[sticky entry] Sticky: Fic master list

Mar. 14th, 2011 01:59 pm
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
Here is a list of fic that I have written since 2005. The list is not guaranteed to be complete, and does not include snippets that were never officially published. Some pre-2005 work is still available; see the end for details.

This list does not include spoiler warnings, content warnings, or any other kind of warnings or tags. (This is not an attempt to be insensitive; rather, I haven't found a warning/tagging method that works for me, or that I have been able to maintain with any reliability.) I give word counts where I know it, and note remixes and crossovers, but that's it.

Fics are sorted by fandom, then date.

My AO3 account (here) overlaps this list; not everything on AO3 is listed here, and not everything here is on AO3. One of these days I will get around to fixing that.

fandoms: Buffy, Firefly, Harry Potter, Heroes, Lord of the Rings, Merlin, Numb3rs, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Trek AOS, Star Wars TPM, Stargate SG-1, Supernatural, Vagrant Story, White Collar, X-Men (First Class), and misc )

This list is up to date as of March 5, 2012
ysobel: Pink bunny (bunny comics), saying a smiley face (smile)
1) had shower tonight. They are a pain in the ass but feel so good omg.

2) am all cozy in bed now, yay

3) have set up a tentative system for letting me access water while in bed (it's a setup similar to camelbak, meant for hiking but seems to work for my situation; I will post more about the setup once I've given it a few days to work out the kinks)

4) a hat I bought -- basically this rainbow ombré beanie but with the colors reversed so the purple is at the brim, because purple -- arrived today and it is awesome and makes me ridiculously happy

(the fact that both my mom and one of my aides had a general reaction of "wtf why did you buy something you could make yourself" -- which is kind of a hilarious inversion of the "why knit socks when you can buy them for a dollar at Walmart", but never mind that -- makes me a wee bit cranky. Yes, I could have made it; once I saw the picture I knew pretty much exactly how it was made. But I would have had to buy yarn because I don't have all the necessary colors, plus my rate of finishing stuff is beyond abysmal, and I wanted happy rainbow hat now dangit.)

5) I have cute pets and a cute niecelet who has figured out how to smile and she is the adorablest baby ever, or at least my adorablest niecelet

6) I do not at the moment hurt as much as I sometimes do

Today has ended up being a pretty good day.
ysobel: (Default)
When you see this feel like it, share 3 random lines from 3 WIPs.

I don't have very many active WIPs, so here, have three from Yuletide/NYR treats that I started and haven't finished.

1. Having a normal life was never an option.

(this is tagged as Maleficent but I think it's actually Sleeping Beauty, Mal-centric)

2. "There," Buttercup says with satisfaction, her smile sharp as a shark's. "We're married, just in time for my beloved to kill you."

(Princess Bride, genderbent AU that also gives Buttercup a shitton more agency)

3. Apropos of nothing aside from perhaps staring at his partner's ass, Jay asks, "Does this job turn you gay? Like, some side effect of the alien doohickeys we always run into?"

(MiB sort-of-consentual noncon porn)

ETA 3b. Kay gives something that for him is a broad smile -- which is to say there's the briefest tug at the corners of his mouth and a wicked glint in his eyes.

(same fic, different part)
ysobel: A dog licking a kitten. text: ew (ew)
So I'm rewatching all the Treks, at this point going back and forth pretty arbitrarily between Voyager and DS9

and I just got to the "Paris "evolves" into a lizard and drags Janeway off for "evolved" lizard sex" episode

I am not on enough drugs for this

Please pass the brain bleach?
ysobel: (learning german)
(Still, always, want to type that as Duolinguo. Gah.)

So I am at the point with Spanish where I have gone through all of the Duo lessons and am mainly doing "practice weak skills" over and over again. Which is not unwarranted -- there is a lot I'm shaky on still, even of what duo gives me, and I am nowhere near ready for real world applications.

But I sort of want to use Duo to brush up on my German. And I can't decide how to do it.

Option one is to do both German and Spanish, one right after the other. Which is easy enough to get in the habit of (the biggest hurdle is remembering to do it; two lessons instead of one is not a problem) but seems like it would be the most confusing to my brain.

