[sticky entry] Sticky: Fic master list

Mar. 14th, 2011 01:59 pm
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
Here is a list of fic that I have written since 2005. The list is not guaranteed to be complete, and does not include snippets that were never officially published. Some pre-2005 work is still available; see the end for details.

This list does not include spoiler warnings, content warnings, or any other kind of warnings or tags. (This is not an attempt to be insensitive; rather, I haven't found a warning/tagging method that works for me, or that I have been able to maintain with any reliability.) I give word counts where I know it, and note remixes and crossovers, but that's it.

Fics are sorted by fandom, then by date (old to new).

My AO3 account (here) overlaps this list; not everything on AO3 is listed here, and not everything here is on AO3. One of these days I will get around to fixing that. Maybe.

fandoms: Buffy, Firefly, Harry Potter, Heroes, Lord of the Rings, Merlin, Numb3rs, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Trek AOS, Star Wars TPM, Stargate SG-1, Supernatural, Vagrant Story, White Collar, X-Men (First Class), and misc )

This list is up to date as of May 3, 2015
ysobel: (Default)
Someone wrote me an awesome time travel fic (no such thing as too many of those!)

Future On Fire (2861 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: X-Men: First Class (2011), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Sean Cassidy, Kitty Pryde, Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr
Summary: Stopping Raven from killing Trask wasn't enough. The future still burned. But there is one last chance to avert humanity's doom.

...it made me happy :D

Obviously I can't share what I wrote, yet, but please feel free to guess in comments! I feel my stories tend to be obviously me-ish, so I'm curious if anyone can guess...

Kitteh!

Jun. 27th, 2015 08:08 pm
ysobel: (Default)
So my roommate sent me a photo of a kitten that was looking for a home. Now, mind you, I have a cat and a dog, so I don't really need another pet, and i tend to prefer acquiring adult pets rather than babies. But I saw this photo:



...and had an immediate visceral "omg I need that cat" reaction. Which apparently my roommate did too, and there was much whimpering, before we came to the conclusion that while *I* do not need another cat, my *roommate* clearly needs a kitten.

She went today (when the bunch of kittens, of which this was one, was available), and apparently when she cuddled him he kind of stretched out and went all limp and purry, and everyone there was like "yup, you belong to that cat now."

Soooooo, there is now kitten.

Kitten is named Loki. Which bodes so well, heh.

obligatory pictures )
ysobel: (Default)
I am in the "gaaaah this SUCKS" phase of ficwriting.

(At least I'm over 1k words, even allowing for the fact that Scrivener counts html tags as words and so "<i>this</i>" counts as three words rather than one.)

(but seriously, this sucks so much omg)
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
My remix fic is currently 490 words of fic-sketch. Think I can expand on that?

*narrows eyes at fic*

ETA 5:43: Have re-consumed the necessary portions of canon. I have rants but it would give away fandom, heh.

ETA 6:38: File stands at 671 words now, and I'm, hmm, somewhere between a third and a quarter done. (I delete the sketch-paragraphs as I write their replacements, so it's not *quite* as pathetic progress as it seems.)

8:28: 962 words, and time to stop for today.

Shinies

Jun. 12th, 2015 09:41 pm
ysobel: (Default)
So, I got my ears pierced today.

I'd been sort of wanting it for years, but I was saving it for ... reward isn't the right word; compensation, maybe? ... for if/when my jaw locks up. Because while a locked jaw isn't the end of the world, it will suck majorly, and I wanted something positive to counterbalance it.

But lately I've been itching (in a non literal sense) to get it done sooner, so I can have shiny dangly earring fun. Yes, clip-on earrings exist, but they *hurt*, so I don't wear them often. And there are some pretty earrings out there.

(Ear piercing is, in case anyone was wondering, safe for FOP people. Muscle piercings would be bad, so I'm not going to get my tongue pierced any time soon, but ears are cartilage and that's safe.)

