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Mar. 28th, 2014 09:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelI have too much Stuff, and I ... don't particularly like it.
I definitely have hoarding tendencies, both genetic -- on both sides of the family -- and personal. I like to keep stuff. And I like to have stuff around just in case. Of what, I don't always know.
The problem is, it looks cluttery, it FEELS cluttery, and I have very few usable horizontal surfaces, and I'm getting a bit frustrated. (Said frustration not helped by the whole thing where I can't actually do cleaning or organizing myself, and the times when I have someone around able and willing to do the physical parts -- especially if I want someone that respects my boundaries of what is important to me to keep -- rarely coincides with when I am in a mental place suitable for doing the decisions
I have been trying to come up with a mental categorization of stuff I have, and their relevant statuses, and have come up with the following categories, in no particular order:
Books: self evident. Some are definite keepers, some are ones I want to read before donating, some are ready for donation but need weeding out (especially since I am gravitating towards ebooks). Oddly the hardest category for me to figure out is reference materials, anything from textbooks from college and high school, to folklore and mythology, to things I might need for writing. The ones that I can obviously get rid of, e.g. web design books from the late 90s, are hard to figure out how to dispose of because no one else wants them either. Also my book collection desperately needs organizing, and I sort of wish I had room to just get a bunch of giant boxes set up in the living room, take books off the shelves and categorize as I go, and then put them back up by box.
Knitting supplies: yarn, more yarn, needles/hooks, etc. Generally stuff I want to keep. Biggest issue is the yarn I "inherited" from various sources that I don't want to get rid of in case I ever need it but don't use very much. (Just-in-case hoarding logic is one of my downfalls.)
Cross-stitch supplies: some patterns, some kits, a lot of WIPs. I am conflicted about this. On the one hand, I physically can't do cross-stitch at all any more. On the other hand, I miss the hell out of it and am clinging to desperate if unrealistic hope that I can figure out some way to manage it. So, okay, the unused (non-kit) fabric and the unopened kits can be rehomed with very little fuss on my part. The opened kits -- not finished, but at varying levels of completion -- I'm not as sure about. But the ones I have an emotional attachment to? I can't get rid of them, I just can't.
Other crafting supplies: origami supplies and art supplies. The origami books can be re-homed, if I can find them; ditto the origami paper. Art supplies can mostly be re-homed but I want to keep colored pencils around. Only problem is finding/isolating art supplies because they're all jumbled with other stuff.
Durable medical equipment: bulky but can't really get rid of.
Papers that are emotionally significant: cards and letters, mainly, and I have problems getting rid of that sort of thing. Sometimes it's because there's a cute or pretty picture/design; sometimes it's from someone I care about; I really need to figure out a good storage system, so that I can hang on to them without them getting in the way.
Papers that might be important: receipts, medical visit summaries, mail from social security or in home support services, etc.
Food: non refrigerated stuff, particularly snacks and candy. I tend to get stuff and then not eat it -- not on purpose, it's just that I can't actually get stuff out myself, and usually when I want a snack no one is around to help me (and if someone is I have to combat the shame/awkwardness of admitting to wanting something that isn't Healthy). And then I have stuff that is old enough to be not worth keeping but I feel awkward about having people judge me, either for having the stuff in the first place or for not eating it, so I don't get rid of it. Augh. If I had enough mobility to be able to bag stuff up myself... but I don't.
--
So here are the problems I've identified that keep me from getting stuff clean:
- lack of organizational system (and for lack of a proper place to put stuff, it just piles up)
- stuff is all jumbled together (so e.g. dealing with art supplies wouldn't be a problem except that it's in several different places and mixed in with important papers and unimportant papers and whatever)
- shame / fear of judgment
- limited mental endurance for sorting or for judging what to keep and what to toss (compounded by the fact that I have to coordinate with others so can't just clean when I feel like it and stop when I feel like it
- a very strong tendency to not want to get rid of something as I'm sorting even though the only time I remember or care that I have it is when I'm sorting
...bleh.