Option two is to alternate days. Spanish one day, German the next, etc. Less immediate switching between languages, but still involves some.

Option three is to alternate weekends/weekdays (so do one Monday-Friday and the other Sat-Sun). Has the advantage of making it easy to remember which I'm supposed to be doing on a given day.

Option four is to alternate weeks.

Option five is to just use duo for German and find a more immersive source for keeping Spanish practice.

...I can't decide. Halp?

Poll #16370 Decide for me
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10


Which option should I do?

View Answers

Both every day
0 (0.0%)

Alternate days
1 (11.1%)

Weekday/weekend split
2 (22.2%)

Alternate weeks
0 (0.0%)

German only, find something else for Spanish
6 (66.7%)

Spanish only until you're fluent, you slacker
0 (0.0%)

Ticky?

View Answers

Ticky!
5 (55.6%)

Tea!
2 (22.2%)

Tea and ticky
5 (55.6%)

Ticky needs to go to sleep
5 (55.6%)

...stuff

Jan. 18th, 2015 04:10 pm
ysobel: (Default)
Content warning: body image, weight, weight vs health, internalized body-shaming.

Read more... )
ysobel: Pink bunny (bunny comics), possibly just a little bit drunk (TEAPATTY NOT DRUNK)
Things I have (re)learned over the past few days:

* general anaesthesia sucks. Very useful, but sucky.

* ice packs are my friends. I'm not usually fond of ice especially in the winter, but when it's being useful it is extremely useful

* liquid diets are extremely unsatistying

* having a valid excuse to not do anything does not shut my Inner Critic up entirely but does reduce the amount of internal nagging and judgment

* having a valid non-confrontational excuse to not do traffic checks for my mom (which are generally things that I haven't figured out how to individually object to, it's just a problem in aggregate when it happens every day pretty much, but drugs mean I can legitly say I can't really make sense of the traffic map) is awesome

* netflix is awesome. Even if making decisions on what to watch is hard.

* actually taking painkillers when I hurt is lovely
ysobel: (Default)
...I have none.

I can't even do yarn stuff.

Heck, I can't even figure out what to watch on netflix.

Pain drugs are interesting.

(However, my ice packs are still making me happy. I was not kidding about ice penguins. Granted, no one can see its penguinness when it's on, but I know it's there.)

#

In not-news, I have an overdeveloped sense of guilt. Chorus rehearses T/Th afternoons; I wasn't there Tuesday because surgery, and the previous Thursday because of pre-op stuff. So Plan A for today was "well, I'm not up to singing yet, because my throat's still cranky, but I can go and listen." Plan B, being "stay home and rest", ended up winning. I can't think or concentrate, so I don't know that I would have gotten anything out of it; my wheelchair (and the fact that they have to move the piano for me to get by) does not let me sneak out mid-rehearsal; and I just sort of need to rest up and heal. Plus, it's not like this is even a "disabled" thing, it's a "had surgery less than 48h before" thing.

And I still felt/feel super guilty.

I know there's no need, and I have every justification to be missing, and I can catch up, and stuff, but there is still this big guilt monster inside me going RAAR.

ETA: said guilt monster is also vocalizing about how I am not doing proper tooth cleaning zomg. Because brushing and rinsing and spitting and such would be so great for my mouth right now... I can only laugh and pat it on the head, metaphorically.
ysobel: (Default)
Ice penguin wrapped in dog towel, held in place with ace bandage. I look fantastic.

Read more... )
ysobel: A kitten curled up, one paw half over its face; text: ow (ow)
Welp. It seriously hurts to swallow. I have so far managed pills (ow) and about five sips of juice -- nothing with any real nutrition yet. Also I feel super cold despite layers, and rather like I've been run over by a truck. Yaaaaaay. Surgery is fun!

OTOH I now have penguin ice packs i can strap to my face. Because penguins.

ETA: Breakfast has been consumed. go me. Still haven't decided whether I'm going to rehearsal today (listening only, no singing) or not. But I have three hours to decide, so.
ysobel: (Default)
Warning: bloody post-surgery ... bloodiness. Not super gross as far as those go, but not un-gross either.