So I dithered, and talked with my therapist, and dithered, and finally decided to go ahead and get it done. I can do something else to compensate for jaw freezing -- maybe a tattoo, or an upper ear piercing, or something -- and in the meantime, I can enjoy earrings.

The hardest decision, really, was what color stud-thingie to get. Purple? Teal? Red? A really pretty cobalt blue? I ended up doing something a little neutraler, but I'm really happy with it. (And the piercing hurt less than some clip-ons I've worn. Lol.)

I can't play with danglies for a while -- they suggest at least a month -- but in the meantime, shiny!

obligatory picture )
ysobel: (learning german)
Today's duolingo lesson included Flughafen. *is easily amused*

Remix

Jun. 4th, 2015 02:59 pm
ysobel: Daniel, unconscious and hooked up to VR (fic ate my brain)
I can't decide what story to wriiiiite, halp.

There are three stories that pinged me. One is less probable because it's a fandom I'd need canon refresh on, and that's not an insignificant task. The other two are fresher canon; one is friendship-focused and has strong emotional resonance for me right now, the other is straight-up porn.

Yargh.

Writing is hard, yo.
ysobel: (dork)
So I'm listening to Galileo, and I wish I could vid

because I want to make a Captain America vid out of it

purely for the line about "some other fool across the ocean years ago must have crashed his little airplane"

because

well

...yeah

Duo grr

Jun. 3rd, 2015 10:31 pm
ysobel: (learning german)
Duolingo is driving me fucking crazy tonight.

First off, a thing that is not really entirely their fault: I use the app because typing on the iPad is tons easier for me right now than typing on the computer -- but with the keyboard split (which is how I can use it) it is very easy to accidentally hit the "done" bar across the bottom of the screen.

Second, a thing which is: the iPad app has absolutely no way of submitting corrections or complaints, or flag things as wrong.

And it's being downright fucking stupid tonight.

Example: "Hast du eigene Kinder?" Freeform translate to English. It is the first time I have seen the word eigene, and my instinct -- which turns out to be correct, dammit -- is to translate this as "do you have any kids", but as my instinct is rusty as hell, I tap the word to see what duo says. Provided translations: own, separate, peculiarly. So I hesitantly type in "do you have separate kids", which is wrong, but dammit.

Example: "ich bezahle den technischen Bücher". Again freeform translate. I brainfart and translate bezahle as buy, and that gets marked wrong, which is fair, but the provided and therefore preferred translation is "I am paying the technical books", which is so augh. Not paying for, mind you; apparently the hooks themselves are extortionists or blackmailers or something.

Between that sort of thing (which I can't fucking report without going through the website) and the misclicks, it took me twice as long as usual to get through the lesson. Sigh.

(185 day streak, though. That's something.)
ysobel: (Default)
Welp. Pain management clinic (excuse me, pain intervention center) appointment was today. It was ...whelming.

On the plus side, a) I got a lot of compliments on the prettiness of my "mark the location of pain" figure (which I had color-coded, headaches vs nerve pain vs definitely-due-to-heterotopic-bone pain vs unspecified-cause joint pain), b) they listened to me and stuff (though they did call me an inspiration), and c) I do have some ideas for where to go.

On the minus side, with one exception the ideas consist of "take more vicodin" (and stop being worried about acetaminophen toxicity because as far as that is concerned I could take 9 pills per day and still be at safe levels of acetaminophen ... not that they told me to jump to 9 though) and "take less ibuprofen if possible" (not stop it altogether necessarily but take less of it), and, uh, yeah. They didn’t want to start me on opioids, even like fentanyl patches which I was on for short term use once before, which I understand the reluctance but dammit I just wanted better drugs D:

The exception is that they gave me an referral to talk to an external pain center doctor about the possibility of using, uh, *checks notes* suboxone? which googling suggests is a combo of buprenorphine and naloxone, used primarily for treating opioid addiction but (they said) can be a sustainable long-term pain treatment option. But apparently you have to have a special license to prescribe it, hence the referral.

