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This Order Is A Red Flag
Jul. 22nd, 2025 05:00 am![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feed
Enjoy this short story from Not Always Right!
notalwaysright_feedI Am Region, For I Represent Many
Jul. 22nd, 2025 03:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead I Am Region, For I Represent Many
Me: "We shell out too much money on additional payroll, and utilities, and comping their stay to take their abuse. I don't have the numbers, but this is ridiculous."
Unbeknownst to me, the regional team had arrived, and they were behind me. The regional general manager tapped me on the shoulder and said:
Regional GM: "Bring me up to speed."
Someone Alert The In-House Monk!
Jul. 22nd, 2025 01:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Someone Alert The In-House Monk!
Customer: "The energy in here is… off."
Me: "Can I help you find something?"
Customer: "No. I’m just trying to figure out why this place feels aggressive."
It’s All Smoke And Black Mirrors
Jul. 22nd, 2025 12:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead It’s All Smoke And Black Mirrors
It's a quiet afternoon in the office when I notice it… again. [Coworker #1], [Coworker #2], and [Coworker #3] are heading outside for another smoke break. They rotate like clockwork. Ten minutes each. Seven or eight times a day. No one says a word.
The Condom Has Been Used On The Wrong Person
Jul. 21st, 2025 11:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead The Condom Has Been Used On The Wrong Person
A pregnant woman and her husband are shopping in the pharmacy. They place their items on the counter, and the guy adds some condoms to the pile.
Pregnant Customer: "Uh… what are those for?"
People Power Versus Power Plays
Jul. 21st, 2025 10:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead People Power Versus Power Plays
Me: "Why do I only have nine hours?"
Coworker: "Wait, why am I not even on here?"
Other Coworker: "Why is [Coworker Who Always Disappears] scheduled full-time?"
Me: "Hey [Manager], is this a mistake?"
This Is Definitely Outside Of The Gender Norms
Jul. 21st, 2025 09:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead This Is Definitely Outside Of The Gender Norms
Customer: "Where's the restroom?"
Me: "It's right there, sir."
Customer: "That's for the women! I pee standing up!"
A Cry For… Something
Jul. 21st, 2025 08:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead A Cry For… Something
Manager: "I just wanted a quick meeting to check that you're okay?"
Me: "...yes, I'm fine, thanks."
Manager: "Okay. It's just that the previous shift left this paperwork with me, and they seemed quite concerned."
Read A Cry For… Something
She Said It! She Said The Thing!
Jul. 21st, 2025 07:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead She Said It! She Said The Thing!
Customer: "Excuse me! I asked one of your staff for assistance ten minutes ago, and they walked away to help someone else. I need someone now."
Me: "I’m happy to help. What is it you need?"
Customer: "I don’t have to explain myself again. I’ve already said it once."
I’m Unable To Serve(r) That Request
Jul. 21st, 2025 05:55 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead I’m Unable To Serve(r) That Request
Vice President: "You're extremely unprofessional! I will personally speak to your director about your work ethic. The ticket will be reassigned to you, and I want YOU to fix it!"
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 33
Jul. 21st, 2025 05:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 33
A customer grabs a handful of items, drinks, snacks, and some toiletries, and starts walking toward the door.
Me: "Sir? Checkout is this way."
Customer: "Calm down. I’ll pay if I decide I actually want them."
Read Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 33
If You Don’t Want To Read This, Then Wait For The Movie Version
Jul. 21st, 2025 05:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead If You Don’t Want To Read This, Then Wait For The Movie Version
Customer: "Do you have a section for just the movie versions?"
Me: "The movie versions? Of… books?"
Customer: "Yes! The movie versions!"
Me: "Did you have a book in mind?"
Customer: "Eww! I don't want a book! I want a movie version!"
Read If You Don’t Want To Read This, Then Wait For The Movie Version
When Breaks Hit Breaking Point
Jul. 21st, 2025 04:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead When Breaks Hit Breaking Point
I work in the warehouse of a large big box store. Our boss is always moaning about the amount of work that goes into "managing" us all and is always looking for ways to cut corners and do less.
Manager: "I'm so tired of coordinating all your breaks! You're all grown-a** adults! From now on, I'm not assigning breaks. Just use your judgment."
Cool. I have judgment. I used it.
Sumer Lovin'
Jul. 21st, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedSo tell me, Wreckies, how are you enjoying your summer?
Sorry, I mean, "Sumer?"
Or is it "Sumeer?"
You know what, just to be safe, let's sell both versions.
And then make this one the store display, so everyone can see it:
I like to be happy, summetime.
Well, however you spell it, I hope you're taking this time to enjoy a little sun.
Or a large, red-eyed spider crawling out of your cake.
And that you're working on your tan:
Or dismembering Edward Cullen. (Hey bakers, where's the glitter?)
Of course, the only acceptable foot wear right now are flip-flops:
Emphasis on the "flops."
And every meal should end with a hefty slice of watermelon:
Preferably the seedless kind. Unless you're expecting...to be expecting.
(See what I did there?)
And since these are the lazy days of summer we're talking about, you should be taking lots of breaks:
Stickin' it to the man. Or in this case, the customer.
Maybe visit the pit of despair community swimming pool?
"Watch out, kids, I'm about to throw another one down."
Or just spend a few quiet evenings walking the beach, looking for seashells and/or body parts:
Who wants ribs?
Thanks to Cassie, Brian B., Molly S., Jill V., Tina, Jaemie G., Lindsay W., Elizabeth & AnneMarie, & Anony M. for the disarming finds.
*****
P.S. If you actually go to the beach, then clearly you need a mesh tote bag that's in such high demand they couldn't even get one for the photoshoot, and had to photoshop it in (badly) later:
Oversized Mesh Beach Bag
Oh yeah, bad Photoshop is how you know it's good. Well, that, and the 2,000+ 5-star ratings. Turns out this thing is actually pretty awesome, and also comes in blue, gray, or white. Grab yours before the manufacturer tries to snatch the last one up for a re-shoot.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Seeing Red At Lack Of Green
Jul. 21st, 2025 03:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Seeing Red At Lack Of Green
I work overnights in a deli at a convenience store. I like the job and it's pretty chill and quiet at night... except the occasional 'fun customer'.
A Turn Up For The Books
Jul. 21st, 2025 02:30 pmnotalwaysright_feed
It's summer, and my parents have pretty much given up trying to get [Middle Brother] to do anything but game. I offer to let my brothers tag along on my library trips, which [Middle Brother] accepts after I mention the console games that are available to borrow near the DVDs.
Infected With The Rant Virus
Jul. 21st, 2025 01:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Infected With The Rant Virus
I am waiting at the bus stop. The bus is running about ten minutes late, and there are several other people waiting at this stop, including this woman. This woman is with a friend and is constantly moaning about how useless the buses are, how she has things to do and will be late, how this will mess up her entire afternoon, blah blah blah.
Has A Hundred Chips On Their Shoulder
Jul. 21st, 2025 01:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Has A Hundred Chips On Their Shoulder
I work as a table games dealer at a casino, and today I’m dealing roulette. A player and his girlfriend have sat down at my table, and they are the only ones there.