Still feels super weird.

pics, mainly for posterity )

To sum up

Jan. 13th, 2015 08:09 pm
ysobel: (Default)
Am home. Mouth feels weird. Gauze in mouth feels weird. Throat doesn't like tubes shoved down it. Bed is good
ysobel: (Default)
Inside of mouth, obviously. Pre-surgery, since that's not for fifteen hours not that I'm counting or anything.

Read more... )
ysobel: A kitten curled up, one paw half over its face; text: ow (ow)
Less than 24h to go, and I realized I never posted here about this oops.

So okay, back in June I got a cavity, and the tooth situation in that area is wacky. I have for quite a while had an "extra tooth" growing just inside the premolars on the lower left side. The dentist would have removed it had I been normal, but I'm not and dental surgery is verybad with FOP and it wasn't really interfering.

Except the problem now is that the extra tooth -- which turns out to actually be an offshoot of one of the premolars, joined below the gumline -- forms a very tight triangle with the two adjacent premolars, and that area is a bitch to clean. So the cavity, forming on a tooth face inside that triangle, was sort of an eventuality.

We got the decay cleaned out (with no anaesthesia, which is fun and exciting) and a temp filling put in, but there was no way to do a permanent filling, especially something that wouldn't cause problems for the gum. So it came down to "the tooth needs to come out."

Which, obviously, is not really doable without anaesthesia. Because I am a special snowflake and can't do local (I technically could but it would 100%-probability trigger a FOP flareup fusing my jaw), that requires general anaesthesia. For which I am also a special snowflake, because of fused neck/spine, and back in 2000-ish when I had a procedure done (D&C, so not invasive but still requiring me being out) the anaesthesiologists wrote a paper on it.

So the whole tooth extraction thing is scheduled for tomorrow.

For a surgical procedure it’s fairly minor, but it’s still a surgical procedure, and my jaw is one of the only mostly-unaffected joints I have left, and there’s additional fun because I can’t do standing transfers but they can’t do the procedure with me in the chair, and it don’t know how long post-op hospital time will be -- I expect it is outpatient and not overnight or anything, but surely there is waking-up-from-anaesthesia time -- or how long recovery will be or what to expect or anything aaaaaaaa.

Plus, there is a chance that my jaw will fuse up regardless of precautions they take. And I know that it wouldn't be the end of the world -- but it would change what I can eat and how I eat it, and would affect my singing. I’d still be able to sing at church, but I don’t know if I’d be able to continue in the main choir that I do, because proper singing requires opening the jaw, and a closed jaw doesn’t give the right sound quality. And I have this feeling like it’s inevitable, like a big tidal wave about to crash down on me, and I have no high ground to go to. The one “positive” that would result -- well, two, sort of -- one, a lot of FOP people with fused jaws have to have teeth taken out to allow a way for food to get in, and I’d already have gotten that out of the way; and two, I promised myself years back that if/when my jaw ever fused that I could get my ears pierced as a “reward”, and thus be able to wear shiny dangly pretties.

But not thinking about that.

Too much, anyway.

My dad will be there (good on a number of respects; doctors listen to older professorial authoritative men better than they listen to silly little disabled girls, and he speaks decent medicalese, and he's very familiar with FOP treatments and procedures and stuff), and someone from my church will be there, and with luck everything will go smoothly and there won't be any complications.

Logic brain is saying everything is going to be fine, and reminding me that my word of the year is trust. Chicken little brain is running in panicked circles flailing about all the stuff that could go wrong. Guess which is louder. (Rhetorical, that.)

(For those of you that want more specific info, for prayers or good vibes or candlelighting or whatever: it is scheduled for 3:45 tomorrow, west coast US timezone (P*T, but I can never remember whether we're in daylight or standard). Procedure should be less than an hour unless the tooth is spectacularly stubborn. Anaesthesia recovery takes whothefuckknows, at which point I go home and take painkillers and use ice packs [which my fingers started to type as ice picks; no, just no] and perform the rather awkward maneuver of drinking fluids through a straw without putting any suction/pressure on my teeth [it's doable, just weird] and hopefully get better.)
ysobel: (Default)
I fell behind on a few shows during Nano/Yuletide/etc, but figured I could catch up on them, right? ...wrong.