...except even if I get an appointment any time soon (my stepmom, driving me back, was all "so it sounds like it may take a few weeks" and I just kind of "..."ed and then muttered "weeks? you’re adorably optimistic") and even if they okay the use of suboxone for someone not in treatment for addiction, it will probably be a pain in the ass to get on a regular basis (tbh part of the reason I'm not taking as much vicodin as prescribed is because of what a pita it is now to get more, and fuck the whole war on drugs already) and tw: suicidal ideation )
ysobel: A man wielding a kitchen knife and making an adorable yelling face (rage)
*throws self onto virtual couch in a fit of melodramatic sobbing*

Okay, so. Roommate is out of town tonight and tomorrow night because of a friends bachelor party. My mom is sleeping over so I have someone here in case of emergency, but that’s always awkward at best, even if necessary. Meanwhile of my evening-able aides A has been out of town, scheduled to come back late tonight, and so M is my only option.

Fail the first was dinner. Roommate had left a veggie casserole -- vegetables of various sorts, pasta, cheese, idk what else -- for us to have, with instructions to pop it in the oven for 30-40 minutes (covered with aluminum foil for the first 20-25 and then opened). We check it at 25 minutes and it’s cold -- oven had been left on preheat, not switched to bake. Put it in for another 20, covered, and then another 10, open. Cheese is only half melted but it’s steaming and whatever, we’re hungry. Except we managed to both undercook and overcook -- vegetables were still crispy but so was the pasta on top.

Fail the second: I message M that I’m ready for her to come over. (It is 8:30, an hour after I usually start the whole process these days because of how long the bedding process takes and how long after that it takes my body to unwind enough to sleep.) She responds ok but then two minutes later is “pooping her guts out” and can’t leave the toilet and is there anyone that can cover. Now, A is my usual backup, but out of town. Roommate is secondary backup, but out of town. My stepmom is third backup, but superbad idea with my mom here. So I ask my mom if she can do it, and she says it’s better than catching whatever M has. (She also makes comments about the drugs she is convinced M is taking, and asks whether m has ever overdosed.)

Fail the third: my mom getting me ready for bed is a clusterfuck. First she insists that I need a washcloth bath (which I usually just do in the morning), and not just face and armpits but everywhere upper body, and while I put up with this there is a part of me inside that is screaming about bodily autonomy. Second she isn’t strong enough to get my shirt off without hurting my wrist a bit, though I don’t tell her. Third, the commode chair takes strength she doesn’t have, and she hurt herself several times using it -- once pinching a finger on the wheel lock lever, once wrenching her back trying to get it upright (I need it tilted back so I can get in, and then tilted back up for the peeing), once banging her hip trying to stop the chair from rolling. Fourth, she is tired and unpracticed and I am tired and explaining badly as to what goes where and it takes us until 10:20 to get me in bed.

(The only positive about all that is that the next time I’m asking my dad/stepmom for help getting to bed and they ask if she can do it instead, I have reasons to say no.)

Fail the fourth: A had said, before his trip, that he was coming back tonight but didn’t know whether he would be able to work tomorrow but would let me know. I text him tonight asking about tomorrow (before I knew M was sick, but she’s been doing every day for over a week and needs a break) and he finally replies saying that he’s actually driving back tomorrow instead sorry for the late notice. Which means M is my only option for tomorrow. I hope like hell she’s better.

I just kind of want to cry. A lot.
ysobel: (Default)
Okay so I am *cracking the fuck up*

so I had this revelation a while ago that I might have either EDS or some similar hypermobility, because of things I remember doing as a kid that seemed perfectly normal but apparently aren't, but how the fuck can you tell because I'm basically immobile so any hypermobility tests wouldn't work

...today my mom comes in and we're talking and she mentions something for me to look up... "aylers denforth? I think it's a-h-l--" and I go "e h l, actually. ehlers-danlos." "?????? how do you know about it?" "I have friends that have eds."

and anyway it turns out that, like

both of my mom's sisters have been diagnosed with eds

and several of my cousins on that side

and her mom might have probably had it and just never got diagnosed

and she might have it

and I just kind of lost it laughing

(and then I had to explain why)

but yes. Probability that I actually do have EDS just ratcheted way up.
ysobel: A bunny (bunny comics) in the dotted-line red-x-in-corner broken-image style (404 not found)
Right now, I am a huge gaping hole of sadness and of missing the things I used to be able to do.

a non exhaustive list )

And it hurts.

