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notalwaysright_feed
Customer: "I want an upside-down vanilla latte with caramel drizzle."
My coworker (a veteran compared to me, only a month into my role) jumps in and charges the customer for a caramel macchiato.
Me: *To my coworker after the customer leaves.* "Does she know she's just ordering a caramel machiatto?"
notalwaysright_feedRead Acting Like A Half-Pair Prince
Customer: "Can I only buy one sock?"
Me: "Sorry, we only sell them as pairs."
Customer: "Ugh, but I only need one."
notalwaysright_feedRead Queue The Comeback
Customer: "Table for six."
Owner: "Can I get your name? The waitlist is about an hour."
She takes a second, and this look of sheer anger appears on her face.
Read Queue The Comeback
notalwaysright_feed
Manager: "So… I'm reviewing the latest batch of bad reviews. The usual BS they think we need to give a s*** about, but then I came across this one."
My manager slides his tablet over to me, and I read the one-star review:
Customer Complaint: "Your bathroom is in your stockroom and difficult for a customer to access!"
notalwaysright_feedRead Surprised They Didn’t Say There Was A Fly In Their Soup
Customer: "There's a hair in my meal."
Coworker: "May I see it?"
The customer holds up a single hair while continuing to complain.
Customer: "I want a new meal."
Read Surprised They Didn’t Say There Was A Fly In Their Soup
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fandomsecrets
notalwaysright_feedRead Zero Sum Game
I got a letter from my state's unemployment department that I had been overpaid, and owed money. I continued reading the letter and saw my total owed.
Read Zero Sum Game
conulynotalwaysright_feedRead That Went Sofa In The Wrong Direction
Caller: "I got rid of the old couch, obviously! Right after I placed the order for the new one. We're sitting on the floor to watch TV, so delays are unacceptable."
notalwaysright_feed
Office Lady: "No, I gave you a key with the fob."
Me: "Ma'am, the only thing I was given was the—"
Office Lady: *Now angry.* "—Don't argue with me. I've been doing this for fifteen years; I know what the f*** I do with my keys."
notalwaysright_feedRead Will Flip When They Realize
Me: "No screen and no buttons? That's odd. Can you read the make and model from the box it came in?"
Caller: *Shouts the model number.*
Me: "Sir, that's a flip phone."
Caller: "What the h*** is a flip phone?!"
conuly posting in agonyauntconuly posting in agonyauntnotalwaysright_feedRead Wii Hate Small Print Too, But Don’t Shoot the Messenger!
Customer: *Walks right up to me and ignores my greeting.* "I want the Wii for $99.99!"
Me: *Internal groan.* "There's more detail to the sale than that, you also have to purchase these other items to—"
Customer: "—I don't care about any of that and don't want it, I just want the Wii for $99.99!"
Read Wii Hate Small Print Too, But Don’t Shoot the Messenger!
notalwaysright_feedRead A Solid Comeback
Me: "Can I get that bottle for you? You got pretty muddy feet, and I just cleaned the floor."
Guy: "That's what mops are for."
He stomps his feet and leaves.
Read A Solid Comeback
notalwaysright_feedRead Customer, Meat Your Match
Customer: "You said I could pick any meat as a replacement!"
Me: "Yes, sir, but just one. You're replacing one meat item for one meat item."
Customer: "You didn’t say that! You said I could have any of the other meats!"
Me: "But not all of them."
cakewrecks_feedIf there's one thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks over the past decade, it's that Epcot is a thing not to be trifled with.
If there's another thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks, it's that you can't make a rounded cupcake cake (ptoieee!). As in, ever. The laws of physics preclude even the merest hint of possibility.
Not that this stops our brave wreckerators from trying, of course. They seem convinced that slathering potentially life-threatening amounts of icing onto anything will put a skeptical customer into a pre-purchase sugar haze.
So let's look at how the seemingly simple circle becomes a disaster destined for diabolically dastardly...um...proportions. (No, wait. Dimensions! Dang it. Broke my stride.)
This...[dramatic pause]...is a base "ball."
And this...is Spider-Man:
Or what's left of him, anyway.
Actually, no. I think this is supposed to be a hamburger.
"Eh wude lak to baa zebargare kek."
Baker: "I'm sorry, what?"
"Zederbergerer kek."
Baker: "Okay, I'm really not sure what you're..."
*sobbing* "DERBERGER!"
Well just remember, Wreckerators, you can always resort to that old standby: Piping, The Fix For Everything.™
Perfect.
Nina M., Amanda Y., Tyler M., & Ruth U., here's hoping the CCC will be circling the drain sometime soon. Think there's a petition we can all sign?
*****
P.S. Right, so cupcake burgers are a no, but SOCK burgers?
SO MUCH YES.
I like how the patterns are subtle enough to be everyday socks.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
notalwaysright_feed - The Macchiato Masqueradezits_comicespanolrss_feed - Zits (Spanish) for Wed, 25 Mar 2026notalwaysright_feed - Acting Like A Half-Pair Princenotalwaysright_feed - Queue The Comebacknotalwaysright_feed - An Unauthorized Depositnotalwaysright_feed - Surprised They Didn’t Say There Was A Fly In Their Soupconuly - After we got to the end of Starfleet Academy we let the TV autoselect what's nextcase in fandomsecrets - [ SECRET POST #7018 ]notalwaysright_feed - Zero Sum Gameconuly - Finished Starfleet Academynotalwaysright_feed - That Went Sofa In The Wrong Directionprisca in fic_promptly - Tuesday, March 24 - Promotion Prompt Remindernotalwaysright_feed - Trying To Fob You Offnotalwaysright_feed - Will Flip When They Realizeconuly in agonyaunt - (no subject)conuly in agonyaunt - My Sister’s Husband Is Agreeing to Things No Straight Man Would. It’s a Sign.notalwaysright_feed - Wii Hate Small Print Too, But Don’t Shoot the Messenger!notalwaysright_feed - A Solid Comebacknotalwaysright_feed - Customer, Meat Your Matchcakewrecks_feed - A Little Rough Around The Edgesbranchandroot