SH is fine, but Forever? Hulu plus has 5 episodes: 1, 3, 4, 6 (which I am apparently half through?), and 12. abc.com has the same fucking thing, so I guess it's not Hulu's fault, but *what the fuck*

Why can I not watch 7-11? Whyyyyy?

...I can watch them on Amazon for $2 each, but. No.

*stomps foot*
ysobel: (Default)
Nature is not about perfection

Consider the trees:
They have lumps, and angles, and knobby bits
Places where a branch did not grow right
They are not perfectly symmetrical
See-- there is mathematics to them
But the organic sort of mathematic
Nothing rigid or unrealistic

Nature is not about permanence

Consider the trees:
The ones that year after year produce leaves
Only to have them die and fall away
And yet year after year it continues
And all trees grow and change
And in the end, die

And yet there is beauty to it all
To the scars and blemishes and rough awkward edges
And the sprawl of branches that fork and twist
To the bright newness of spring leaves, the sweet fragrance of blossoms
And the rich colors of autumn, the rustling dance of falling leaves
To branches that show skeleton-bare against the winter sky
And branches that hide from the summer sun in garb of fluttering green

Consider the trees
For they are never ashamed
Of what they are
ysobel: (Default)
So ... this year was kind of crazy, in the best way possible. I had a flood of creativity right around the time Dear Yuletide Writer letters came out, so I ended up a) making a spreadsheet of people I wanted to write for, because I actually had writing mojo and b) writing a lot.

I mean, not a lot by overall fandom standards, but it was 3k worth of fic spread over eight fics, and one of them turned into the longest fic I've written for YT -- over twice as long as the second longest, which was back in 2005 -- and the third longest fic I have on AO3, and another was the third longest fic I've ever written for YT, and given that a vast majority of the YT fics I've done, as well as all challenge fics in the last few years, have skated barely above the 1k minimum? It's pretty damn impressive.

Plus, I am happy with everything I wrote. Every damn thing.

#

My assignment matched me on La Belle et la Bête | Beauty and the Beast, and my recip's DYW letter encouraged retellings with variations. And I played with things for a while, but the idea I kept coming back to, the story I apparently wanted to tell, was basically ace lesbian PoC, and so that's the story I ended up writing.

For always, forever (7625 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: La Belle et la Bête | Beauty and the Beast
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Belle/La Bête | Beast/Beauty (La Belle et la Bête)
Additional Tags: Fairy Tale Retellings, Lesbian Character, Female Character of Color
Summary: A retelling of the story where things are not always as they seem

#

I also snagged a pinch hit fairly immediately, because it was someone on my list of to-(maybe)-write-treats-for. I subsequently did a bit of private flailing because omg what if I get things wrong, but I had a good cheerleader (hi mel!) and a good beta (hi rsf!) and I am very pleased with how it turned out.

The Middle Path (2666 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: A Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Ram Dass
Summary: London is not India, and Ram Dass doesn't think of it as home, but it is where he must go.

#

And then there were the random but full-length treats, that I wrote just for the pleasure of writing.

Gambit (1163 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Chess (Board Game)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Pawn (Chess), Queen (Chess)
Additional Tags: Anthropomorphic, Lesbian Character, (can chess pieces even be lesbian?)
Summary: Pawns can dream of promotion to queen, but sometimes that isn't as fun as it sounds.

Frog And Toad Write Fic (1113 words) by Frog and Toad
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Frog and Toad - Arnold Lobel
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Toad (Frog and Toad), Frog (Frog and Toad)
Additional Tags: Characters Writing Fanfiction, Yuletide Is Awesome
Summary: Frog and Toad do almost everything together, so why not Yuletide too?

#

So that's it for the full-length treats ... but there are also Madness treats.

I am Groot (Groot's Story) (78 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Groot (Marvel)
Additional Tags: I Am Groot, Yuletide Treat
Summary: Groot's perspective on Guardians of the Galaxy.