I. I don't like my place the way it is, I have way too much shit, and I haven't got any fucking clue how to fix it.
(This entry is partly just me talking stuff out, but suggestions or comments are more than welcome)
I definitely have hoarding tendencies, both genetic -- on both sides of the family -- and personal. I like to keep stuff. And I like to have stuff around just in case. Of what, I don't always know.
The problem is, it looks cluttery, it FEELS cluttery, and I have very few usable horizontal surfaces, and I'm getting a bit frustrated. (Said frustration not helped by the whole thing where I can't actually do cleaning or organizing myself, and the times when I have someone around able and willing to do the physical parts -- especially if I want someone that respects my boundaries of what is important to me to keep -- rarely coincides with when I am in a mental place suitable for doing the decisions
I have been trying to come up with a mental categorization of stuff I have, and their relevant statuses, and have come up with the following categories, in no particular order:
Books: self evident. Some are definite keepers, some are ones I want to read before donating, some are ready for donation but need weeding out (especially since I am gravitating towards ebooks). Oddly the hardest category for me to figure out is reference materials, anything from textbooks from college and high school, to folklore and mythology, to things I might need for writing. The ones that I can obviously get rid of, e.g. web design books from the late 90s, are hard to figure out how to dispose of because no one else wants them either. Also my book collection desperately needs organizing, and I sort of wish I had room to just get a bunch of giant boxes set up in the living room, take books off the shelves and categorize as I go, and then put them back up by box.
Knitting supplies: yarn, more yarn, needles/hooks, etc. Generally stuff I want to keep. Biggest issue is the yarn I "inherited" from various sources that I don't want to get rid of in case I ever need it but don't use very much. (Just-in-case hoarding logic is one of my downfalls.)
Cross-stitch supplies: some patterns, some kits, a lot of WIPs. I am conflicted about this. On the one hand, I physically can't do cross-stitch at all any more. On the other hand, I miss the hell out of it and am clinging to desperate if unrealistic hope that I can figure out some way to manage it. So, okay, the unused (non-kit) fabric and the unopened kits can be rehomed with very little fuss on my part. The opened kits -- not finished, but at varying levels of completion -- I'm not as sure about. But the ones I have an emotional attachment to? I can't get rid of them, I just can't.
Other crafting supplies: origami supplies and art supplies. The origami books can be re-homed, if I can find them; ditto the origami paper. Art supplies can mostly be re-homed but I want to keep colored pencils around. Only problem is finding/isolating art supplies because they're all jumbled with other stuff.
Durable medical equipment: bulky but can't really get rid of.
Papers that are emotionally significant: cards and letters, mainly, and I have problems getting rid of that sort of thing. Sometimes it's because there's a cute or pretty picture/design; sometimes it's from someone I care about; I really need to figure out a good storage system, so that I can hang on to them without them getting in the way.
Papers that might be important: receipts, medical visit summaries, mail from social security or in home support services, etc.
Food: non refrigerated stuff, particularly snacks and candy. I tend to get stuff and then not eat it -- not on purpose, it's just that I can't actually get stuff out myself, and usually when I want a snack no one is around to help me (and if someone is I have to combat the shame/awkwardness of admitting to wanting something that isn't Healthy). And then I have stuff that is old enough to be not worth keeping but I feel awkward about having people judge me, either for having the stuff in the first place or for not eating it, so I don't get rid of it. Augh. If I had enough mobility to be able to bag stuff up myself... but I don't.
--
So here are the problems I've identified that keep me from getting stuff clean:
- lack of organizational system (and for lack of a proper place to put stuff, it just piles up)
- stuff is all jumbled together (so e.g. dealing with art supplies wouldn't be a problem except that it's in several different places and mixed in with important papers and unimportant papers and whatever)
- shame / fear of judgment
- limited mental endurance for sorting or for judging what to keep and what to toss (compounded by the fact that I have to coordinate with others so can't just clean when I feel like it and stop when I feel like it
- a very strong tendency to not want to get rid of something as I'm sorting even though the only time I remember or care that I have it is when I'm sorting
...bleh.
I. I don't like my place the way it is, I have way too much shit, and I haven't got any fucking clue how to fix it.
(This entry is partly just me talking stuff out, but suggestions or comments are more than welcome)