[sticky entry] Sticky: Fic master list

Mar. 14th, 2011 01:59 pm
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
Here is a list of fic that I have written since 2005. The list is not guaranteed to be complete, and does not include snippets that were never officially published. Some pre-2005 work is still available; see the end for details.

This list does not include spoiler warnings, content warnings, or any other kind of warnings or tags. (This is not an attempt to be insensitive; rather, I haven't found a warning/tagging method that works for me, or that I have been able to maintain with any reliability.) I give word counts where I know it, and note remixes and crossovers, but that's it.

Fics are sorted by fandom, then date.

My AO3 account (here) overlaps this list; not everything on AO3 is listed here, and not everything here is on AO3. One of these days I will get around to fixing that.

fandoms: Buffy, Firefly, Harry Potter, Heroes, Lord of the Rings, Merlin, Numb3rs, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Trek AOS, Star Wars TPM, Stargate SG-1, Supernatural, Vagrant Story, White Collar, X-Men (First Class), and misc )

This list is up to date as of March 5, 2012
ysobel: (fail)
So yesterday, I get a call from the people repairing my chair saying that the part they needed (as a replacement for the previous version of the part that they tried to install two weeks before) had finally come in and they were hopeful that I would get the chair back by the end of the day. And then there was a follow-up call a few hours later saying that the part actually worked this time and so yes I could come get the chair.

...Which on its own is hilarious because how am I supposed to do that, but I had a friend who had offered to go get it for me, so she did, with instructions to make sure that all the functions worked before taking it. Which it did.

Got transferred over. The difference in comfort is incredible, especially being able to tilt back. They did warn that the battery would probably need charging, so I couldn’t safely go for a walk, but I could at least be comfortable, right?


After all of maybe five minutes, it died again. Same rapid progression of “works fine” to “won’t tilt but drives fine” to “won’t do anything except turn on and off” that happened a month ago. I charged it overnight just in case but it still isn't working (I am not surprised).

They are sending a technician out at 3:30 this afternoon to look at it (lol) and, if he can't fix it on site, take it back with him. And of course there's no way to even estimate when it will get re-fixed.

I am Not Happy.
ysobel: (Default)
So minecraft is sort of saving my sanity right now because it's the only one of my games I can still play -- using the mouse right now is problematic enough in the best circumstances, but since I'm still trapped in the backup chair (wrong height, wrong angle, no side to side tilt) it's even worse, and all of my games require both mouse and some keyboard.

(There are of course mouse-only games for things like Bejeweled, but that's not really the same sort of thing, and doesn't scratch the right itch; plus which, I'm using the mouse awkwardly with my non dominant hand, so anything that requires speed or accuracy is right out, and generally mouse-only games require both of those.)

(Plus, there is something innately therapeutic about virtually smacking things in the face with a sword.)

Not being able to do gaming is making the house-arrest of not having my real chair (have I talked about that here? How I can't really go anywhere safely so I'm stuck at home) way more frustrating.

But minecraft has an iOS version. That I can play on my iPad. And that works for the way I hold it. (Landscape, with hands along the sides, mostly touchpadding using thumbs.). And while it's not the only game I have installed, it's the only one that feels like gaming.


Mods (which are IMO a pain in the ass, and confusing, to install in the PC version) are pretty much impossible (without jailbreaking and other stuff that is beyond my capacity given that I can't really figure out the PC equivalent, which is easier).

Which wouldn't be a problem except that I get lost.


So, like, I build a house, and make it all pretty, and put important stuff in chests, and then go wandering -- above ground for NPC villages or other kinds of tree/flower or just because wandering is fun, or below ground for iron or diamonds or redstone -- and then can't get back home argh.

I have a workaround for the PC version, which is F3 to get the debug info up, and write down the x/z coordinates of important places like my home base, and then when I want to get from somewhere else to a known place I just compare coordinates and travel as necessary. This is a tad kludgier than ideal, not as good as installing a mod that allows me to set visually-marked waypoints, but it works.

The iOS version, as far as I can tell, has no way to display coordinates. At all. No debug screen, no way to get info, nada.