That one ... ended up being wildly popular. I'm torn between squee and wanting to hide in pleased embarrassment. \o/ (And it now has a non-hovertext version; I didn't think of access issues until after the collection closed, and then I couldn't figure out a way to do it un-anonly.)

The Cost of Life (300 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Peter Quill, Meredith Quill
Additional Tags: Triple Drabble, Not A Happy Ending
Summary: Alien technology saves Meredith's life, but at what cost?

Triple drabble by the precisest definition (three 100-word segments). I blame the prompt for the ending.

Endings (100 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Galaxy Quest (1999)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Alexander Dane
Additional Tags: Galaxy Quest TJC, Inevitable Reboot, Drabble
Series: Part 1 of Galaxy Quest Drabbles
Summary: Endings are always hard. Some are harder than others.

Reboots (100 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Galaxy Quest (1999)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Mathesar (Galaxy Quest), Jason Nesmith
Additional Tags: Inevitable Reboot, Alternate Universes For Everyone, Drabble
Series: Part 2 of Galaxy Quest Drabbles
Summary: Canonical AUs can be confusing.
ysobel: A kitten staring at its reflection; text: through the looking glass (through the looking glass)
Last year, and several previous years, I posted that I wasn't going to make any New Year's Resolutions, at least not of the "do" variety; I was instead going to make an Intention, a change to the way I "be". Basically, a word of the year to use as a compass.

I have used "love" as my woty for a few of those years; I am not this year, because reasons. Not that love isn't relevant, nor is it something I've mastered -- especially self-love, which is the hardest aspect of love for me -- but I want something different.

I have narrowed it down to four possibilities:

growth
freedom
trust
permission

Tomorrow will be for pondering and deciding.

ETA at two hours to the new year: 2015's word will be trust.


Trust in myself, if I can (which will be super hard; it's been a long time). Trust in other people. Trust in the universe. Trust that things will work out, if not for the best, then at least okay. Trust that the upcoming tooth procedure (scheduled for mid-January) will go well and not trigger any jaw fusing. Trust in the creative process to get me back into writing without having to force it. Trust that the world will not end if I make a mistake, particularly when it comes to crafting. Trust in my own instincts and boundaries. Just ... Trust.

Trust, also, that 2015 will suck less than the last few years have.
ysobel: (Default)
So you know the tumblr dashboard coincidence sort of post, where your dash suddenly spits up two unassociated yet apropos posts in a row?

I just got this: Read more... )
ysobel: (Default)
Network page linkhopping led me to http://musingsofanaspie.com/2013/01/31/emotional-dysfunction-alexithymia-and-asd/ and, uh.

Because, I recently realized, I don’t discriminate between anger that is aimed at me and anger in general. When someone is angry, I invariably feel like I’m the cause or the target, even when I rationally know that I’m not.

If The Scientist calls me after a bad day, I hear how upset he is and immediately feel distressed. Not distressed as in “I should console my husband because he’s had a bad day.” I feel distressed in a “this is incredibly stressful and I want it to stop” kind of way. My brain immediately goes into “fix it” mode, searching for a way to make the other person feel better so I can also relieve my own distress.


...

...and I am sitting here going "wait, what, you mean everyone's not like that"

and, like, except for the 'impoverished imagination and fantasy life' bit I would totally be labeling myself alexithymic

because *there is a word for that*
ysobel: (Default)
Yuletide is up whee! I've been too busy with family stuff to do more than read the gifts I got (two! two gifts ahahaha *thunder*), but I wanted to share, because sharing is in the spirit of Yuletide.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2774939 - Forever fic, Abe and Henry and two different car accidents, and how Abe found out Henry's secret.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2768960 - Haven threesome h/c fic of adorableness.

I want to gush about both, but today has been draining enough that I am out of words. The best I can do is that I am quite delighted with both and want to cuddle them forever. (And neither one seems to be spoilery for recent episodes.). If you are familiar with either canon, go read.

Dear authors, if you are stalking my journal, I <3 you so very much. Er, for the stories, I mean, not for the stalking per se.

#

And speaking of family stuff, I've gotten to spend the last few days with my sister and baby niecelet, and said niecelet is the cutest baby ever omg.

proof! )

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ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason

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