ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason ([personal profile] ysobel) wrote2023-10-06 09:07 pm

(no subject)

CW aging pet and brainweasels thereof. (He's ok, my brain is an AH)

Yahtzee was in my room a lot tonight, licking my leg some (he has a very gentle sweet lick) and just hanging out.

My brain is looping on "he knows he's going to die tonight/soon and is saying bye", which would be more compelling if it didn't say that every damn time he does anything. But I also can't stop wondering how long he has. (His birthday is in ten days; he will be 14. I'm not sure how to spoil him properly.)

I also wonder if he ever wishes he had a different person, someone able to interact physically, someone better at going for walks, someone who actually had a life. He was amazing for me but I'm not sure I was amazing for him.

Telling him I love him doesn't feel like enough.