So in my current world I have a house that is aesthetically pleasing and also decently functional and defensible, and it is close to good sources of trees (spruce in one direction, birch in another) and close to sheep and pigs, and I'm scared to go anywhere because I won't be able to get back. And sure, it's valid to play nomadically -- carry with me the important stuff, food and coal and iron and any diamonds I come across, and just wander with no fixed home -- but that's not what I want to do right now. I want cozy adventures, where it doesn't matter that I'm hoarding gravel for no apparent reason, where I don't lose everything when I die, where I feel safe and not stressed.

I'm a little frustrated.

*gnaws on things*
ysobel: (learning german)
Duo prompted me that I hadn't yet done a lesson for today; as I am tired and cannot brain at all, I eschewed either "lesson of new stuff" or "review of weakest words comprehensive of all I've done", both of which require brain and lead to frustration upon repeated failure, for "review of one of the early lessons", which doesn't so much.

At one point I got the sentence "I write a letter" to translate into Spanish via refrigerator magnet style selection from word pool. And they had "lee" and "leemos" and "lees" but I spent literally several minutes staring at the selection of words wondering why I couldn't find the first person form "leo".

...after which I realized that, oh yeah, leo isn't there because leo means I *read*, not I *write*.

ysobel: (Default)
So... Wow.

I stopped playing Minecraft somewhere around the horse update. I seem to have phases of playing the game, followed by lulls without it, and so it's not uncommon for me to stop playing for a while.

But last night, I had a bunch of Minecrafty dreams; and so I decided to pull it out again and see what's new.

Biomes! Flowers! (Sunflowers!) Fish! Stained glass! Rabbits! Killer rabbits!

I, uh.

Have a lot to catch up on.
ysobel: (Default)
The good: I have officially been doing the Spanish thing for a year now. Bit over, actually. And yes, I do have the streak going (367, whee), though there were three days in there I technically missed. Well, two definite misses, and one day where I remembered at 11:50 but couldn't get the daily thing done in time. But you can "buy" (using virtual site currency that you get for doing lessons) a streak freeze, that will preserve your streak for one day of inactivity. Won't increment it of course, which is why I was on a 362-day streak on my one year anniversary, but ... yeah.

A year of doing something pretty much daily? Not trivial.

And I can sort of understand bits and pieces of actual real live Spanish, though not everything, and I'm lousy at verb tenses, and I am of course tons better at recall than at generating. Still, yay.

The bad: did I mention I'm lousy at verb tenses? The "unit" I just finished was on modal verbs, and it took me multiple tries to get through and I was doing a lot of guessing and a lot of flailing and a lot of looking at the hover hints for far too many words, and pretty much zero retention.

The remaining units, in sequence, are labeled thusly: V. Cond. 0/1, V. P. Imp. 0/5, V. Sub. P. 0/1, Abs. Ob. 3 0/10, Cond. Per. 0/2. Notice how four out of five are verb tenses.

It makes me want to run and hide, even though that would crash the nice pretty streak.

(That, or switch to relearning German, except a) it seems like a bad idea to lose momentum on practicing Spanish, and b) omg the cases. Even with Spanish, which has two genders and no inflections thereof, I trip up sometimes. German not only has three genders, but also nominative / accusative / dative / etc. wah.)

ETA: okay, so conditional is relatively straightforward -- infinitive + ía. But the rest still scares me :/
ysobel: A man wielding a kitchen knife and making an adorable yelling face (rage)

A month or two ago, a visiting dog chewed up my bamboo G hook. No problem; I'll just order another set of Amazon. Tried a different seller just for kicks. They came in a very pretty case, and all was well.

Until I pulled one out today.

It didn't have a hook size; it was just 4.5 mm. Which is halfway between a G and an H, but it's pretty much what I wanted.

Except for how it's a *knitting needle and not a crochet hook*.

Slight difference.

I... am cranky.

(went back to the Amazon page. The item is still listed as crochet hooks, both title and description. The picture is also clearly knitting needles, not hooks, if you actually pay attention to that sort of thing. I have added a review, for all the good that does.)

Today? Not the best day.
ysobel: A man wielding a kitchen knife and making an adorable yelling face (rage)
My main chair -- which, as you may recall, broke on the 7th -- was theoretically supposed to be fixed today, so that I could pick it up tomorrow.