And I can't do a fucking thing about it.

Dreams

May. 20th, 2015 10:41 am
ysobel: (Default)
Had a Twilight Zone dream last night. It started out normslish; there was this building, a sort of rec/games center, with an arcade on the upper floor and a ramp down to a roller rink on the lower floor. Only as we were leaving, we discovered an elevator, which went down to a sub-basement with kind of creepy dancing Elvis robots and then a ramp up to the roller rink.

...which is when it changed to a TZ episode. As it turned out, if you accessed the rink through the sub-basement area, you could change reality. And the place as a whole was run by an old rich guy (who looked a lot like ... uh, the evil rich guy in It's a Wonderful Life) with three employees, a sort of golden child (I don't know whether he was literally the guys son or not) who was an obnoxious annoying jock, a black guy named Sam who was actually really smart but never got listened to, and a third guy named Michael, who had been trying without success to convince the boss of Sam's worth (and jock-guy's lack of same, because he was good at being offensive but bad at running a business). So Michael and Sam came up with a plan to body swap Sam with the annoying jock dude, so that Sam could actually make a difference; except when they got upstairs the boss had apparently changed his mind and was favoriting Sam -- aka annoying jock guy in Sam's body, who was aware of what happened and was just smirking at the other two) -- and Sam in the jock's body started arguing that he was really Sam, but the boss and jock!Sam just smirked harder. So Michael and Sam!jock decided to go back downstairs and re-swap back, but they had to wait for two aliens (that sort of looked like giant walking pickles with eyes) to to down first. And the elevator dinged but opened on a black empty shaft, and then whatever was happening downstairs caused the entire place not to have ever existed.

And then there was a Rod Serling voiceover wrap-up about being careful what you wish for.
ysobel: (Default)
In totally shocking news, the Laverne Coz talk had a way different demographic -- younger, queerer (in the QUILTBAG sense, not the weirdo sense), more hair dye in vivid colors -- than symphony concerts.

The few people irl I've mentioned this talk to have been mostly indifferent; a lot of them don't know who she is, or why I wanted to go. People online seem to get it more. I don't know how much of that is that I'm more open about my own queerness, how much is that my friend base online skews a lot queerer (and disableder) than the people I know irl, and how much is just that y'all are awesome.

(I tend to be a lot more shy and ... conservative, not politically but in terms of pushing boundaries, plus I pass better for straight cis female? ... in meatspace. I don't look super queer or anything and am not brave enough to Come Out as Different. Which ... idk)

But anyway. Talk was awesome, LC is awesome -- and also apparently a fan of Brene Brown -- and I totally want to go back in time and give all the hugs to the kid she used to be.
ysobel: A kitten curled up, one paw half over its face; text: ow (ow)
Duck, I'm an idiot.

I generally take both ibuprofen and Vicodin daily -- the first for being an anti-inflammatory more than pain relief. I got sloppy with the refill issue and had a couple of days where I didn't have any because I ran out but the refill hadn't gotten processed. I took extra Vicodin (within the prescribed Vicodin amount, just more than I usually take) to compensate.

I forgot, until my body reminded me tonight, that rebound headaches are a thing.

I also *forgot that ibuprofen comes in ducking non-prescription levels*. Yes, the dosage is lower, but for a few days taking a handful of smaller pills to make up the prescribed amount would get me the same thing. And avoid the headache.

Mrgh. Ducking idiot.

Also my ducking autocorrect needs to learn how to ducking swear.
ysobel: (Default)
Too lazy to write a full post, but.

Spoilers, obvs.

Language! )

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ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason

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