ysobel: (Default)
Since authors have been revealed, I can say what I wrote:

Unmasked (4459 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Mulan (1998)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Fa Mulan/Li Shang, Fa Ping/Li Shang
Additional Tags: Yuletide, Canon Rewrite, Shang is a doofus, Canonical Character Death, emotions are hard, #Yulechat Challenge
Summary:

This is how the world actually works: instead of leading soldiers into battle, Shang is given command over a disorganized bunch of conscripted civilians who don't know the business end of a sword. Instead of fighting to defend China, he is stuck training these misfits into something resembling soldiers. And instead of being devoted to a wife or his job as a soldier, he is becoming attracted to one of his men.



I didn't actually intend to do Yuletide -- I didn't look through the fandoms, I didn't look through the letters, I didn't plan on writing treats -- but as always I'm on the pinch hit list, and when Linsky's came out I went for it, half assuming it would have been snagged (since they were bit the rarest of Yuletide fandoms). I was surprised to get it, but in a good way, and ... rewatching the movie had me realizing how much Shang goes through in a short time (though the timeline confuses the fuck out of me, because they train for like three days and then have a long?!?? march and then everything happens at once and how does time even work) so it was fun to play with that and also with how bad he is at emotions ("you fight good") and ... anyway. Much babble, sorry.
ysobel: (Default)
I'm too lazy (and tired) to write up an explanation; previous entries with this tag have more backstory.

This year's word: now.

Partly it's about being in the moment. Partly it's about not procrastinating so much -- on hard things *or* fun things. It's about "i have five minutes to do some crocheting, lemme crochet" instead of "my aide wiki be here in five minutes, I'd better not start something" (especially because I never get things done that way). It's about not obsessing about used-to-be, and just appreciating the now.

And because I am a sucker and can't not make a resolutions type list, a few things for this year:

* I am taking part in a year-long online decluttering course (DailyOm's A Year To Clear), along with a group of friends that will serve as a social/support group for each other. I don't know how well it will work, but they had the option of only paying $10, which isn't bad, and if it works out well I can go back and donate more.

* I am still doing GYWO. This is my third year and I haven't come close, but I want to get back to writing. The journaling that I do for the decluttering course will count.

* Craft wise I am planning on cold-sheeping (that is, not buying new yarn no matter how tempting ... and it is often very very tempting!). But that's not really a bad thing, because I have plenty of yummy things in my stash. I have several wips that need finishing up, and several definite projects to make.

* I want to get better about communicating and about responding to emails/comments/etc. this one is hard because I tend to obsess about saying the Perfect Thing, and then I obsess about how best to explain and apologize for being late, and there's this vicious cycle where it's late so I have to explain so I put it off so it's later and argh. This goes back to the "now" word: don't wait, send now.

...so, uh, yeah. Fuck you, 2016; may 2017 be way better.
ysobel: (Default)
Why is my brain. Seriously.

7pm: hey it’s bedtime ... you know you want to sleep ... here, I’ll help ... zzzz

9pm: oh hey we’re in bed, time to DO ALL THE THINGS

11pm: I AM NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN

the following morning: ughhh what was I thinking, must go to sleep sooner tonight

afternoon: so very groggy mehhhh can't wait for bed

7pm: hey it's bedtime ...

...

Every. Single. Fucking. Day.

The stupidest thing is I can’t tell if I’m groggy in the daytime because I’m oversleeping (and therefore would be better off trying to stay yo later to get less sleep) or undersleeping (and therefore would be better off trying to confiscate my own iPad at night). or if it's entirely just fucking meds.

Well, no, that’s the second stupidest. The actual stupidest is being tired until I get in bed and then being wide awake. Wtf is that anyway. I mean, it’s not just a matter of “bed is more comfortable so I choose to spend the last few hours of my day on bed”; I actually end up half falling asleep on my aide while they’re putting me to bed. And then am awake. Because that makes so much sense.

It used to be that 10 was early for me to go to bed -- and now I wilt by like 7 or 8. Until I'm in bed. But I think I'm still really half wilted, because I think my body needs to be in bed even when my brain isn't ready, but I dont have any stamina any more.

And I think it would be a bit different if I could get in and out of bed by myself, or if I didn't have someone coming at a fixed time to get me up on the morning, but the whole thing is just ,,, frustrating and I don't understand it way.
ysobel: (Default)
*hangs head sheepishly* I, uh, did a thing, and it's stupid and ridiculous and I may regret it in the morning but.