Apparently the circuit board they ordered (which I swear they shipped by a narcoleptic sloth or something, based on how long it took to get here) didn't work. So they have to get a new one. Which will probably take at least another week.

*says a lot of bad words*

Meanwhile I am stuck at home, in a chair that is only barely functional and seriously uncomfortable, that makes my back and legs hurt and my butt go numb and puts me at higher risk for UTIs (I am on my second in the last three weeks) and pressure sores, that I'm afraid to go outside in. *And* I can't use the mouse with my right hand, and the left arm is starting to get a pinched nerve in the shoulder that using the mouse doesn't help with, and I can't play my games, and I am just REALLY FUCKING FRUSTRATED ARGH *footstomp*
ysobel: (bleah)
UTIs suck. Especially ones that come with fevers.

(I blame the earthquake)

ETA: fevers are FUN. Went to bed (at 9 with a >100° fever) utterly freezing, to the point of having one blanket (folded in quarters or so) over my legs and a second (nice soft warm microfleece, folded in at least eighths) over my chest and arms. It was the only way I felt warm enough. Woke up at 1:30 utterly drenched with sweat, especially my torso. No idea what my temp is, bothered roommate enough to get the blankets off since I can't do that myself but didn't want to do too much fussing, but this shit is uncomfortable, yo.
ysobel: Blue bunny (bunny comics) holding a sign reading "I hate you" (hate you)

being stuck in the backup chair

my typing speed (mouse + non-dominant hand + onscreen keyboard = ~10wpm at best with high error rate; it took *19 minutes* to type out this entry)


lack of sufficient pain meds

my left hand going numb if I sit wrong


this stupid story that is 1/4 of the minimum needed, is crappy, and bears no association with canon

the fact that I am going to disappoint the recipient of said story

my insecurities




ETA said fuck-it to actually being anything close to sensible, and had cheesecake for dinner. Because sometimes, that is the answer.


Aug. 20th, 2014 05:40 pm
ysobel: (Default)
12:30 last night, power goes out. My bed is an alternating air pressure mattress that requires electricity, and the powered-off state is completely deflated -- and without air, it’s a really hard uncomfortable mattress. Plus the pillow setup I have propping me in position works okay for the inflated setup but was all wrong for deflated. Between various things, my right hip and right knee (and left knee to a lesser extent) were in complete agony. And I couldn’t even watch Netflix as a distraction, because my net connection requires power.

Power came back on... at 6:30.

I still hurt, and I am utterly exhausted because I probably got four hours total of very crappy sleep.

Yeah, thanks, universe, I needed that on top of everything else :P
ysobel: A bunny (bunny comics) in the dotted-line red-x-in-corner broken-image style (404 not found)
In going stash diving to see if I have orange yarn (I am making a little crochet sun, and orange would make a good accent color), I came across some of my cross-stitching supplies, and I wanted to burst into tears.

I miss cross-stitching so freaking much I can’t even stand it.

I don’t have the mobility to do it any more; I don’t have the dexterity to thread embroidery needles (I can’t even get yarn needles threaded easily), I can’t hold a cross-stitch frame where I could get the needle to the right place, and I don’t have the arm mobility to pull needle through fabric and get the thread all the way pulled through. I could maybe do parts of it if I had someone help with the physical aspects, but then it’s not me doing it any more.

Cross-stitch used to be a sort of form of meditation for me, calming and relaxing, and I came out with pretty stuff. Not the kitschy sort of patterns, but real works of art -- Teresa Wentzler was one of my favorite designers -- and I can’t do it any more and it hurts.

I want my arms back. Hell, I don’t even need both, just one would be fine.

(Now that I’m alone in the apartment I’m letting myself cry, now that it’s not in front of my mom and one of my aides, but that doesn’t fix anything)
ysobel: (Default)
... not coping particularly well right now. need to whine.

Read more... )
ysobel: (fail)
Wheelchair update: Main circuit board is fried, so they have to order a new one from the manufacturer. So probably at least a week.

