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Tonight is fired
*throws self onto virtual couch in a fit of melodramatic sobbing*
Okay, so. Roommate is out of town tonight and tomorrow night because of a friends bachelor party. My mom is sleeping over so I have someone here in case of emergency, but that’s always awkward at best, even if necessary. Meanwhile of my evening-able aides A has been out of town, scheduled to come back late tonight, and so M is my only option.
Fail the first was dinner. Roommate had left a veggie casserole -- vegetables of various sorts, pasta, cheese, idk what else -- for us to have, with instructions to pop it in the oven for 30-40 minutes (covered with aluminum foil for the first 20-25 and then opened). We check it at 25 minutes and it’s cold -- oven had been left on preheat, not switched to bake. Put it in for another 20, covered, and then another 10, open. Cheese is only half melted but it’s steaming and whatever, we’re hungry. Except we managed to both undercook and overcook -- vegetables were still crispy but so was the pasta on top.
Fail the second: I message M that I’m ready for her to come over. (It is 8:30, an hour after I usually start the whole process these days because of how long the bedding process takes and how long after that it takes my body to unwind enough to sleep.) She responds ok but then two minutes later is “pooping her guts out” and can’t leave the toilet and is there anyone that can cover. Now, A is my usual backup, but out of town. Roommate is secondary backup, but out of town. My stepmom is third backup, but superbad idea with my mom here. So I ask my mom if she can do it, and she says it’s better than catching whatever M has. (She also makes comments about the drugs she is convinced M is taking, and asks whether m has ever overdosed.)
Fail the third: my mom getting me ready for bed is a clusterfuck. First she insists that I need a washcloth bath (which I usually just do in the morning), and not just face and armpits but everywhere upper body, and while I put up with this there is a part of me inside that is screaming about bodily autonomy. Second she isn’t strong enough to get my shirt off without hurting my wrist a bit, though I don’t tell her. Third, the commode chair takes strength she doesn’t have, and she hurt herself several times using it -- once pinching a finger on the wheel lock lever, once wrenching her back trying to get it upright (I need it tilted back so I can get in, and then tilted back up for the peeing), once banging her hip trying to stop the chair from rolling. Fourth, she is tired and unpracticed and I am tired and explaining badly as to what goes where and it takes us until 10:20 to get me in bed.
(The only positive about all that is that the next time I’m asking my dad/stepmom for help getting to bed and they ask if she can do it instead, I have reasons to say no.)
Fail the fourth: A had said, before his trip, that he was coming back tonight but didn’t know whether he would be able to work tomorrow but would let me know. I text him tonight asking about tomorrow (before I knew M was sick, but she’s been doing every day for over a week and needs a break) and he finally replies saying that he’s actually driving back tomorrow instead sorry for the late notice. Which means M is my only option for tomorrow. I hope like hell she’s better.
I just kind of want to cry. A lot.
Okay, so. Roommate is out of town tonight and tomorrow night because of a friends bachelor party. My mom is sleeping over so I have someone here in case of emergency, but that’s always awkward at best, even if necessary. Meanwhile of my evening-able aides A has been out of town, scheduled to come back late tonight, and so M is my only option.
Fail the first was dinner. Roommate had left a veggie casserole -- vegetables of various sorts, pasta, cheese, idk what else -- for us to have, with instructions to pop it in the oven for 30-40 minutes (covered with aluminum foil for the first 20-25 and then opened). We check it at 25 minutes and it’s cold -- oven had been left on preheat, not switched to bake. Put it in for another 20, covered, and then another 10, open. Cheese is only half melted but it’s steaming and whatever, we’re hungry. Except we managed to both undercook and overcook -- vegetables were still crispy but so was the pasta on top.
Fail the second: I message M that I’m ready for her to come over. (It is 8:30, an hour after I usually start the whole process these days because of how long the bedding process takes and how long after that it takes my body to unwind enough to sleep.) She responds ok but then two minutes later is “pooping her guts out” and can’t leave the toilet and is there anyone that can cover. Now, A is my usual backup, but out of town. Roommate is secondary backup, but out of town. My stepmom is third backup, but superbad idea with my mom here. So I ask my mom if she can do it, and she says it’s better than catching whatever M has. (She also makes comments about the drugs she is convinced M is taking, and asks whether m has ever overdosed.)
Fail the third: my mom getting me ready for bed is a clusterfuck. First she insists that I need a washcloth bath (which I usually just do in the morning), and not just face and armpits but everywhere upper body, and while I put up with this there is a part of me inside that is screaming about bodily autonomy. Second she isn’t strong enough to get my shirt off without hurting my wrist a bit, though I don’t tell her. Third, the commode chair takes strength she doesn’t have, and she hurt herself several times using it -- once pinching a finger on the wheel lock lever, once wrenching her back trying to get it upright (I need it tilted back so I can get in, and then tilted back up for the peeing), once banging her hip trying to stop the chair from rolling. Fourth, she is tired and unpracticed and I am tired and explaining badly as to what goes where and it takes us until 10:20 to get me in bed.
(The only positive about all that is that the next time I’m asking my dad/stepmom for help getting to bed and they ask if she can do it instead, I have reasons to say no.)
Fail the fourth: A had said, before his trip, that he was coming back tonight but didn’t know whether he would be able to work tomorrow but would let me know. I text him tonight asking about tomorrow (before I knew M was sick, but she’s been doing every day for over a week and needs a break) and he finally replies saying that he’s actually driving back tomorrow instead sorry for the late notice. Which means M is my only option for tomorrow. I hope like hell she’s better.
I just kind of want to cry. A lot.
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