ysobel: Blocks in the Minecraft world spellng out MINECRAFT (minecraft)
Why does it bother me so much to get lost in MineCraft?

I'm not talking about odd situations like "fell down hole with no tools, waiting to die of hunger" (last night's situation) or "stuck in an endless desert with no trees whatsoever" (one of my iPad worlds; I started at place-with-trees, because I have tools and torches, but right now I can *not* get out of the desert, and I am running low on said tools and torches, and trees are kind of necessary for those things; you can eke out a basic existence with just wood and cobblestone (since logs can be burned into charcoal), but you can't do diddlysquat without trees). I'm also not really talking about "I built a perfect scale replica of the Enterprise and don't remember where it is" or whatever.

Just ... getting lost. Having to start over.

Basic early-stage gameplay (on survival) is: punch trees for wood, get basic tools, get torches, get basic shelter. Survive first night. Figure out food source, go looking for resources, upgrade tools, kill things, survive more nights, go out for more resources. Upgrade home base to have chests, furnaces, maybe some decorative stuff.

Sometimes, in foraging for resources, I lose track of where home is. And it frustrates the hell out of me.

Like, my non-desert iPad world? I spawned on a savannah, so had several stairstep-trunk trees, so I just adapted one into a treehouse: partially done, with an 11x9 floor of acacia wood blocks and a frame but no walls or ceiling. I decided I wanted the walls to be mostly glass, so I went off in search of sand to smelt down. Found sand; found a NPC village; have no fucking idea where home is.

Now, the rational reaction is one of two things:

1) Shrug and make a new home base, maybe (in this example) centered on the NPC village. It's not like old home base had a whole lot, and all of what's there -- furnace and crafting table, wood, cobblestone, coal, a modicum of iron -- is not just replaceable but *easily* replaceable.

2) Temporarily make a place to store stuff, dig down far enough to get redstone, make a compass, follow compass back to spawn (while leaving trail if I want to do a more permanent pathway)

But somehow my brain flips out and chooses door number 3:

3) Panic, flail, and stop playing that world, with sometimes the added bonus of wanting to quit Minecraft altogether, though I usually end up just creating a new world to play in.

The odd thing is, there is *no actual advantage* to starting a new world instead of continuing with the old one. I mean, either way I've "lost" the time and effort put into making the first (usually basic and crappy) shelter, and the shrug-and-rehome option at least allows me to start with some resources on hand. And yet I can't seem to do it. I'm too disappointed to take it further.
ysobel: A bunny (bunny comics) in the dotted-line red-x-in-corner broken-image style (404 not found)
i have an annoying habit of trying to logic out my emotions

it doesn't really work

how do brains work idgi )
ysobel: (easily distracted)
Last night, I found out where all my spoons were vanishing to. female tmi )

#

I want to take a language class, but there are very few places around that offer what I want. One of the local community college satellite sites offers Spanish, which is of mild interest but the semester's already started, and then Korean and Farsi, neither of which are high on my list. The other transportation-viable community colleges generally don't offer languages at all.

The local university offers a shitton, and even if I rule out the ones that only exist as 8am and 9am classes, I'd still have to make a decision on which to take (German and Russian are out of the picture because of time, and my weird-ass preferences have me deciding between French and Latin and Japanese), except that they don't allow non-students to register for classes. (I asked, and the registrar office basically said "nope, but there's always the continuing education program", which, of course, doesn't offer languages.)

I've tried learning languages on my own, I've /tried/ -- with German (which I still have subconscious groundwork for), with Bulgarian (which I still can't construct a sentence in except for song lyrics of things I used to sing), a long time ago with Japanese (I got hirigana and katakana down to the point of sounding out words with what's probably a horrible accent, but not much farther).

It doesn't work, and maybe it would if I tried harder, but I also keep remembering one year in junior high when I was self-studying German because the class conflicted with another class I needed, and I was horribly behind and couldn't conjugate to save my life.

I don't know. I want to learn, I really do, but I can't do it myself.

#

Writing right now is mainly focused on the [profile] mer_ficathon story (which is turning into a random Little Mermaid fusion with bonus shark!Erik), which has a couple hundred words and then about 1k of story note scribbling and a lot of mental imagery that amuses the hell out of me) and the Fic of Doom.

Now, see, I'm sort of used to having kinkmeme fills be longer than I expect. But this one is 7k words with no end in sight.

To put this in perspective, my longest finished XMFC fic (Mosaic) is a bit over 6k words. Second longest is about 6k but was co-written so I can only claim half of the words. Third is a bit over 2k.