Meanwhile I can't tilt back without help (can't reach the switch) so I'm afraid to go outside because long legs + fixed ankle/knee/hip + tilted all the way down = foot go smashy on uneven pavement. And I can't really use the van, partly because of the tilt thing and partly because I can't get seated all the way back in the chair so my knees will go smash against the glove compartment. So while I am not bedbound and can get around my apartment okay, I am essentially housebound. And can't even take Yahtzee for walks D:

Plus my wrist is not happy still and using the mouse hurts, so I'm trying to limit full use of computer. I can browse stuff okay using either a) left hand on mouse plus on-screen keyboard for typing, or b) voice control if I'm alone in the apartment, but neither strategy works for gaming, so no SWTOR escapism. Sadface. At least I am getting a decent amount of crochet time?

(And at least I was able to get my dad to fix the left armrest, which was way too high for how I sit now and so was not only uncomfortable but was turning my hand numb um no thanks. Now it's just poking into my hip, which is way more tolerable.)
ysobel: (fail)
My chair is not working.

Problems started last night, roughly 8:45, where it stopped working -- the joystick unit would turn off and on but none of the functions worked, the mode toggle button didn't cycle into tilt mode, the sideways tilt didn't do anything, and cycling off and on didn't help. I called roommate in to do a visual check, but at that point it started working okay.

Repeated five minutes later, again started working after a few minutes.

Repeated about five minutes later and DIDN'T start working. None of the functions work (if I e.g. press the lights button, the little blue indicator light on the joystick saying it's on will light up, but the lights don't come on). The panel of buttons in the back that I never use (that give non-joystick control over tilt functions) don't work. The sideways tilt doesn't work. And it doesn't sound like anything even tries to engage, there's just no response.

None of the times was there any particular trigger.

Luckily the third time I was mostly in position to go to bed, so transfering out was not a problem. I pulled the backup chair out of the closet, it does work (yay for remembering to keep it charged), but AUGH. It isn’t really set up for my current physical situation (it’s about ten years old now, and when I got it I could still move enough to go to the bathroom by myself most of the time and dress by myself and stuff, so a lot of the switches and buttons and whatever are neatly out of the way where I can no longer reach them), and it's way less comfortable.

...I was half tempted to just say fuck-it and stay in bed all day anyway.

(Except for the bit where I can’t really drink anything in bed, and dehydration on top of caffeine headache may not be the best idea ever.)

And the situation is not likely to resolve quickly -- between the whole insurance stupidity of requiring preauthorization for wheelchair repairs, and then once they get that and diagnose the issues they’ll probably have to order parts. So the next few days are going to suck rather a lot.

ysobel: (Default)
...speaking as someone who is not really all that into comics (heresy, I know), GotG a) is really fucking fun, and b) does not seem to require epic comic knowledge in order to enjoy.

I mean, yes, I'm sure that parts of it had tons more relevance for comicsverse fen. But I did not feel like I was missing necessary backstory. It was just *fun*.

Also, I ♥ Groot.

spoilers )
ysobel: (Default)
Apropos of absolutely nothing, I got smacked tonight with a random desire to go camping.

Now first of all, I literally can't. The lift that I use for bed transfers and toilet transfers is not portable; my wheelchair does not go off-road and anyway tends to need electricity; and so on. And second of all, real camping is full of all sorts of annoyances, bugs and spiders and Mosquitos (which my iPad insisted on capitalizing, nfi why), and grit in your food, and campfire smoke in your eyes and lungs, and poison ivy and poison oak, and rocks that you can feel through your sleeping bag, and skunks and bears, and other campers especially ones who are drinking, and ...

Yeah. It's not /real/ camping that I want. It's /idealized/ camping. Where everything is comfortable yet rustic, where you have enough quilt around you at night to stay cozy warm as you stare up at the stars, where the wildlife is either cute and close or cute and distant but never annoying or scary, where there are no signs of other people, where you don't need food except for an occasional granola bar and plenty of s'mores, where you stay up a few hours after dark to enjoy the campfire and said s'mores but then get sleepy and drift off to sleep only to awaken fully rested before dawn when the birds start to sing, where you have enough yarn with you to knit up a sweater...

