[sticky entry] Sticky: Fic master list

Mar. 14th, 2011 01:59 pm
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
Here is a list of fic that I have written since 2005. The list is not guaranteed to be complete, and does not include snippets that were never officially published. Some pre-2005 work is still available; see the end for details.

This list does not include spoiler warnings, content warnings, or any other kind of warnings or tags. (This is not an attempt to be insensitive; rather, I haven't found a warning/tagging method that works for me, or that I have been able to maintain with any reliability.) I give word counts where I know it, and note remixes and crossovers, but that's it.

Fics are sorted by fandom, then by date (old to new).

My AO3 account (here) overlaps this list; not everything on AO3 is listed here, and not everything here is on AO3. One of these days I will get around to fixing that. Maybe.

fandoms: Buffy, Firefly, Harry Potter, Heroes, Lord of the Rings, Merlin, Numb3rs, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Trek AOS, Star Wars TPM, Stargate SG-1, Supernatural, Vagrant Story, White Collar, X-Men (First Class), and misc )

This list is up to date as of May 3, 2015
ysobel: Artwork of a curled-up stick figure trying to stave off crushing darkness (depression)
Fwiw I'm doing better since my last post. It's just ... well.

When I started having major FOP symptoms (I was 10 or so and about to enter junior high) it was a bit frustrating and scary -- okay, probably a lot, not a bit -- but I was okay because I still had my brain.

When I started having depression issues (sophomore year of college) and could no longer trust my brain, it was frustrating and scary but I was okay because I could still take care of myself and live independently-ish.

When I got to the point where I needed help with physical tasks like bathroom use and getting in and out of bed, and where I was unemployed and unemployable, it was okay because I could still write.

When I stopped being able to write easily (ideas flow better when I'm writing by hand, which I can't any more, and I also put too much pressure on myself because it was the last "legitimate" way I had of being productive), it was okay because I could still play MMOs. Maybe not legitimate in wider society, but it was social contact as well as entertainment, it was productivity in a virtual sense, it was sort of a way in which I wasn't disabled. (Of course my play style was inhibited by physical restrictions, but I was an adequate player regardless, and not disabled in the game.)

...and then that went away too. And I haven't found an "it's okay because _______" to replace it.

I mean, there are things that make my life okay. I have Yahtzee and Monkey and the most expensive kitten in the world; I have a niece I can watch grow up; I have friends, online (including/especially y'all) and off; I can read, especially ebooke; I have netflix; I have yarn, even if my crafting is slow and awkward, even if I just pet the yarn and do nothing with it. All these things help.

It's just not enough, not yet.
ysobel: A bunny (bunny comics) in the dotted-line red-x-in-corner broken-image style (404 not found)
finger/hand problems not going away

⇒ hurts to use mouse for longer than 30 secs at time (either hand)

⇒ can't play games that require mouse, unless there is no requirement for real-time response (so e.g. these are okay b/c untimed, also offer mouseless play; bejeweled blitz is bad b/c timed)

⇒ MMOs (wow, swtor, gw2)impossible

⇒ i just canceled wow sub (which i'd kept going because i'd go back Any Day Now). other two are on ftp status. none of the clients are up to date.

i want to cry.

i feel like i am disappearing piece by piece

soon there will be nothing left
ysobel: (Default)
So a Supportive Church Friend came over today for a few hours to help me sort through boxes-n-bags-n-shit that have been sitting for a long time in what I call the hall closet. (It's not really a closet, no doors or anything, but too big to be called an alcove; it used to contain a side-by-side washer and dryer, which gives some idea of the width and depth. The originally-furnished w/d got taken out by the apartment management some years back and at the time I opted not to replace, but the hookups are still there. Current plan is to get, or at least rent, a stackable w/d and put open-backed shelving in the other half to store large tubs of whatever needs storing, but I needed to get the area uncluttered before any of that could happen.)

We went from Closet Stuffed Full Of Who Knows What to: a tall garbage bag worth of stuff to throw away; some stuff to be donated, which SCF took over to SPCA's thrift store; two tall boxes of yarn and knitting paraphernalia, some of which had me going "oh is that where that went"; a zippered bag (the sort that comforters or sheet sets come in) of cross-stitch supplies; a box of beading supplies, although I'm pretty sure I have more of that *somewhere*; and an unsorted box of books.

Yay progress!

Next step is to sort through books to open up bookshelf space. Step after that, sort yarny stuff into a) tools and gadgets, b) wips I might ever finish, c) yarn I love, d) yarn I don't love, and e) yarn I can't decide about. c will be kept, d donated (possibly in part to SCF who has very recently started knitting and is adorably enthused about things like fun fur and lb homespun), and e dithered about but probably donated.

I also need to figure out what I'm doing with the beading stuff -- logic says rehome it, emotions say keep it, and there's some good quality stuff in there that I feel I ought to sell or something...
ysobel: (Default)
I mentioned once before that pods of close-to-shore orcas are a recurring dream symbol for me. I'm not entirely sure what it means.