To put this in broader perspective, of the fic I have up on AO3, the longest (which felt like a mountain even though I wasn't having any writer's block issues whatsoever) is 15k, second longest is 10k, third is 7k, and Mosaic is fourth.

The Fic of Doom is already in third place and I have no clue how much more there is to write.

(and yes, that doesn't include fic not up on AO3, but I think that hardly matters. Did a brief spot check of my SPN fic, which is the bulk of what's not on AO3, and it's all under 5k apiece. They Who Knew The Storm is just under 3k. Dark Sacred Nights is 4.6k. Wednesday's Child is under 1k. Purgatory is 2.5k. Most of the rest are 1k at best.)

#

I've noticed, lately, that my ability to type correctly has gotten rather ... bad. Some of that is due to the fact that I'm only touch-typing with one hand (my right hand is using a backscratcher to hit keys with; I /could/ get the keyboard in position to type but it's rather awkward and also leaves no room for the mouse where I can reach it), and it's fairly easy to hit the wrong keys, or hit extra keys, with no tactile feedback for half of what you're doing.

But some of it is just /baffling/. It's not mistyping, it's miswording; it's spelling things wrong, and (far worse) it's not even noticing. And not just in context of chats or comments or whatever, where there's more leniency.

The most recent fic I put up on AO3 went up August 21st. It took me until today to notice that there was a very blatant misspelling in the fucking title.

(And fixing it was kind of an illustration of how it's gotten for me [as is the fact that I just typed "gotton"]. The word as I had misspelled it was "Tommorws". The intended outcome was "Tomorrows". The evolution -- and I don't mean the keystrokes, but the times when I paused and thought I was done and went 'wait no that doesn't look right' -- was Tommorws → Tommows → Tommorows → Tomorows → Tomorrows.

I used to be good at knowing how words were spelt.

I don't know what happened.

#

ETA: Got my XMFC dvd. This is a happy thing. What is not so much of a happy thing is that it's very bare-bones. The movie is there. There are two making-of-type extras, which have some cute moments (including James and Michael mock-sparring) but are probably going to end up on youtube anyway. And there's two non-XMFC things, a vague surreal anti-smoking PSA, and How To Download The Digital Copy, In Excruciatingly Dull Detail Including Multiple Close-Ups Of This Bizarre Thing Called A "USB" "plug".

That's it.

No commentary (from anyone), no deleted scenes, no gag reel, nothing.

Just the movie.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like having the movie. But I wanted more, dammit. And if they come out in six months with a "Collectors Edition" that has things like commentary and deleted scenes and other fun goodies, I think I will scream.
ysobel: (Default)
Um.

So [livejournal.com profile] melissima asked for Anti-Valentine fic.

Somehow, my brain translated this to deathfic.

Don't ask.

three drabbles, all with death warnings I AM TOTALLY NOT JOKING AT ALL wtf brain )

...

...yeah. I tried for porn, really I did...! *sigh* Dangit. I think I need ice cream now.
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
Sensible o'clock: I go to bed.

1:30 am: story idea - one, mind you, that has been simmering for years - goes OH HI WRITE THIS SCENE. Now. Waiting til morning is for SISSIES and also people who want to get to sleep ever because I am not going to shut up isn't this FUN.

... 90 minutes and nearly 1000 words later, I am left blearily going "buh wha?" and also wondering wtf was so thrice-damned urgent about the scene when it wasn't even new stuff, just a crystallization of something I already knew in my had.

I just hope that what I wrote is halfway sense making and doesn't collapse overnight into a puddle of gibberish...
ysobel: (easily distracted)
The contents of today's NaNo file, verbatim:

I have two days in which to write 3800 words. Yay? I mean, if I'd been sensible and harnessed the power of coffee earlier today, I possibly could have churned out that much today. (Maybe. If my body cooperated. Shoulder is cranky, probably from typing too much.) But no, I had to be a good daughter and give my mom some time (er, and get pumpkin pancakes -- I'm not THAT altruistic ;D ) and put off the nanoings until the coffee wore off.

The iPad is sitting next to me taunting me with its shiny newness. Also its Plants vs Zombies ness (it's research? between that and robot umnicorn attack) and the books oh dear the books. So many yummy things to read! I should not read anything during NaNo because it will make me sadface at my own stuff, but it is hard to resist. I have promised myself a night of yummy reading in bed once I hit twenty thousand words. You'd think that would be an incentive to write ... but it's not. Because I am INSANE.

(also because apparently my brain thinks that if it sulks long enough and refuses to cooperate, I will turn to the iPad out of sheer desperation for something to do. Just one more level / just one more chapter ... and then it will be time for bed and I will have accomplished pretty much nothing.)

