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Had a dream last night that somehow involved me pretending to be more out-of-it than I actually was. The bit I remember was walking up to a bed and just kind of timberrrring down, crosswise, without undressing or taking anything off the bed or whatever, and lying there face-down without reacting, like I was zoned out or ... idk I can't really describe it.

I seem to have a lot of dreams lately that involve me pretending to be either a) asleep, when I'm not, or b) seriously brain-fried [I think the latest one of those involved a sort of magic spell that could plausibly have short-circuited bits of my brain] or otherwise mentally mostly-nonfunctional. It's not just being incapable; it's deliberately acting incapable when I know full well that I'm not.

I can't decide whether they're symbolic of my life, or a weird backwards application of imposter syndrome.

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I am feeling very out of sorts right now. Last night I hit a brick wall in terms of spoons / cope level, to the point that I was pretty much yelling^† at my PA, who was just as tired as I was and who tries my patience even on the best of days (she wants to be helpful, she just needs so much micromanaging and her personality has annoying parts and I am not good at managing people), and it was all bad, and then I couldn't sleep, and then I couldn't wake up very easily, and I haven't done anything all day and I feel exhausted.

(† - I don't really yell per se all that much, but it was frustrated-stressed-out-voice, impatient voice, crankypants voice. which I try not to let out very often but sometimes I just don't have enough spoons to keep it reined in.)

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Also, the inevitable happened yesterday, in that while backing out of the bathroom (which is the easiest way to get out) I sort of ran into Suri (who tends not to want to move when she's comfortable). I'm fairly sure it was into and not over, because she yowled and ran away but didn't, and still doesn't, seem injured, but it was still a bit traumatic for both of us.

(Yes, she has forgiven me, I think, especially when I'm safely immobile in bed, but she is now super-skittish about being near me when I'm in the chair, which makes me sadface. I mean, a bit of caution is a good thing, and she was being way too unaware of the possible dangers, but rabbiting away when I'm still like three or four feet off is a bit depressing. I didn't want her to make a wheelchairs=scarybad association.)

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Moods like this are ones where I tend to give in to listening to the drastic pessimistic voice in my head. ( blah blah blah warning: triggery )

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WoW mounts; or, how WoW can eat my life

So I have for a while had the vague, nonurgent desire to Get All The Mounts on my main character. (This was stymied slightly when I changed which character was my main... ah well.)

I have 70 mounts right now. This includes almost all of the purchasable mounts, flying and otherwise, and all available craftable (since I am for whatever reason a tailor, which gives me three mounts but makes no sense for a shaman, and a skinner, which gives me zero mounts). I also have rep mounts from netherwing, ancient egypt cat-centaur people, and kurenai.

The problem is, the remaining mounts fall into 5 categories: 1) unavailable, 2) based on achievements, 3) based on PvP or large group play, 4) based on having exalted reputation, or 5) hideously expensive. Some mounts fall into more than one of these.

( blather )

...yeah. I'm insane.