After last night, I realized that another element of the orca dreams is me thinking, wow I've had dreams about this but now it's actually happening for real.
ysobel: (Default)
Loki is home. Thin and wobbly, but active and alert and as ridiculously adorable as always.

This doesn't mean I get to stop worrying about him, of course, but he's home.

Now there's just the vet bill to stare at...
ysobel: (Default)
I feel hollow and numb today; I guess there are only so many days of flaily stressy crying-all-the-time high-emotional-aeousal stress that one can keep up before crashing.

Tried to go see Loki, but the infectious disease people didn't want him going out of the isolation unit (because his upper respiratory infection is airborne transmission and so he could infect other cats) and normal people aren't allowed to go in. They did allow us to see the live cam feed, so I can confirm he is still cute, but somehow a grainy black-and-white image of a sleeping kitten is not the same as getting to snuggle him. We might get him back late tomorrow but no promises.

Thank you, btw, to those who have contributed to or signal-boosted the GoFundMe. I really appreciate it &hearta;
ysobel: (Default)
My roommate has set up a GoFundMe for Loki's vet expenses: http://www.gofundme.com/z4vjqbc4

Please don't feel obligated to contribute, but we would greatly appreciate any support ♥

(Signal boosting as appropriate would also be appreciated.)
ysobel: (Default)
Loki (new kitten) is sick.

details/timeline )

teal dear: kitten is sick and in hospital, I am an utter mess, and everything sucks.

ETA Update: He is better hydrated but hasn’t really perked up, and kidney stuff is elevated, so they want to keep him overnight. They will only call again tonight if something goes wrong, so hopefully I won’t hear until tomorrow. Payment estimate is up to $3k.


(and apparently the 100% mink yarn I got at Stitches West might not actually have any mink whatsoever -- it's unclear whether that applies to all the yarn ever sold under that line or whether some is mink and some isn't -- and I'm not going to return it because I would have to mail it back, and anyway you don't get a *refund*, you get a credit for one of their other yarns. And sometimes I tell myself that the yarn is still worth having, it’s still soft and sleek and pettable, and I don’t have allergy issues to worry about, and it’s a nice gradient of greys that will make a nice cowl-or-whatever, and then I wonder why I'm talking myself out of being angr, except that this is not a good time to have yarn stress)

(wtf, universe)


Jul. 5th, 2015 05:15 pm
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
Authors are live, so I can talk about what I wrote yaaaay. Or at least link to it, because lazy.

Speaking of linking, I don't think I linked to the Madness gift I got:

I am Groot (the Lost Amongst the Idiots remix) (502 words) by misura
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Groot (Marvel), Rocket Raccoon, Peter Quill, Drax the Destroyer
Summary: "So how'd the two of you meet, anyway?" Quill-the-Idiot asked.

Anyway. On to my fics!

No one even tried to guess what I wrote. Alas.

So I ended up writing three (!) fics -- my assignment and two pinch hits. All in different fandoms. And different levels of porniness, which amuses me greatly.

Taking Orders (the mirrorverse remix) (1548 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard McCoy
Additional Tags: mirrorverse, Remix, Remix Redux
Summary: Everyone knows that Bones is Kirk's boy. Everyone's wrong: Bones doesn't belong to Jim. Jim belongs to Bones.

^ porn. Porn is awesome. I was torn between this one and a different remix, but went with porn, because, uh, I could.

Drowning (the knowledge is not wisdom remix) (1272 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: X-Men: First Class (2011)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Additional Tags: Remix, Remix Redux
Summary: Erik has a tendency to drown, and Charles has a tendency to want to save him.

^ cherik all the way, yo. I intended to remix a different fic but got snagged by the metaphor.

A Whole New World (the jealousy remix) (1223 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Edmund Pevensie, Jadis
Additional Tags: girl!edmund, Genderswap
Summary: Edith's just the middle child. Which means being ignored for the most part, or being in trouble, or sometimes both at the same time. So when she's offered a chance to shine, she takes it.

^ Edmund's side of LWW has always fascinated me. Doing a genderswapped version was even more fascinating. (I am a strange creature, I know.)
ysobel: (Default)
Someone wrote me an awesome time travel fic (no such thing as too many of those!)

Future On Fire (2861 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: X-Men: First Class (2011), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Sean Cassidy, Kitty Pryde, Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr
Summary: Stopping Raven from killing Trask wasn't enough. The future still burned. But there is one last chance to avert humanity's doom.

...it made me happy :D

Obviously I can't share what I wrote, yet, but please feel free to guess in comments! I feel my stories tend to be obviously me-ish, so I'm curious if anyone can guess...