This is really more of a blog post. Why am I counting it as NaNo words? Mrrr.

#


...yeah. No comment.

ETA: The 3800 in two days thing is to get me hitting 20k by the middle of the month. it is unlikely, but 8800 for 25k is even farther.

And for those who are bored of nano talk, WoW update: have Kalimdor loremaster, got Nagrand finished up, and am 11 quests away from BEM (fucking ogres and their fucking *shards* omgwtf), and then I shall have only Netherstorm to deal with.

And for those who are bored of nano and wow talk? I am officially signed up for Yuletide \o/

And for those who are bored of nano, wow, and yuletide? ...er, I got nothing, sorry. *is pathetic*

New toy!

Nov. 11th, 2010 02:09 pm
ysobel: A penguin sliding down ice.  Whee! (whee!)
...also, my brain is weird, but that is not at all new.

#

So I seem to have acquired an iPad. (Combined birthday plus early Christmas present from my dad and sister.) This is very much yay \o/ there was sonic dolphin squeaking noises going on when I got it.

However, since this was one of the "omg waaaaant but can't afford, gah" sorts of things, I haven't been paying attention to what all is available, especially in the way of apps.

So. Any suggestions? Especially for:

a) increasing the sorts of ebooks I can read (I currently have a stash of ebooks / downloaded fanfic / etc, in forms ranging from .pdf (which it seems okay with) and .epub (ditto) to .html and .rtf and .txt (which it doesn't, but I suppose I could "print" them to pdfs?)

b) writing (since it might make a nice portable ... thing what is for writing)

c) knitting-related whatevers

?

#

Also, er, remind me how to get info off of an iPod? I've been afraid to sync up my iPod because it has all the right musics and playlists and stuff, and while I have the music files more or less restored from backup data, the playlist info did not seem to come with, and I really do not want to have to do all that again.

#

nano wordcount for today: er. 138. I know the day isn't over, but sheesh. My daily wordcount is kind of plummeting (845 for day 8, 611 for day 9, 358 for day 10), and it's become less "novel" and more "random unconnected scenes" because I have NFI where I'm going... or rather, I have one idea left and I'm afraid to write that because then I won't have anything so I'm trying to delay getting there? I don't even know.

And I try bribing myself ("X words and you can do/have Y", where X ranges from 2k to 1k to 500 to 250 and even that last feels impossible, and Y ranges from WoW to ebz to playing with new toys to knitting to reading to having chocolate to whatever) and it NEVER WORKS. I don't know what's wrong with me, because it ought to work, it just ... doesn't.
ysobel: (*facepalm*)
So for a few hours of today, I was alone in the house.

I forgot to have someone fix me lunch, because I am a dorkface, but it didn't occur to me to go scavenge from things I can reach. I didn't even process "hungry" until my roommates got home.

And I was super freezing cold -- it was only, like, low 70s inside the house, and I'm wearing long sleeves, but also I had wristwarmers on and was still miserable. And it didn't occur to me to, say, go over to the thermostat and turn the heat on.

Yeah. I am TOTALLY made of win.

(I also only have 300 words today. Sigh. So tempted to give up. Won't, but tempted.)
ysobel: (wow: hunter)
For reasons beyond my ken, I have decided to go for Boremaster Loremaster -- basically, DO ALL THE QUESTS. And I have decided to do this before Cataclysm hits. Because I don't know if Cata will make Loremastering easier (in that there will be zone splittage) or harder (in that they will turn loremaster of ek/k into feats of strength that are no longer possible).

I am at the moment running around Stormwind picking up quests that give me all of 90 copper as rewards! And quests for Deadmines! And I suspect, if I venture outside, that I will find plenty of yellow exclamation marks in Goldshire and probably Westfall and maybe even Duskwood and almost certainly Redridge Mountains. ;_;

... to those who do not speak WoW, I am taking a max-level character and doing quests that are intended for very very beginning characters.

The ones that are just "kill X" are okay, because I can use lightning shield. (This is a skill that basically does damage to anything that pokes me. The amount of damage that it does scales to me, not to what I'm fighting. If I'm off with creatures that are appropriate to my level, it does a bit of damage but not much. If I'm doing things in early zones... well, let's just say that the last LS-related line in my log is "Haaki's Lightning Shield hits Loch Crocolisk for 328 Nature.(1481 Overkill)". The *shield* is doing five times as much damage as it takes to kill one of these things. So I can run through them to get their attention and let them poke me to their rather quick demise.)

