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May. 23rd, 2024 10:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelThe art project I started the year with (every week gets a different letter and then I draw stuff starting with that letter) is limping along. Do I have a procreate file with 20 full layers (A-T) and one partial, yes; but it's devolved from "do a thing daily" (with all the enthusiasm of an AuDHD brain excited about Shiny New Thing) to "weekly, scribble out seven doodles". The SNT sparkle wore off, so it's easy to forget, easy also to put it off. It's getting increasingly into "meh, donwanna" territory. Plus, I feel like I shouldn't do other arting until I've done at least one on the year project.
On the one hand, I have no reason to do art projects that aren't fun, so I could finish off the alphabet and then stop, or even just stop now. On the other hand, part of my purpose was to see if I could commit myself long term, sort of like training for a marathon or something, and stopping is a resounding no. On the other other hand, six months isn't nothing. On the other other other hand, I have probably gotten more actual drawing time in the year to date than the whole last year total. On the other other other other hand, I could still do weekly art time, just with other things. On the other other other other other hand, I am apparently an octopus (or, since it's hands instead of feet, octomanus? which would of course be pronounced with stress on -to-, like the stress pattern for Octavius)
...ahem. I digress.
This dilemma kind of reminds me of not always being able to tell the difference between "lazy" and "hitting a limit", or between "depressiony instinct to isolate" and "introverted instinct to be safe". I like Right Answers, one reason I adored math in HS -- yes I know there are fuzzier areas of higher math, but that's not what I studied -- and when a situation has multiple possible angles, I just kinda ... overload.
[n.b. Entry started 21:29, finished 22:15]
On the one hand, I have no reason to do art projects that aren't fun, so I could finish off the alphabet and then stop, or even just stop now. On the other hand, part of my purpose was to see if I could commit myself long term, sort of like training for a marathon or something, and stopping is a resounding no. On the other other hand, six months isn't nothing. On the other other other hand, I have probably gotten more actual drawing time in the year to date than the whole last year total. On the other other other other hand, I could still do weekly art time, just with other things. On the other other other other other hand, I am apparently an octopus (or, since it's hands instead of feet, octomanus? which would of course be pronounced with stress on -to-, like the stress pattern for Octavius)
...ahem. I digress.
This dilemma kind of reminds me of not always being able to tell the difference between "lazy" and "hitting a limit", or between "depressiony instinct to isolate" and "introverted instinct to be safe". I like Right Answers, one reason I adored math in HS -- yes I know there are fuzzier areas of higher math, but that's not what I studied -- and when a situation has multiple possible angles, I just kinda ... overload.
[n.b. Entry started 21:29, finished 22:15]