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Jul. 4th, 2024 09:59 pmthe older I get, the more I dislike the Night Of Loud Irregular Noises. Grumpy face.
Also my brain decided it would be awesome to literally cry about not being able to hug. (I can receive hugs, awkward sideways ones anyway, but haven't had the arm mobility in years.) This isn't a new thing ... I forget exactly when I lost which joint, but it's probably a least ten years since I could do a one-armed wraparound in response to awkward sideways hugs, longer since I've been able to do frontal hugs. So I don't know why it hit last night. Maybe partly because in my rewatch of Bones (up to season 7 by today; I just hit the ep with the mention of FOP) there was a bit where Brennan ends up lying curled up against Booth with his arms around him, and I started thinking about what it would be like to be held like that, especially by someone who a) is extremely attractive and probably good-smelling, b) has strong arms and a strong protective instinct, and c) cares deeply for you. But the later crying was less about being held and more about doing the holding, with a side of "I'm a horrible pet parent because I can't snuggle or scritch" ... so idk.
I got notified earlier this week of a Covid exposure Saturday (someone I was around who was symptomless but later tested positive) so my brain then started flailing about whether emotional crash -- and/or repetitive yawning, which I kept doing yesterday -- was a potential symptom. Tested today and it was negative.
The weather here has been hot ... triple digits for the first 10+ days of July, including some 110s. I objected to the universe but that made no difference.
In other news I am planning on going to visit Yahtzee this weekend. (He "retired" to live with his puppy raisers, who live an hour or so away.) He is a Very Good Boy and I miss him, though my aides probably don't miss the poop cleanup, lol. I will probably miss him more after this visit because it'll just remind both of us of What Used To Be. I'm just hoping he isn't too mad at me.
Also my brain decided it would be awesome to literally cry about not being able to hug. (I can receive hugs, awkward sideways ones anyway, but haven't had the arm mobility in years.) This isn't a new thing ... I forget exactly when I lost which joint, but it's probably a least ten years since I could do a one-armed wraparound in response to awkward sideways hugs, longer since I've been able to do frontal hugs. So I don't know why it hit last night. Maybe partly because in my rewatch of Bones (up to season 7 by today; I just hit the ep with the mention of FOP) there was a bit where Brennan ends up lying curled up against Booth with his arms around him, and I started thinking about what it would be like to be held like that, especially by someone who a) is extremely attractive and probably good-smelling, b) has strong arms and a strong protective instinct, and c) cares deeply for you. But the later crying was less about being held and more about doing the holding, with a side of "I'm a horrible pet parent because I can't snuggle or scritch" ... so idk.
I got notified earlier this week of a Covid exposure Saturday (someone I was around who was symptomless but later tested positive) so my brain then started flailing about whether emotional crash -- and/or repetitive yawning, which I kept doing yesterday -- was a potential symptom. Tested today and it was negative.
The weather here has been hot ... triple digits for the first 10+ days of July, including some 110s. I objected to the universe but that made no difference.
In other news I am planning on going to visit Yahtzee this weekend. (He "retired" to live with his puppy raisers, who live an hour or so away.) He is a Very Good Boy and I miss him, though my aides probably don't miss the poop cleanup, lol. I will probably miss him more after this visit because it'll just remind both of us of What Used To Be. I'm just hoping he isn't too mad at me.