Five Unexpected Force Ghosts (485 words) by isabeau
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars RPF
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Carrie Fisher, Han Solo, Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker
Additional Tags: Spoilers, That's Not How The Force Works, leia is my Disney princess, Fuck 2016
Summary:

The Force works in mysterious ways. And dammit if 2016 hasn't sucked for celebrity deaths.

Well fuck

Dec. 27th, 2016 12:12 pm
ysobel: (Default)
2016 can officially disf. Princess fucking Leia, really? (And yes I know actor != part, but.)
ysobel: A man wielding a kitchen knife and making an adorable yelling face (rage)
Ugh why are people so ... peopley

and why does prednisone make me rage over something that's nbd

(Okay because prednisone yeah)

and why am I so fucking hot and so very not asleep

(hint it probably rhymes more or less with dread-piss-moan)

grarrrh

I do not even have stomps boots to stomp around in. Or a dinosaur onesie to wear while going rawr.
ysobel: (fail)
News at 11: isa is a fucked-up-in-the-head insecure clueless little penguin with many issues that are deeply entrenched.

Bonus news: prednisone doesn't actually make these things better.
ysobel: (Default)
So I didn't do yuletide this year...

... except I did after all, because I actually snagged a ph, and then I got stories omg! Not one but twooooo and they are both made of awesome ♥

the end is the beginning is the end (1397 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Arrival (2016)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Louise Banks/Ian Donnelly
Characters: Louise Banks, Ian Donnelly
Additional Tags: Non-Linear Narrative, Vignette, Movie Spoilers, Developing Relationship, Canon Compliant, Yuletide, Yuletide 2016, Yuletide Treat
Summary:

She’s growing used to falling asleep to the comforting sound of his pen rapping against the notepad as he works through a problem; she’s growing used to seeing him when she wakes.




Flashing Forward (1070 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Arrival (2016)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Louise Banks, Hannah (Arrival)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Canon, Timey-Wimey, Fix-It
Summary:

Just because Louise has lived the future doesn't mean the future can't be changed.

well fuck

Dec. 23rd, 2016 05:07 pm
ysobel: (Default)
sunday overnight - bed (alternating air mattress) goes off for 10 minutes for no apparent reason

monday - neck is cranky, possibly wrenched muscle

monday night - pain spikes to 8. take painkillers and go to bed early with heat pack (microwaved not electric)

tuesday - pain only 6, ditch church meeting to repeat prev night's actions

wednesday, thursday - neck achy. while using dressing stick to put pressure on right side of neck, discover a sore spot, slightly behind ear, that hurts when pressed but in a way that feels good; probably site of muscle attachment and pressing stretches it slightly

today - dressing stick on sore spot finds a lump I'm pretty sure wasn't there before

...fucksticks.

the initial pain didn't feel like FOP, but FOP reacts to muscular trauma, even just injections, and this, whatever I wrenched, may qualify as trauma. the good news is it's a small lump with no visible swelling or redness or heat. the bad news is it's really fucking close to my jaw. (there is a minor possibility the lump is inflamed lymph node rather than fop, but fop flare-ups have to be treated immediately, and I'm not taking any chances.)

so! I get a fun xmas/hannukah present of prednisone! yay! and also antibiotics for probable uti! yay!
ysobel: (Default)
I like snuggling.

Just satin'.

Ughhh

Dec. 5th, 2016 11:08 pm
ysobel: (Default)
*very long string of bad words*

I seem to have a UTI. Again. Or maybe still.

On the bright side, I know why I've been feeling like crap the last few days.

On the other hand, dammit. I hate UTIs.

Book sale

Dec. 3rd, 2016 12:54 pm
ysobel: (Default)
I may have found a few books...

Read more... )
ysobel: (Default)
I have finished a Hat! Even sewed the button on myself mwahaha.

(The yarn is sparkly, which doesn't show up well in the photo. It's also a pita to work with and I'm not planning on ever buying it again, despite the pretty,)

Read more... )
ysobel: (Default)
depression very high right now. smothered in a blanket of lead and ice.

sorry i haven't kept up with reading / commenting -- i love you guys, i just am sucky friend right now.

...sorry.

otoh, I managed to actually write -- not much, just a snippet, because Arrival is burrowing into my brain -- spoilers for The Arrival ) -- which i'm pretty sure is the most writing i've done all year. woo?
ysobel: A man wielding a kitchen knife and making an adorable yelling face (rage)
Fuuuuuuck

had my IHSS eval today

...it sounds like she's going to do her best to make sure I don't lose hours but it doesn't sound like I'm getting an increase

which is stupid because I'm sitting here going "I can't pee enough times because not enough hours" and she's doing things like "well your hours for showering might go down because you're only showering once a week" BECAUSE IT TAKES SO MUCH FUCKING TIME AND ENERGY YOU FUCKHEAD

I hate IHSS sometimes

and hate being dependent

Ow.

