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Apr. 30th, 2012 12:33 pmI kind of had one of those nights where ... I have no idea how much sleep I got, but it wasn't very much. I know I was still awake (and so hot I was sweaty all over) at 2:30. Dropped off at some point, woke up at 4:30 because I was cold from the anti-hot measures (fan pointed at me + sheet off), woke up at 5:30 for no apparent reason, woke up at 6:20 because Yahtzee was doing his morning thing, woke up at 7:30 for no good reason, woke up at 8:30 because Yahtzee was restlessing at one of my roommates who was in the bathroom, got up at 9:30 because that was my scheduled time.
And partly because of that, I am in so much of a spoon deficit that I keep wanting to a) burst into tears, and b) apologise for ~ALL THE THINGS~.
Like being depressed, and whining about being depressed, and being disabled, and whining about being disabled, and not being able to take care of myself, and not being able to take care of other people, and not writing more, and thinking anyone would care about reading what I write, and--
--and yes, some of those are not under my control, and some of those are directly contradictory to others, and I probably would apologise for the state of the economy and for the lack of world peace and for not having found a cure to cancer. And definitely apologising for all the apologisings omg.
Gahhh.
And partly because of that, I am in so much of a spoon deficit that I keep wanting to a) burst into tears, and b) apologise for ~ALL THE THINGS~.
Like being depressed, and whining about being depressed, and being disabled, and whining about being disabled, and not being able to take care of myself, and not being able to take care of other people, and not writing more, and thinking anyone would care about reading what I write, and--
--and yes, some of those are not under my control, and some of those are directly contradictory to others, and I probably would apologise for the state of the economy and for the lack of world peace and for not having found a cure to cancer. And definitely apologising for all the apologisings omg.
Gahhh.