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Jun. 20th, 2012 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelIt is a little telling that my reaction to Getting Behind is a "omg I am a failure I can't handle anything" turtle panic shutdown.
Unfortunately, being able to recognize this when it is happening doesn't actually help me get out of it.
The current list of things what I need to do:
* call back [redacted], whom I was supposed to get together with two weeks ago, canceled due to being sick and said I'd call her the following week, except then I realized a few days ago that more time had passed than I thought; she called me yesterday with a "I haven't heard from you and I'm getting worried" and I am utterly terrified of calling her back just because of the delay;
* email the group that I am theoretically co-chair of even though I don't know what I'm doing, which had a meeting last Tuesday that I flaked on (combination of being sick and not arranging transportation there and back) and has a presentation thing Saturday that I should see what needs doing still, all the while not admitting to them that I am the most useless co-chair ever;
* respond to an email about whether I will be continuing with a church group (to which the answer is no, and I am not going to admit that there is no good reason for it other than "don't want to do it");
* email the person that asked for a link to my clarion write-a-thon page thing, except that even though I was able to get past the "this is ridiculous" part of my brain to vocalize this as a Thing I'm Doing This Summer, it is harder to get past the block against asking people for money, and I know (or at least hope) I'm not pushing it on people but it's still weird and anyway given my history with these things I am going to crap out after a week so augh;
* et fucking cetera why is being an adult so hard ;_;
Things what I have accomplished today:
* installing Dragon
* not being a gibbering wreck
Unfortunately, being able to recognize this when it is happening doesn't actually help me get out of it.
The current list of things what I need to do:
* call back [redacted], whom I was supposed to get together with two weeks ago, canceled due to being sick and said I'd call her the following week, except then I realized a few days ago that more time had passed than I thought; she called me yesterday with a "I haven't heard from you and I'm getting worried" and I am utterly terrified of calling her back just because of the delay;
* email the group that I am theoretically co-chair of even though I don't know what I'm doing, which had a meeting last Tuesday that I flaked on (combination of being sick and not arranging transportation there and back) and has a presentation thing Saturday that I should see what needs doing still, all the while not admitting to them that I am the most useless co-chair ever;
* respond to an email about whether I will be continuing with a church group (to which the answer is no, and I am not going to admit that there is no good reason for it other than "don't want to do it");
* email the person that asked for a link to my clarion write-a-thon page thing, except that even though I was able to get past the "this is ridiculous" part of my brain to vocalize this as a Thing I'm Doing This Summer, it is harder to get past the block against asking people for money, and I know (or at least hope) I'm not pushing it on people but it's still weird and anyway given my history with these things I am going to crap out after a week so augh;
* et fucking cetera why is being an adult so hard ;_;
Things what I have accomplished today:
* installing Dragon
* not being a gibbering wreck