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notalwaysright_feedRead We Could Never Understand Why They Refuse To Understand
Me: "I will be assisting you with the issue, and anytime you feel like you don't understand me, you can stop me right there and ask me to repeat, I'll be more than happy to—"
Customer: *Cutting me off.* "—Yeah, you can help me out, but are you American?"
Me: "No, I am not."
Customer: "Well, then I am afraid I don't understand you. Bye."
Read We Could Never Understand Why They Refuse To Understand
notalwaysright_feedRead Mixed Smoke Signals
In the UK, when I was a kid (born in the 70s here), it was common for kids to be able to buy cigarettes. In fact, it was common for adults to send their kids to the local shop with a shopping list, with cigarettes being a common item among them.
I recall overhearing my older brother come home from being sent to the shops by my dad:
Read Mixed Smoke Signals
notalwaysright_feedRead The Scots And The Irish Would Like To Have A Word
I'm with my three-year-old daughter at the park. She's playing in the play area and I'm sitting nearby. An angry-looking woman storms over to me, pointing at my daughter.
Woman: "Is she your daughter?!"
Me: "Yes. Is something wrong?"
notalwaysright_feedRead When Your Content Hits A Wall
I work at an indoor climbing gym. I'm at the front desk with a group, checking waivers and assigning harnesses when a guy in expensive gym gear walks in. He has a tripod and a camera, so he's clearly more interested in looking cool than actually climbing.
notalwaysright_feedMy family and I live opposite a shopping mall, which underwent renovations recently in their outdoor entertainment area directly across the road from us. We put up with the noise for a year, which at times was unbearable when the construction workers decided to work outside of their legal hours, and it cost us quite […]
notalwaysright_feedRead Something Stinks, And It’s Not The Sulfur
Me: “Since the experiment involves sulfur, can I sit out? I have an allergy to it.”
Teacher: “No, you can’t. You have to participate and help your classmates!”
notalwaysright_feedWhen applying for Graduate school, I had to take the GRE test. As a matter of convenience, I decided to take the computer-based version rather than paper test. I didn’t know this prior to selecting the exam, but at the time, once you selected an answer you couldn’t go back to the question. I start […]
notalwaysright_feed(We just renovated our house and my parents recently bought a brand-new Smart TV. Soon after, my parents got a cable box that included a music streaming service app that was not included in the TV.) Me: *goes to music app on the cable box and plays some electronic music* My dad: *gets mad* Turn […]
notalwaysright_feedWhen the renewal invoices for homeowner’s policies are sent out, the banks call us to confirm the property is still insured to the terms of the mortgage. Usually it is just a quick set of questions, but sometimes banks move mortages internally and forget the policy needs to be updated. This could be annoying for […]
notalwaysright_feedWhile I love spending Christmas with my family, one thing that I don’t usually look forward to is the tiny handful of recycled jokes that come with Christmas crackers. One year, after once again getting the ‘shark infested custard’ joke, I decided I’d had enough. Me: Where does David Bowie put his pennies? ‘My family […]
badly_knitted posting in fan_flashworksbadly_knitted
notalwaysright_feed(My uncle and I are talking about the things we’ve done around the house. He has done most of the painting and work, while I’ve done everything from raising my child to cleaning and cooking. My mother is in the livnig room listening.) Uncle: I painted, did wood work, all that. Me: And I cook, […]
smallhobbit posting in fan_flashworksnotalwaysright_feed(Since my boyfriend still lives with his parents, and his mother babysits her two youngest grandchildren, I often find myself in the company of the tiny nephews. The baby, just now learning to walk and talk, is hilarious.) Boyfriend: *walks past his mom, who is holding the baby* Baby: Daddy! Grandma: No, no, that’s Uncle […]
notalwaysright_feed(My boyfriend entered a cooking contest.He’s a bit behind with his homework and lives alone so I’m buying the ingredients for him.We’re both high school seniors but he’s a couple of years older.) Old man:That’s a lot.Do yo need help pushing your cart,sweetie? Me:No thank you,sir.I can do it by myself. Old man:Flour,milk,chocolate,dong something special […]
notalwaysright_feed(We volunteer to train service dogs. We do Social and Behavioral Training, so we have to take the dogs basically everywhere we go. My ma is at a shop when a woman approaches her.) Woman: Where did you get that vest for your dog? (Most service animals wear vests denoting their service.) Ma: I’m sorry? […]
conuly posting in agonyauntanalogbasilisk in fan_flashworks - Amnesty / Feed | Original Fiction: Melancholic, And Hungrynotalwaysright_feed - We Could Never Understand Why They Refuse To Understandnotalwaysright_feed - Mixed Smoke Signalsnotalwaysright_feed - The Scots And The Irish Would Like To Have A Wordnotalwaysright_feed - When Your Content Hits A Wallnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - Something Stinks, And It’s Not The Sulfurnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)badly_knitted in fan_flashworks - Finger Challenge: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Fanfic: Battle Woundsnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)smallhobbit in fan_flashworks - Spy Challenge: Spooks (MI5): Fanfic: The picture in Voguenotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)conuly in agonyaunt - Gosh, I wonder why these adult kids don't want their overbearing parents in their lives...!branchandroot