Okay, maybe the last bit is just me. But anyway.

I don't know what is at the root of this, because it feels like there's a Something that I'm just not getting. A little bit is just the whole societal message of Camping Is Fun (never mind that I was never that fond of camping). More, perhaps, it's an expression of wanting independence, because "spend time isolated in the wilderness" is an extreme example of the independence /that I do not have/ and my yearning to go camping is not about putting my body in the wilderness so much as feeling capable and self sufficient.

A lot of it is that I just feel ... disconnected? Isolated? Ouf of touch? ... with nature. With the sky, with the stars, with the rhythm of sunrise and sunset. I have for a long time wanted for one thing to live in a place with visible stars (I have quite literally considered the backyard pseudocamping of sleeping out on the back porch in my chair tilted back while wrapped in a quilt, except that there is too much light pollution and anyway my tree tends to shed rather a lot) and for another to have a transparent roof (good for lightning storms and meteor showers as well as regular sky stuff, just neither practical nor possible), and I sometimes wonder how much of my sleeping problems are because of the false light of computers and iPads and electric lights disconnecting me from any natural rhythm.

(And the last bit leads me to wonder how much of the wanna-go-camping thing is just wanting to sleep easily and wake rested.)
ysobel: (Default)
There is a Federation vessel named Valdemar.

I. I just. What. *giggle*

...Yes, all right, Valdemar is actually a valid RL name, and brief googling suggests http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valdemar_Poulsen as a probable naming candidate, but still. SPARKLY TELEPATHIC HORSES IN STARFLEET wheeeee
ysobel: A kitten curled up, one paw half over its face; text: ow (ow)
So there's this wacky spot in my teeth where I have what is basically an extra tooth growing; it's an offshoot of one of my premolars, connected to it below the gumline. This extra tooth forms a triangle with its parent premolar and with the tooth next to it, and that area is next to impossible to get clean.

Unsurprisingly, this area developed a cavity.

It's my first cavity ever -- combination of really good teeth luck and being diligent about dentist visits etc. But given the tooth situation it was sort of inevitable.

tooth procedures )

Oof what

Jul. 30th, 2014 11:46 pm
ysobel: Jack and Daniel staring at each other (Stargate)
I just got re-smacked with a very old plot bunny, or at least part of one.

My DS9 rewatch got me to Crossover, the S2 mirrorverse ep. Which reminded me in a vague way of the AOS mirrorverse stuff I was toying with, but then at the very end when they got back to their normal universe (because Trek reset button) I got sort of smacked between the eyes with an old and very involved plot bunny. From, of all things, Stargate.

The story idea is basically "a Daniel Jackson from an alternate universe switches places with the normal Daniel Jackson and wacky hijinks ensue" story. Parallel universes, and travel between same, are canon in Stargate. I had initially thought that the interesting thing would be the alternate Daniel in our universe, especially once I posited that a) he and alternate Jack had been in a relationship, and b) alternate Jack was in fact a Goa'uld, which led to alt-Daniel reacting in odd and unexpected ways to the sight of regular Jack. Except it turns out I had way more fun with the other universe. With working out how things had happened there -- because there was not one but two pivot points causing divergences from the canon timeline, but there was a sort of feel of "the more things change the more they stay the same" about how the alternate timeline unfolded, and i was having far too much fun smoothing out the wrinkles -- and also, to a lesser extent, figuring out what our Daniel would do in the alternate timeline, once the swap happened.

And one of the things I remember from my fic planning is a stretch where Daniel is obsessively searching through the quantum mirror, like tuning a radio station, trying to find home again. Because unlike the Trek mirrorverse there is no undo button; it's not just a matter of finding a way to hop universes, it's a matter of finding the appropriate universe to hop to.

...undone tunas, which is my iPad's autocorrect garbling of unfortunately, I haven't written anything in forever, so the likelihood of this fic reviving any time soon is low. Plus I haven't watched Stargate in longer than forever, and even if I don't need to rewatch the whole thing (I think I decided the fic was set somewhere around Shades of Gray) I'd need to go for the first few seasons if I wanted to write Stargate. Also, haven't written in forever,

But man do I want to...


ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason

September 2014

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