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...fuck anxiety
Sep. 27th, 2012 02:59 pmSo everything was going swimmingly until someone from chorus (which runs during the university school year) tagged me in a Facebook post about how choir is starting today, and I kind of went "!!!!!! holy fuck what" because the last time I'd checked the schedule, the first rehearsal was next Tuesday, but I checked and lo and behold it got changed to start today.
Which wouldn't be a problem (I like chorus! I like singing!) except that, thinking I still had time off, I arranged a dinner thingie before the concert I'm going to tonight. Rehearsals run 4-6, dinner is at 5, and I haven't figured out how to be in two places at once.
There isn't really a whole lot of choice about what to do: with a concert, and with needing to eat, I'm going to have to leave rehearsal early. But I absolutely hate doing that, partly because it means I miss stuff but largely because the room is not really very accessible at all and I am on the far side of the piano from the door so he has to move the piano to let me out and with that and the chair and the dog I am not exactly subtle, and I hate drawing attention to myself and arghflail
and my anxiety has ramped up to red alert levels, even though it's objectively not that bad of a situation, but I am ... it isn't panic attack levels but it is gut-churning flaily madness.
Which wouldn't be a problem (I like chorus! I like singing!) except that, thinking I still had time off, I arranged a dinner thingie before the concert I'm going to tonight. Rehearsals run 4-6, dinner is at 5, and I haven't figured out how to be in two places at once.
There isn't really a whole lot of choice about what to do: with a concert, and with needing to eat, I'm going to have to leave rehearsal early. But I absolutely hate doing that, partly because it means I miss stuff but largely because the room is not really very accessible at all and I am on the far side of the piano from the door so he has to move the piano to let me out and with that and the chair and the dog I am not exactly subtle, and I hate drawing attention to myself and arghflail
and my anxiety has ramped up to red alert levels, even though it's objectively not that bad of a situation, but I am ... it isn't panic attack levels but it is gut-churning flaily madness.