The ones that require looting? ("bring me 10 heads of dead X" or whatever) They're frustrating because I keep forgetting to take down lightning shield. (I can't loot from something if an AI mechanism -- one of my spirit wolves, or a summoned elemental, or lightning shield -- kills it before I have a chance to touch it.

Guess which is more common a sort of quest. ;_;

(The ones that are "deliver Y" or "go talk to Z" range from amusing (go talk to a guy who is ten feet away from me in a very non crowded room!) to okay to horribly frickin' tedious (this is where I miss GW's map travel system). But they tend towards HFT more often than not, especially since there's usually a quest to take something back to the first person. And sometimes this repeats.)

...............I have *no idea* why I'm doing this to myself. *wry grin*

Current status: 516/700 quests in Eastern Kingdoms; 419/700 in Kalimdor. (Also Outlands -- I have all but three there, and one of the three is 62/75, but Blade's Edge Mountains is 1/86 and Netherstorm is 0/120. But I don't think Cata will change Outlands, so I'm concentrating on old-world quests.)

Also? I really wish there weren't a limit on the number of quests you can have at one time. grumble.
ysobel: (attacked by a pencil scribble)
My brain is weird.

(No, this is not news.)

I was going to let myself write crappy stuff for kink_bingo (since crappy is better than nothing, and anyway my judgment of crappiness is seriously suspect when it comes to my own work). And I tried. I wrote a bit of one prompt, a few hundred words, and it dried up. Wrote a bit of another, same thing. And k_b fics have to be at least 500, which right now feels like a marathon.

And then I saw the sleepy/unconscious square on my card, and my mind went to Inception, and I managed about six hundred words of ... something that is ... I don't know. I like the concept, I hate the execution. But anyway.

My brain then decides that, since I can't write fic, I should write -- wait for it -- a fucking-pun-mostly-intended SESTINA.

A slashy, kinky sestina.

I DO NOT DO POETRY. Except, apparently, when I do.

...And then I managed almost 1500 words of prose.

*eyes cross*

So, I've got one more day to do two prompts (oral fixation and whipping/flogging), and I will have officially gotten something in for the round of k_b. (And even if I don't, I achieved my goal of doing better than last year...)
ysobel: Pink bunny (bunny comics), head cut open, completely hollow (no brain today)
When I got up this morning, I could not get my brain to click into gear. I had food, I had tea, and yet everything was just ... totally off.

I then managed to zone out for a few hours. I had been contemplating a nap -- not getting into bed, which takes more energy than it's worth for something as short as that, but maybe going into my room and tilting back and closing my eyes -- but I hadn't quite gotten there. I just kind of. Zoned.

...in a room full of light, sitting up, not even reclined. I /do not do that/ wtf o.O

I do feel marginally better. But today is kind of wtfy.

#

Tomorrow after church, I get to go to a BUDGET MEETING yey. *waves tiny little flag with a complete lack of enthusiasm*

#

I am stuck on the orange-wedge bag for conceptual reasons. The bottom (peel side) of the bag is done, a pretty doodadwhatsit made with short rows. The two sides get picked up from the edges of the doodadwhatsit and are worked separately, both flat of course, and then the zipper gets sewn on in ways that I am having trouble visualizing.

That is not the problem.

This is. )

*flails in frustration*
ysobel: (Default)
My brain is freaking *weird*.

Okay, yes, this is not a surprise. But there is no other way to explain the fact that right now -- sleep deprived from "too ow to sleep", in pain (though it's down to, like, 2, on a 1-10 scale; it was 7 last night, then 4 once I found some of my pain meds), drugged to the gills, tired, &c. -- I am about a million times more cheerful and even *productive* than normal.

I mean. I'm not (for the most part) beating myself up about getting hurt again, even though sigma could easily find ways to blame me (I didn't deliberately do anything, but arguably I was careless). I'm finally getting around to doing some of the shit I should have done a long time ago. My computer is having major issues and sluggishness, and it's not even really frustrating me. And when my eyeglasses decided that it would be epic fun to break (one lens popped out, and the screw that holds the frame together is mysteriously not there), instead of flailing or being miserable, I just dug out the phone book, called my eye doctor person (with sufficient apologies for disturbing her at home, but she lives like two blocks away from me and has done home calls before) and she volunteered to come over and dig up my old glasses and help me put them on and take the new glasses and fix them on Monday and bring them back to me.

...

... yeah, I don't even know. *regards self with wry amusement*

(pain meds: a new treatment for depression! okay, so you won't have a brain or be able to stay awake, but who needs that anyway?

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ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason

March 2017

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