![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 04:30 pm
Read Flat-Pack Versus Six-Pack
I'm looking at sofas in IKEA, and I overhear a couple of customers testing out a couch nearby.
Woman: "Hey, babe, what do you think of this couch? Wouldn't it look great in our living room?"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 04:00 pmRead Anxiety Is Elevated, Knowledge Is Not
Me: "We will shortly be landing in Colorado Springs. Fun fact: Colorado Springs is the highest-elevation city in the USA with a population above 100,000, with an elevation of 6,035 feet, or 1,839 meters!" *I then go into my usual 'prepare for landing' spiel.*
As I'm walking toward the front, a passenger gets my attention.
Passenger: "Was that true? That thing you said about Colorado Springs being so high up?"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 03:30 pmRead Getting Burned At The Fire Show
Mother-In-Law: "You need to come down to the lobby and watch the fire-eating show with me! I'm leaving tomorrow, and it’s very selfish of you not to spend time with me tonight."
My husband tries to be diplomatic.
Husband: "Mom, it’s our wedding night."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 02:30 pmRead Oh, Hail, No!
Me: "Why are you in my car?"
Stranger: "Because you're my Uber?"
Me: "I definitely am not."
Stranger: "Well then, why are you waiting outside the club at closing time?"
Read Oh, Hail, No!
cakewrecks_feed) wrote2025-12-05 02:00 pmToday Judy L. shares with us "The Inspiration"...
...
... and "The Devastation":
Or, as I like to call it, "The Reason I Can't Stop Laughing."
(But only because "The Leaning Tower of Pisa Crap" is just a little too mean. :D)
******
P.S. I've been shopping for the best Christmas lights to hang outside this year, and I think you'll like what I bought:
BrizLabs Color-Changing Christmas Lights
This is a 115 feet of LED lights, which you can change from warm white to multi-color to any combination of the two! They have 11 different settings like "slo-glow" and "breathing," a remote control, and even built-in timers. All for $27! This is the best price for the most features I've found, plus they have great reviews, which is a must for me.
John & I installed 3 strands of these beauties last weekend, and they. are. GORGEOUS. Highly recommend.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 02:00 pmRead Minimum Wage, Minimum Effort, Part 8
Me: "I don't know the answer to that, sir, but I'll set you up with someone from that department."
Customer: "So you're just gonna fob me off to someone else? So typical of your lazy generation."
Me: "Sir, that's uncalled for. As I said, I don't know the answer to your enquiry—"
Customer: "—so you don't know about your products? Laziness, or ineptitude? Which is it?"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 01:45 pmMy husband and I are lucky enough that we have the opportunity to each be able to upgrade our computers to something that can play the current generation of PC games and we have a friend who recommends a decent pre-built set up that should work for both us. My husband, in particular, has an […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 01:30 pmRead Isn’t This Almost Kidnapping?
Me: "Why is your class still here?"
US Teacher: "Because none of their parents have come to pick them up yet! They’re still waiting."
Me: "They’re not being picked up. They walk home."
She looks like I just told her we let six-year-olds drive cars.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maevedarcy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
pinchhits2025-12-05 10:39 amholly_poly dark_kana) wrote in 3_good_things_a_day2025-12-05 02:33 pmnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 12:45 pmI got a phone call from a charity organization. They wanted me to donate some money to them. They kept calling me ‘miss’, and I kept correcting them ‘It’s doctor, actually’. Almost 11 times they called me miss, and I had to correct them ‘it’s doctor, actually’. Finally, I just hung up in frustration. The […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 12:00 pmnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 12:00 pm
Me: "So this is the room with two queen beds, and this is the room with the king bed."
Guest: "I'm confused, you're saying this one has two beds and this only has one?"
Me: "Yes. That is what you booked for your two reservations."
Guest: "Well, I called and you guys told me that both rooms would have a king and two queens in both rooms."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 11:00 amI’m a woman who prefers women, but I’m asexual. Apparently people can’t grasp the concept that you can’t be a lesbian if you don’t feel sexual attraction because romantic and sexual attraction are two different things, but they’re too stupid to listen. Person 1: Yes, you CAN be an asexual lesbian! You’re disgusting! Blocked and […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 10:00 amRead He Drives The Car, But She Drives The Marriage
We once had a man in his sixties throw a full-blown tantrum when he saw a female mechanic test-driving his car. I'm talking full toddler meltdown; yelling in the middle of the shop.
Customer: "What the h*** is this?! Women shouldn’t be driving cars! How dare you let a woman drive my car! What were you thinking?!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 10:00 amWe had a small pro bono client, o non profit organization. We did some small designs, some help with coding. One day they changed their main manager. Maybe he wanted to sound important or just required recognition, but when we sent prepared material for one of the projects, he sent back an email complaining that […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 09:00 amMy mom is the type of parent who wouldn’t let their kids out in the scary big world, until their old enough to handle it. My dad on the other hand believes kids should be allowed to roam freely, as soon as they possess the ability to overcome anything scary. (which in his family, living […]
conuly) wrote2025-12-07 02:34 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-05 08:00 amRead Some Bigotry Is Just Deep Fried In
Me: "I’m sorry you have to deal with miserable people like her."
The woman freezes mid-stride and spins around.
Customer: "What did you just say to me!?"
