well fuck

Dec. 23rd, 2016 05:07 pm
ysobel: (Default)
sunday overnight - bed (alternating air mattress) goes off for 10 minutes for no apparent reason

monday - neck is cranky, possibly wrenched muscle

monday night - pain spikes to 8. take painkillers and go to bed early with heat pack (microwaved not electric)

tuesday - pain only 6, ditch church meeting to repeat prev night's actions

wednesday, thursday - neck achy. while using dressing stick to put pressure on right side of neck, discover a sore spot, slightly behind ear, that hurts when pressed but in a way that feels good; probably site of muscle attachment and pressing stretches it slightly

today - dressing stick on sore spot finds a lump I'm pretty sure wasn't there before


the initial pain didn't feel like FOP, but FOP reacts to muscular trauma, even just injections, and this, whatever I wrenched, may qualify as trauma. the good news is it's a small lump with no visible swelling or redness or heat. the bad news is it's really fucking close to my jaw. (there is a minor possibility the lump is inflamed lymph node rather than fop, but fop flare-ups have to be treated immediately, and I'm not taking any chances.)

so! I get a fun xmas/hannukah present of prednisone! yay! and also antibiotics for probable uti! yay!
ysobel: (Default)
I like snuggling.

Just satin'.


Dec. 5th, 2016 11:08 pm
ysobel: (Default)
*very long string of bad words*

I seem to have a UTI. Again. Or maybe still.

On the bright side, I know why I've been feeling like crap the last few days.

On the other hand, dammit. I hate UTIs.

Book sale

Dec. 3rd, 2016 12:54 pm
ysobel: (Default)
I may have found a few books...

Read more... )
ysobel: (Default)
I have finished a Hat! Even sewed the button on myself mwahaha.

(The yarn is sparkly, which doesn't show up well in the photo. It's also a pita to work with and I'm not planning on ever buying it again, despite the pretty,)

Read more... )
ysobel: (Default)
depression very high right now. smothered in a blanket of lead and ice.

sorry i haven't kept up with reading / commenting -- i love you guys, i just am sucky friend right now.


otoh, I managed to actually write -- not much, just a snippet, because Arrival is burrowing into my brain -- spoilers for The Arrival ) -- which i'm pretty sure is the most writing i've done all year. woo?
ysobel: A man wielding a kitchen knife and making an adorable yelling face (rage)

had my IHSS eval today

...it sounds like she's going to do her best to make sure I don't lose hours but it doesn't sound like I'm getting an increase

which is stupid because I'm sitting here going "I can't pee enough times because not enough hours" and she's doing things like "well your hours for showering might go down because you're only showering once a week" BECAUSE IT TAKES SO MUCH FUCKING TIME AND ENERGY YOU FUCKHEAD

I hate IHSS sometimes

and hate being dependent


Nov. 22nd, 2016 06:28 pm
ysobel: (idiot with a garbage bag)
My apartment may not have drop bears -- wrong country and all -- but it sure as fuck has drop kittens.

Loki (who, despite the eternal 'kitten' moniker, is over a year old and probably at least 11 lbs) launched himself *downward* from the top tier of the 7' cat tree, smacking my face (far side!) and upper chest as he bounced off me and onto the ground.

He didn't draw blood, but I had to check...

(Note to self: check cat tree occupancy status before approach)


Nov. 21st, 2016 05:34 pm
ysobel: (Default)
Things I like: my monthly reiki sessions. (Not a comprehensive list.)

Things I don't like: mosquitos (ditto)

Things that are weird: mosquito bites *during* reiki, such that I can feel it sucking my blood o.O

Movie rec

Nov. 17th, 2016 04:18 pm
ysobel: (Default)
I know I've mostly gone radio silent on social media since, oh, last Tuesday; but I wanted to say holy jumping crabcakes you guys, "The Arrival" (sci-fi first contact movie out in US theaters right now) is fucking *amazing*. (With a bonus of "lingistics that didn't piss me off"; there was a tiny smidgen of the multlingual-linguist thing, but otherwise good.)
ysobel: A bunny (bunny comics), on fire (on fire)
I am having stupid fucking nostalgia about who I used to be and what I used to be able to do

...someone today introduced me to Vitamin String Quartet, who are fucking awesome, but one of their covers was something from Phantom of the Opera, and even though I've listened to it bunches of times, usually in German, something about their arrangement tugged me back to hearing it in person; POTO was something that my college bff and I bonded over, as well as the second thing I really got involved in the fandom for (and that was kickoff to getting involved with Buffy fandom and it was all "downhill" from there), but also there was a non-touring production in SF that we went to at least 15 times in our four years because SF was close enough for an evening trip and because the theater wasn't entirely wheelchair accessible (no elevator) so they had to give us wheelchair seats (back of the orchestra) for the cheapest price because we couldn't get to the nosebleed seats, and if you give two POTO-obsessed teen/twentysomethings the opportunity to see POTO regularly and cheaply they're damn well going to take it

so emotional dump back into when I could move decently much and still still do things and when I ... I mean I had depression for 3/4 of the time and it was new and baffling and difficult, but not the trudging through life feeling of unending depression; back when I could still write and still do cross stitch and still thought I had the opportunuty for a job and a life and stuff

and I wasn't prepared for this at all, and now I can't stop crying at how pathetic I am now and his small my life has gotten
ysobel: (Default)
So today was sort of my real birthday celebration -- small party at my sister's house, pizza and cake and ice cream and presents (mostly for niecelet really).

