(no subject)

so i was going to write an actual update, but then things happened.

like mild digestive issues

(of course bad enough to make me feel like crap but not bad enough to give me an excuse to stay home from the meeting I don't want to go to tonight)

and like one of my aides giving three-week notice

(not unexpected, and I sort of saw it coming, but she's worked for me for a long time and she's sort of a rock and a bastion of sanity and stuff, and I am sort of tailspinning, because I just want her to stay forever dammit)

and I've never been good with tears

(embarrassing, shameful, weak, hide them under the surface, turn a lying smiling face to the world, if anyone notices say something about allergies)

and depressiony stuff is upswinging again

(and I'm sometimes better about identifying jerkbrain but that doesn't take away its power or shut it up)

and and and

(blehhh)

so, no real update.

(just me whining)

(again)