick over right eye) plus nausea and dry vomiting. Googled symptoms, saw "migraine", realized oh yeah that's what I have.
Ate toast. Took normal meds. Took excedrin -- one -- for the headache. Whined a lot.
Realized around 4pm -- nausea mostly gone, headache down to just a few nails, still crappy overall -- that I have actual *migraine* meds I could have taken. Grumbled a bit.
...Realized around 6 that since I was still having migraine symptoms, I actually could still take the migraine med.
In other news, I got nothing done all day (gee I wonder why) but I am thinking of adding "survive migraine" to the done section of this weeks to-do list. Just to make myself feel better.
Unmasked (4459 words) by isabeau
Fandom: Mulan (1998)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Fa Mulan/Li Shang, Fa Ping/Li Shang
Additional Tags: Yuletide, Canon Rewrite, Shang is a doofus, Canonical Character Death, emotions are hard, #Yulechat Challenge
This is how the world actually works: instead of leading soldiers into battle, Shang is given command over a disorganized bunch of conscripted civilians who don't know the business end of a sword. Instead of fighting to defend China, he is stuck training these misfits into something resembling soldiers. And instead of being devoted to a wife or his job as a soldier, he is becoming attracted to one of his men.
I didn't actually intend to do Yuletide -- I didn't look through the fandoms, I didn't look through the letters, I didn't plan on writing treats -- but as always I'm on the pinch hit list, and when Linsky's came out I went for it, half assuming it would have been snagged (since they were bit the rarest of Yuletide fandoms). I was surprised to get it, but in a good way, and ... rewatching the movie had me realizing how much Shang goes through in a short time (though the timeline confuses the fuck out of me, because they train for like three days and then have a long?!?? march and then everything happens at once and how does time even work) so it was fun to play with that and also with how bad he is at emotions ("you fight good") and ... anyway. Much babble, sorry.
This year's word: now.
Partly it's about being in the moment. Partly it's about not procrastinating so much -- on hard things *or* fun things. It's about "i have five minutes to do some crocheting, lemme crochet" instead of "my aide wiki be here in five minutes, I'd better not start something" (especially because I never get things done that way). It's about not obsessing about used-to-be, and just appreciating the now.
And because I am a sucker and can't not make a resolutions type list, a few things for this year:
* I am taking part in a year-long online decluttering course (DailyOm's A Year To Clear), along with a group of friends that will serve as a social/support group for each other. I don't know how well it will work, but they had the option of only paying $10, which isn't bad, and if it works out well I can go back and donate more.
* I am still doing GYWO. This is my third year and I haven't come close, but I want to get back to writing. The journaling that I do for the decluttering course will count.
* Craft wise I am planning on cold-sheeping (that is, not buying new yarn no matter how tempting ... and it is often very very tempting!). But that's not really a bad thing, because I have plenty of yummy things in my stash. I have several wips that need finishing up, and several definite projects to make.
* I want to get better about communicating and about responding to emails/comments/etc. this one is hard because I tend to obsess about saying the Perfect Thing, and then I obsess about how best to explain and apologize for being late, and there's this vicious cycle where it's late so I have to explain so I put it off so it's later and argh. This goes back to the "now" word: don't wait, send now.
...so, uh, yeah. Fuck you, 2016; may 2017 be way better.
7pm: hey it’s bedtime ... you know you want to sleep ... here, I’ll help ... zzzz
9pm: oh hey we’re in bed, time to DO ALL THE THINGS
11pm: I AM NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN
the following morning: ughhh what was I thinking, must go to sleep sooner tonight
afternoon: so very groggy mehhhh can't wait for bed
7pm: hey it's bedtime ...
Every. Single. Fucking. Day.
The stupidest thing is I can’t tell if I’m groggy in the daytime because I’m oversleeping (and therefore would be better off trying to stay yo later to get less sleep) or undersleeping (and therefore would be better off trying to confiscate my own iPad at night). or if it's entirely just fucking meds.
Well, no, that’s the second stupidest. The actual stupidest is being tired until I get in bed and then being wide awake. Wtf is that anyway. I mean, it’s not just a matter of “bed is more comfortable so I choose to spend the last few hours of my day on bed”; I actually end up half falling asleep on my aide while they’re putting me to bed. And then am awake. Because that makes so much sense.
It used to be that 10 was early for me to go to bed -- and now I wilt by like 7 or 8. Until I'm in bed. But I think I'm still really half wilted, because I think my body needs to be in bed even when my brain isn't ready, but I dont have any stamina any more.
And I think it would be a bit different if I could get in and out of bed by myself, or if I didn't have someone coming at a fixed time to get me up on the morning, but the whole thing is just ,,, frustrating and I don't understand it way.
Five Unexpected Force Ghosts (485 words) by isabeau
Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars RPF
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Carrie Fisher, Han Solo, Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker
Additional Tags: Spoilers, That's Not How The Force Works, leia is my Disney princess, Fuck 2016
The Force works in mysterious ways. And dammit if 2016 hasn't sucked for celebrity deaths.
and why does prednisone make me rage over something that's nbd
(Okay because prednisone yeah)
and why am I so fucking hot and so very not asleep
(hint it probably rhymes more or less with dread-piss-moan)
I do not even have stomps boots to stomp around in. Or a dinosaur onesie to wear while going rawr.
... except I did after all, because I actually snagged a ph, and then I got stories omg! Not one but twooooo and they are both made of awesome ♥
the end is the beginning is the end (1397 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: Arrival (2016)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Louise Banks/Ian Donnelly
Characters: Louise Banks, Ian Donnelly
Additional Tags: Non-Linear Narrative, Vignette, Movie Spoilers, Developing Relationship, Canon Compliant, Yuletide, Yuletide 2016, Yuletide Treat
She’s growing used to falling asleep to the comforting sound of his pen rapping against the notepad as he works through a problem; she’s growing used to seeing him when she wakes.
Flashing Forward (1070 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: Arrival (2016)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Louise Banks, Hannah (Arrival)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Canon, Timey-Wimey, Fix-It
Just because Louise has lived the future doesn't mean the future can't be changed.