My niece is still the cutest, lol.

I finished the sweater I was making for her; it's somewhat oddly proportioned, being super wide for its height, but eh that just gives her room to grow into it, right?

She has the cutest pajamas ever, btw. Today's were stripey with BB-8 on them. I approve.

There were also several rounds of "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" sung for her, much to her delight.

While she was napping -- oh, it's super cute, she gets a few books read to her before nap, but the last one is always Goodnight oMoon, and she got abruptly yawny and eye-rubby as it was read -- the adults there, me and my mom and my sister and my sister's friend plus friend's boyfriend and friend's mom (the last of whom also had a birthday yesterday), played a fun game that was new to me called Codenames. There is a Wikipedia article that explains gameplay in more detail, but the basic idea is a grid of randomly chosen words, of which some belong to the red team, some to the blue team, some are neutral, and one is instadeath. One person on each team knows which words are which, and gives one-word clues to get their teammates to pick their team's cards. Whichever team gets all words selected *regatdless of which team selected it* wins, unless someone picks the death card.

So for example if you are the clue giver and your words include disease and spider and night, you might say "black", but if your team has buffalo and turkey but the other team has cricket and penguin, you can't effectively use "animal" as a clue. And if you have "maple" but the death card is nut, you don't want to say tree.

It's harder to describe than it is to play, and it helped that 2/3rds of the players were familiar, so for the first round each team had an experienced clue giver and an experienced guesser and a noob guesser.

Anyway. Fun times! And I came home to a mailed birthday present of yarn and a project bag -- but present and card pics will come in another post.

For now: sweater and niecelet, albeit not together.

Read more... )
ysobel: (Default)
Actually not that remarkable a day -- goofing off on rav (including eye-rolling at a) a cable design that is extremely vulvar, and b) the designer of a previously-mentioned sheep hat who, when siccing mobs of indignant fangitls on the designer of a matching cowl didn't work, issued a DMCA takedown notice, which, while her legal right, cemented my opinion of her as, among other things, someone whose designs I won't bother making, and wow that got convoluted) and finishing up my niecelet's sweatsr (all done except for buttons!)

Tomorrow I am going down to my sister's for a joint birthday party. Pizza, cake, and an adorable niecelet - woohoo!

Thank you to those who sent me birthday wishes ♥

I am happy. It's a nice feeling.
ysobel: A vibrating bunny, from bunny comics (bwuh?)
Background: I have, for many moons now, been having trouble with fatigue. Some of it was VitD related, but it did continue once my D levels got into okay territory (per my doctor; I don't think they were high enough yet). Most of it was unknown cause -- no thyroid issues, no iron issues, etc.

So, last Monday (week and a half ago) I had a Reiki session. I am a little skeptical about actual health benefits of Reiki, but there's no harm to it that I know of, and it feels good. Relaxing. Like a massage, but without the "possibly damaging muscle by rubbing against bone" worry because it's touch but not deep touch. The practitioner commented that she really wanted to hang out around my left shoulder.

Monday night, I became aware of a lump in my left armpit that definitely hadn't been lumpy the previous night.

Tuesday, I actually have energy again. Very sudden, like a switch has flipped. (Possibly could be VitD levels finally being where they need to be). It's odd, but I figure it will only last a day or two.

Wednesday I go in to the doctor, who finds an infected hair follicle in my armpit, hence the lump. It's already starting to drain, so she gives me gauze pads and a recommendation for skin cleanser (Physoderm) and puts me on abx (Keflex) to whomp it on the inside.

Since then:

* energy levels have stayed up -- some fluctuations but not the Fatigue Of Doom

* depression is less depressy

* traveled down to visit sister/niecelet without crashing the next day

* weirdly, have had an appetite of ... well, practically a teenager o.O

So I have the same thing for breakfast every day (pb on toast), which is usually enough to hold me until dinner (I eat lunch if I remember but don't often remember), and dinner is enough to hold me through the night with rare exceptions. Except for the last week and a half, in which I have gotten ravenously hungry within a few hours of breakfast and also within a few hours of dinner. Yesterday I had two dinners. Today so far I have had two lunches and still feel hollow.

* also weird: When I saw her this week, and told her about the above things, my therapist said that her first impression was that I had lost weight. Even though I'm doing nothing to lose weight, am not exercising because how, and am even eating more.

It's almost like part of the switch-flip was revving up my metabolism.

I don't know why any of this has happened.

The appetite issue *could* theoretically be an abx issue, since I'm still taking it (10-day run), except that abx gi effects are usually along the lines of output (diarrhea or nausea) rather than input, and I can't find increased appetite on the list of possible side effects. Loss of appetite, yes, but that is SO not happening.