Jun. 27th, 2015 08:08 pm
ysobel: (Default)
So my roommate sent me a photo of a kitten that was looking for a home. Now, mind you, I have a cat and a dog, so I don't really need another pet, and i tend to prefer acquiring adult pets rather than babies. But I saw this photo:

...and had an immediate visceral "omg I need that cat" reaction. Which apparently my roommate did too, and there was much whimpering, before we came to the conclusion that while *I* do not need another cat, my *roommate* clearly needs a kitten.

She went today (when the bunch of kittens, of which this was one, was available), and apparently when she cuddled him he kind of stretched out and went all limp and purry, and everyone there was like "yup, you belong to that cat now."

Soooooo, there is now kitten.

Kitten is named Loki. Which bodes so well, heh.

obligatory pictures )
ysobel: (Default)
I am in the "gaaaah this SUCKS" phase of ficwriting.

(At least I'm over 1k words, even allowing for the fact that Scrivener counts html tags as words and so "<i>this</i>" counts as three words rather than one.)

(but seriously, this sucks so much omg)
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
My remix fic is currently 490 words of fic-sketch. Think I can expand on that?

*narrows eyes at fic*

ETA 5:43: Have re-consumed the necessary portions of canon. I have rants but it would give away fandom, heh.

ETA 6:38: File stands at 671 words now, and I'm, hmm, somewhere between a third and a quarter done. (I delete the sketch-paragraphs as I write their replacements, so it's not *quite* as pathetic progress as it seems.)

8:28: 962 words, and time to stop for today.


Jun. 12th, 2015 09:41 pm
ysobel: (Default)
So, I got my ears pierced today.

I'd been sort of wanting it for years, but I was saving it for ... reward isn't the right word; compensation, maybe? ... for if/when my jaw locks up. Because while a locked jaw isn't the end of the world, it will suck majorly, and I wanted something positive to counterbalance it.

But lately I've been itching (in a non literal sense) to get it done sooner, so I can have shiny dangly earring fun. Yes, clip-on earrings exist, but they *hurt*, so I don't wear them often. And there are some pretty earrings out there.

(Ear piercing is, in case anyone was wondering, safe for FOP people. Muscle piercings would be bad, so I'm not going to get my tongue pierced any time soon, but ears are cartilage and that's safe.)

So I dithered, and talked with my therapist, and dithered, and finally decided to go ahead and get it done. I can do something else to compensate for jaw freezing -- maybe a tattoo, or an upper ear piercing, or something -- and in the meantime, I can enjoy earrings.

The hardest decision, really, was what color stud-thingie to get. Purple? Teal? Red? A really pretty cobalt blue? I ended up doing something a little neutraler, but I'm really happy with it. (And the piercing hurt less than some clip-ons I've worn. Lol.)

I can't play with danglies for a while -- they suggest at least a month -- but in the meantime, shiny!

obligatory picture )
ysobel: (learning german)
Today's duolingo lesson included Flughafen. *is easily amused*


Jun. 4th, 2015 02:59 pm
ysobel: Daniel, unconscious and hooked up to VR (fic ate my brain)
I can't decide what story to wriiiiite, halp.

There are three stories that pinged me. One is less probable because it's a fandom I'd need canon refresh on, and that's not an insignificant task. The other two are fresher canon; one is friendship-focused and has strong emotional resonance for me right now, the other is straight-up porn.


Writing is hard, yo.
ysobel: (dork)
So I'm listening to Galileo, and I wish I could vid

because I want to make a Captain America vid out of it

purely for the line about "some other fool across the ocean years ago must have crashed his little airplane"




Duo grr

Jun. 3rd, 2015 10:31 pm
ysobel: (learning german)
Duolingo is driving me fucking crazy tonight.

First off, a thing that is not really entirely their fault: I use the app because typing on the iPad is tons easier for me right now than typing on the computer -- but with the keyboard split (which is how I can use it) it is very easy to accidentally hit the "done" bar across the bottom of the screen.

Second, a thing which is: the iPad app has absolutely no way of submitting corrections or complaints, or flag things as wrong.

And it's being downright fucking stupid tonight.

Example: "Hast du eigene Kinder?" Freeform translate to English. It is the first time I have seen the word eigene, and my instinct -- which turns out to be correct, dammit -- is to translate this as "do you have any kids", but as my instinct is rusty as hell, I tap the word to see what duo says. Provided translations: own, separate, peculiarly. So I hesitantly type in "do you have separate kids", which is wrong, but dammit.

Example: "ich bezahle den technischen Bücher". Again freeform translate. I brainfart and translate bezahle as buy, and that gets marked wrong, which is fair, but the provided and therefore preferred translation is "I am paying the technical books", which is so augh. Not paying for, mind you; apparently the hooks themselves are extortionists or blackmailers or something.

Between that sort of thing (which I can't fucking report without going through the website) and the misclicks, it took me twice as long as usual to get through the lesson. Sigh.

(185 day streak, though. That's something.)


ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason

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