Jul. 24th, 2016

ysobel: (Default)
I have this annoying thing going on where I will be tired during the day, and looking forward to going to bed, and as we're doing the going-to-bed thing I'm generally sleepy and having trouble remembering words and --

-- and I get in bed and a few minutes later, BAM, wide awake with my brain going "let's do stuff let's watch Netflix or play games or something whee".

For hours.

I know I "should" just try to sleep anyway, but the compulsion to do things is like an unignorable itch that just ... I can't fight it. And I don't know how much is psychological and how much is physical, how much is "ooh I'm actually comfortable let's stretch this out as long as we can" and how much is an aversion to sleep and how much is aversion to the period where you're not asleep yet but nrainwasps keep buzzing around and I have to distract myself.

It's fucking frustrating, and makes me feel like I'm failing at adulting.

Tonight's especially bad because earlier today I didn't just have the usual fatigue, I was actually sleepy, with the gritty feeling to my eyes that comes with way too little sleep, and I went to bed four hours ago and I'm not asleep. because that's how much I suck

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ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason

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