(And yes I've told my doctor about the appetite-and-maybe-metabolism thing; she wants labs done but after I'm clear of the abx.)
ysobel: (Default)
...or at least Ravelry famous.

So, okay: there has been this gigantic tempest in a teapot about sheep designs. Item A: a cute hat design with sheep, which became fairly popular. Item B: a different designer made a matching cowl, with an added alpaca but mostly very similar because matching, and released it as a pattern. Cue indignation because designer B didn't get designer A's permission and therefore stole her work. (It would have been apparently okay to have done it as a personal project but how dare she release the instructions!) Not helping was the fact that Designer A was working on her own cowl. Also not helping was the fact that designer B released the pattern and headed off to Rhinebeck, thus allowing for indignant "it's been a while DAY how have you not taken this down yet". As well as "I'm buying the cowl from the REAL designer" when Item C, designer A's matching cowl, got released. (It's worth pointing out that A started out free but changed to paid; item C is a paid pattern; item B was released for free.)

Relatedly, Designer A released a sheepy Christmas ornament pattern and, when someone pointed out a similar pre-existing pattern, designer A made a fuss about taking her pattern down to respect copyright.

Some of us watching this whole thing got kind of eye-rolly about how much fuss was being made. So I commented, in one of my forums, that I was tempted to do my own design with (sheep)(sheep)(tall alpaca)(sheep), in the approximate shape of a hand with the middle finger raised. A Paint-drawn mockup ensued.

Then someone pointed out that I should make the pair of sheep loop like boobs, and the alpaca like a penis, just because lol. So I did a Paint mockup of that. And then charted it out. And then wrote up a PDF. And then added it to rav. Explicitly under a Creative Commons Atteibution license allowing for unlimited use, distribution, modification, imitation, etc.

Now: Ravelry has a "hot right now" ranking of patterns that are being looked at right now. I was curious to see if I could get my design in the top 20 list.

So I watched as it climbed... third page of hot-right-now sorting ... second page ... first page ... top 20 ... past the Item A hat ... past the Item C cowl ... into the top 5 ...

Right now, it is the top fucking pattern in the HRN list.


(Link for posterity, image NSFW: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/menagerie-2 )
ysobel: (me)
Teal deer: GT is awesome, but we knew that.

tonight )
ysobel: Pink bunny (bunny comics) with a ! over its head (!!)

so George Takei is coming as part of the speaker series, and of course I went MUST HAVE TICKET PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE at my dad

but it also turns out that for super special people there is a reception beforehand at which he will be

and my dad gives enough money to count as a super special people

so ACK OMG I WILL GET TO MEET GEORGE TAKEI IN PERSON (of course assuming I don't get super awkward hide-in-bathroom levels of shy) RED ALERT RED ALERT

Whee yarn

Oct. 9th, 2016 11:21 pm
ysobel: (yarn)
So I have, over the course of the year, set myself various crafting goals. I have no hope of getting them all done, but. For the sake of having them all in one place, here they are.

(DT) finish wips. Definitely niecelet sweater, possibly zombie dragon tail and/or June mitts. Possibly also mini Cthulhu if it counts as enough left. Deadline Dec 21.

(RR) kal, sort of, lol. Vague deadline end of year.

(EFQ) hat cal. Set up due end of October, item due end of November. Note: satisfies 5/9/16 of SKC.

(CP) October goals:

Go to Lambtown - DONE
Add Lambtown purchases to stash and link to queued items
Finish the body of niecelet’s sweater. For realsies this month
If #3 gets done: Do the trim on niecelet’s sweater
Work on rainbow shawl EDIT: or zombie dragon, if unable to find rainbow
Practice brioche (an actual swatch, le gasp)
Cast on something new (if Wings, incomplete cast-on allowed)
Look sternly at mitts currently in timeout and ask if they’re ready to behave yet
Actually color something (okay that’s not really crafty but close enough)

(SKC)16 in 2016:

1. Finish baby sweater
2. Organize queue Done 6/23
3. Organize files on my computer hahaha
4. Start something brioche
5. Start something crocheted (not Tunisian or slst) **Done** 2/10
6. Start something Tunisian
7. Start a shawl for myself **Done** (rainbow)
14. Start something slipstitch crochet **Done** (orangenhaut)
8. Finish one of the above five items
9. Make a hat
10. Make a pair of fingerless gloves
11. Make a cowl
12. Finish up my mini cthulhu (needs wings and sewing)
13. Design something that's actually mine **Done** 6/18
15. Make a BB-8
16. Do a MK/CAL **Done** (orangenhaut)

I am allowing myself overlap, i.e. making a completed brioche hat satisfies 4/8/9. Except for item 5, as noted.

(Note to self: skc and rr items need tagging)
ysobel: (Default)
Interesting dream last night -- kind of bits and pieces of a video game, similar in genre and style to Vagrant Story.

contains video game horror, ghosts, racial issues, one paragraph with snakes and bees )


ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason

March 2017

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