Okay that sucked

[ysobel]

Had a video chat with my primary care doc.

In her perception of the world:

* doctors always look for signs of autism and adhd in children
* it is rare if not impossible for anyone to get through school without all appropriate diagnoses
* this includes dyslexia (oh my god the skepticism in her voice when she was telling me about another patient of hers that ~thinks she has dyslexia~ despite having gotten ~all the way to grad school~)
* adhd meds are stimulants and work the same way on all brains so giving adhd meds to an adhd person will cause more problems than it's worth
* because I am not in school and do not work, there is absolutely zero reason to pursue a diagnosis
* (when I pointed out that it's not just a matter of "I can't do things I need to do" but "I can't even do things I WANT to do" she said that it would be ridiculous to put me on meth so I can watch a movie)
* adults with adhd don't take meds anyway, except maybe as-needed if they're in an exceptionally stimulating environment
* I am only having these problems because of increasing physical limitations and also anxiety (even though I've said several times that the behaviors and thought patterns go back to childhood, pre-dating even the existence of my depression)
* my existing diagnoses (FOP and anxiety) are all I need to get adequate support (ahahahahahaha)

I just ... ::flails incoherently::

Oh, and she was baffled by the hostility (actually desperation) in my responses because her telling me all this was just her, like, explaining the roadblocks I might face, and she's just the messenger. Even though none of it was phrased as "you might get resistance because xyz", it was all "xyz is absolute fact and also your needs don't matter because you don't work"

She's usually really good about stuff. Just ... not this.

Comments

[arctowardthesun]

That sucks, I'm sorry. <3

Gatekeepy docs are the worst.

eta: also ahahahahaahahaha doctors looking for that shit in AFAB kids.........

[pauamma]

/me scowls at your doc.

[alexseanchai]

that is impressively shittastic

[rydra_wong]

*primal screaming*

I'm so glad you have a neuro appointment regardless, but FUCK your primary care doc for being so confidently and destructively WRONG about SO MANY THINGS.

[vass]

* doctors always look for signs of autism and adhd in children
* it is rare if not impossible for anyone to get through school without all appropriate diagnoses

Both of those are so untrue it'd be hilarious if it weren't so tragic. ESPECIALLY at your age and assigned gender.

[princessofgeeks]

So incredibly frustrating.

[threeplusfire]

This has been a week of people being so spectacularly wrong about things they should know how to do/know about. (Why have I EVER worried about not being good enough at a job when people are like THIS???)

Shitty doctors are the worst. God I was really hoping she would be better about this but WOW.

[cesy]

Wow that is a lot of wrong "facts".

[jesse_the_k]

I am so sorry she was such an unhelpful jerk.

Fucking ahistorical doctors -- I had a psychologist tell me "of course you would have been dx'ed in school" -- in 1965? O really?

Sending you strength.

[niqaeli]

Jesus, I'm sorry. That is extremely awful on so many levels. I hope the neuro is more helpful/less wrong. <3

[killabeez]

Okay, wow. I mean, I'm glad she's been good about some things, but this is really ignorant and (I would argue) willfully blind, and unquestionably harmful, not just to you, but almost certainly others in the past.

[conuly]

* this includes dyslexia (oh my god the skepticism in her voice when she was telling me about another patient of hers that ~thinks she has dyslexia~ despite having gotten ~all the way to grad school~)

THE FUCK.

No, no, no, no, no. Schools overwhelmingly hate diagnosing dyslexia and will do literally anything to weasel out of having to do so. And since a private neuropsych is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ (ask me how I know....) if you don't have that money in your hand, your kid doesn't get a diagnosis.

[prissi]

Hi Isa. It makes me sad to hear you had this experience, from a number of different perspectives, including "hi I was diagnosed in adulthood, but only after self-diagnosing myself after diagnosing it others a ton myself". And yes, that was after getting told I didn't have it, by a psychologist I got sent to after I was struggling lots in med school. ;)

If you have a referral to adult neuro, I'm afraid you may not really get much of anywhere -- they have even less training in managing this than peds neurology. Your best bet is honestly psychiatry, or maybe there are adult neurologists in your area that may be more familiar and known to handle ADD diagnoses in adults well. If you'd like, let me know what your insurance is and I can work on trying to help you find someone in your area (I presume you're still in NorCal?)

[swingandswirl]

/offers hugs, cricket bat, and/or alibi, as desired/

Im sorry, bb.