Nov. 22nd, 2016 06:28 pm
ysobel: (idiot with a garbage bag)
My apartment may not have drop bears -- wrong country and all -- but it sure as fuck has drop kittens.

Loki (who, despite the eternal 'kitten' moniker, is over a year old and probably at least 11 lbs) launched himself *downward* from the top tier of the 7' cat tree, smacking my face (far side!) and upper chest as he bounced off me and onto the ground.

He didn't draw blood, but I had to check...

(Note to self: check cat tree occupancy status before approach)

...weird

Nov. 21st, 2016 05:34 pm
ysobel: (Default)
Things I like: my monthly reiki sessions. (Not a comprehensive list.)

Things I don't like: mosquitos (ditto)

Things that are weird: mosquito bites *during* reiki, such that I can feel it sucking my blood o.O

Movie rec

Nov. 17th, 2016 04:18 pm
ysobel: (Default)
I know I've mostly gone radio silent on social media since, oh, last Tuesday; but I wanted to say holy jumping crabcakes you guys, "The Arrival" (sci-fi first contact movie out in US theaters right now) is fucking *amazing*. (With a bonus of "lingistics that didn't piss me off"; there was a tiny smidgen of the multlingual-linguist thing, but otherwise good.)
ysobel: A bunny (bunny comics), on fire (on fire)
I am having stupid fucking nostalgia about who I used to be and what I used to be able to do

...someone today introduced me to Vitamin String Quartet, who are fucking awesome, but one of their covers was something from Phantom of the Opera, and even though I've listened to it bunches of times, usually in German, something about their arrangement tugged me back to hearing it in person; POTO was something that my college bff and I bonded over, as well as the second thing I really got involved in the fandom for (and that was kickoff to getting involved with Buffy fandom and it was all "downhill" from there), but also there was a non-touring production in SF that we went to at least 15 times in our four years because SF was close enough for an evening trip and because the theater wasn't entirely wheelchair accessible (no elevator) so they had to give us wheelchair seats (back of the orchestra) for the cheapest price because we couldn't get to the nosebleed seats, and if you give two POTO-obsessed teen/twentysomethings the opportunity to see POTO regularly and cheaply they're damn well going to take it

so emotional dump back into when I could move decently much and still still do things and when I ... I mean I had depression for 3/4 of the time and it was new and baffling and difficult, but not the trudging through life feeling of unending depression; back when I could still write and still do cross stitch and still thought I had the opportunuty for a job and a life and stuff

and I wasn't prepared for this at all, and now I can't stop crying at how pathetic I am now and his small my life has gotten
ysobel: (Default)
So today was sort of my real birthday celebration -- small party at my sister's house, pizza and cake and ice cream and presents (mostly for niecelet really).

My niece is still the cutest, lol.

I finished the sweater I was making for her; it's somewhat oddly proportioned, being super wide for its height, but eh that just gives her room to grow into it, right?

She has the cutest pajamas ever, btw. Today's were stripey with BB-8 on them. I approve.

There were also several rounds of "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" sung for her, much to her delight.

While she was napping -- oh, it's super cute, she gets a few books read to her before nap, but the last one is always Goodnight oMoon, and she got abruptly yawny and eye-rubby as it was read -- the adults there, me and my mom and my sister and my sister's friend plus friend's boyfriend and friend's mom (the last of whom also had a birthday yesterday), played a fun game that was new to me called Codenames. There is a Wikipedia article that explains gameplay in more detail, but the basic idea is a grid of randomly chosen words, of which some belong to the red team, some to the blue team, some are neutral, and one is instadeath. One person on each team knows which words are which, and gives one-word clues to get their teammates to pick their team's cards. Whichever team gets all words selected *regatdless of which team selected it* wins, unless someone picks the death card.

So for example if you are the clue giver and your words include disease and spider and night, you might say "black", but if your team has buffalo and turkey but the other team has cricket and penguin, you can't effectively use "animal" as a clue. And if you have "maple" but the death card is nut, you don't want to say tree.

It's harder to describe than it is to play, and it helped that 2/3rds of the players were familiar, so for the first round each team had an experienced clue giver and an experienced guesser and a noob guesser.

Anyway. Fun times! And I came home to a mailed birthday present of yarn and a project bag -- but present and card pics will come in another post.

For now: sweater and niecelet, albeit not together.

Read more... )

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masquerading as a man with a reason

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