(no subject)

Each morning when I get up -- which is almost never because I have awoken naturally -- I tell myself "tonight, when I go to bed, I am going to let myself go directly to sleep", because being tired sucks. It's not a "should", it's that I very much want to, and plan to, just go to sleep once I'm in bed.

This resolve lasts quite literally until I am in bed with the lights out, at which point I get an overwhelming urge to Do Something. Read, or listen to an audiobook, or watch Netflix, or something. At which point I end up staying up later than I meant to, and the cycle resumes.

I ... really do not understand this.