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Argh bodies
Mild tmi warning for bodily function discussion.
My nighttime "system" for peeing basically involves a heavy duty adult diaper plus lots of absorbent pads (some disposable and some washable). This is partly because getting me in and out of bed is Quite A Procedure, and partly because I hate bothering people, and so by the time I convince my (half-asleep, if middle of night) self that I definitely need to pee enough to be worth waking someone else up, I need to go ASAP.
(Incidentally, adhd Twitter has taught me today that there is actually a term for not being aware of e.g. bladder levels until the signals get too loud to ignore, and that I am *not the only one* who has no awareness until I NEED to pee. I have been convinced since I was 8 that normal people had, like, the equivalent of a gas gauge, and that mine was just broken *because I wasn't trying hard enough*, and this is part of the whole tangle of issues that led to me dismissing my first UTI as a moral failing so it didn't get treated until I had like a 104° fever. I'm just kind of stunned by the idea that I'm not alone. And that arguably my "gas gauge" is flawed, like an old car where it always reads full unless you tap it and it drops to empty, but that it's *not my fault*.)
Anyway. Lately, I've been having overflow problems. I don't know if it's me producing more urine, or the briefs being different somehow -- I know it's partly the latter because I used to feel dry for most of the night and could eg feel the briefs absorbing, but with the current briefs even the first burst of pee just kind of sits there in a puddle, trapped against me or slowly leaking out the leg hole, and by morning it's soaked through all the layers and also my shirt and also sometimes puddled off onto the floor. If I can I try to pee in small amounts so it's not totally overwhelmed -- the briefs are, or at least used to be, hugely absorbent by volume but not speed.
Part of my routine is I get in bed fairly early, like all settled in by 7, and if I'm super tired I might kind of zone out but most times I don't go to sleep until 11 or 12 or 1. I have my iPad with me and I have games and Netflix and whatnot. So my roommate suggested she toilet me at like 10 and so there's less that goes into the overnight briefs.
Which is great, except, uh, the past several days, I've been needing to pee by 9, or 8:30, or 8. It's not even uti-ish empty urges; there's a lot of liquid. And because I don't really want to pee into the briefs if I'm toileting later, I am very aware of when my bladder sends off red alerts. I try to hold it in as long as possible, but that often means I'm wiggly and distracted for half an hour or so.
Today, I did my usual before-bed pee at around 6:45. And had a full bladder by 8. And now it's 9 and guess what: full. Again.
I miss when being in bed was my "I don't have to worry about toileting because I can just pee in my briefs" safe space/time...
My nighttime "system" for peeing basically involves a heavy duty adult diaper plus lots of absorbent pads (some disposable and some washable). This is partly because getting me in and out of bed is Quite A Procedure, and partly because I hate bothering people, and so by the time I convince my (half-asleep, if middle of night) self that I definitely need to pee enough to be worth waking someone else up, I need to go ASAP.
(Incidentally, adhd Twitter has taught me today that there is actually a term for not being aware of e.g. bladder levels until the signals get too loud to ignore, and that I am *not the only one* who has no awareness until I NEED to pee. I have been convinced since I was 8 that normal people had, like, the equivalent of a gas gauge, and that mine was just broken *because I wasn't trying hard enough*, and this is part of the whole tangle of issues that led to me dismissing my first UTI as a moral failing so it didn't get treated until I had like a 104° fever. I'm just kind of stunned by the idea that I'm not alone. And that arguably my "gas gauge" is flawed, like an old car where it always reads full unless you tap it and it drops to empty, but that it's *not my fault*.)
Anyway. Lately, I've been having overflow problems. I don't know if it's me producing more urine, or the briefs being different somehow -- I know it's partly the latter because I used to feel dry for most of the night and could eg feel the briefs absorbing, but with the current briefs even the first burst of pee just kind of sits there in a puddle, trapped against me or slowly leaking out the leg hole, and by morning it's soaked through all the layers and also my shirt and also sometimes puddled off onto the floor. If I can I try to pee in small amounts so it's not totally overwhelmed -- the briefs are, or at least used to be, hugely absorbent by volume but not speed.
Part of my routine is I get in bed fairly early, like all settled in by 7, and if I'm super tired I might kind of zone out but most times I don't go to sleep until 11 or 12 or 1. I have my iPad with me and I have games and Netflix and whatnot. So my roommate suggested she toilet me at like 10 and so there's less that goes into the overnight briefs.
Which is great, except, uh, the past several days, I've been needing to pee by 9, or 8:30, or 8. It's not even uti-ish empty urges; there's a lot of liquid. And because I don't really want to pee into the briefs if I'm toileting later, I am very aware of when my bladder sends off red alerts. I try to hold it in as long as possible, but that often means I'm wiggly and distracted for half an hour or so.
Today, I did my usual before-bed pee at around 6:45. And had a full bladder by 8. And now it's 9 and guess what: full. Again.
I miss when being in bed was my "I don't have to worry about toileting because I can just pee in my briefs" safe space/time...