...huh

It's kind of weird / disturbing / perplexing just how hollow and unemotional I'm feeling about Advent and Christmas this year, at least religiously. It's sort of the same disillusionment I've been having with Easter the past few years: the message is "the world is depressing and full of sin but ~yay Jesus~" and the first part is still true but I'm so not feeling the second half. There's only so many times that you can be told (twice a year, even) that Hope Is Coming and have nothing happen but the same dreary everyday reality, before you stop believing.

I think it says something that lighting Hanukkah candles this last week was more fulfilling than the advent concert my church did.