Hello internets! Mice me!

...I am in the market for a new mouse, seeing as my current one is getting a bit dodgy, and also my birthday is coming up so I have opportunities to wheedle awesome stuff.

My current mouse is an Evoluent vertical, with five buttons (left + middle + right, clickable scroll wheel, thumb button) even though I generally stick to left + middle + scroll.

I need something that is responsive (my current mouse, when it works, can go from the left side of the screen to the right side within about an inch of lateral physical movement) but also accurate. Ergonomic status is kind of a non-issue; ease of use is not. Multiple programmable buttons would be seriously awesome given the amount of gaming I tend to do. Wired is mildly preferable (wireless works but there are battery life issues associated) but not required.

So.

Any suggestions, recommendations, anti-recs, etc?

ow ow ow fuck

so I go to sit down to dinner, and all of a sudden my eyes go into full-on red-alert everybody-to-battle-stations mode. Some sort of really burning pain aggravated by having them open (air contact maybe? idk).

ten minutes of yelping, rubbing my eyes, *not* rubbing my eyes, having my roommate help wash them off with a damp washcloth, etc, got me to the point where I could have my eyes open without searing agony ... as long as I was okay with about one second's worth of squinting tear-blurred "open" about every twenty seconds or so.

eating is, for me, challenging enough -- I have forks/spoons that are basically on a foot-long plastic stick wielded from waist level. it does sort of require visual feedback in order to aim the fork/spoon at my mouth ad not, like, my ear.

I have no idea what caused it, how to keep it from happening again, or even how to make it go away.

/whimper/

(it has been another ten minutes or so, otherwise I wouldn't be able to type this -- my left hand touch types but the right keyboard is operated with a stick so I can reach the mouse with my hand, because that works better than trying to shove the mouse over with a stick -- and "touch typing" with the stick for half the letters gives at best a sentence that kooks sionewhat kuje this -- but I still have one eye squinched shut and the other one only partway open and blinking often)