*writerly flail*

[ysobel]

I have two things I want to be writing.

One is my stargate_summer fic, which ... well. It is about equal parts Actual Writing (and my Inner Editor is throwing /fits/ about all the inconsistencies and name mispellings and tense shifts) and Scene Notes, but I /don't have an ending/.

Which is not why I'm flailing, because really, I could be writing out the SN sketches into Actual Writing, and worry about the ending later.

Nope. The problem is with the story itself. It feels ... repetitive and redundant, both within itself and with respect to canon.

See, ok, Stargate has canon Alternate Realities. And we've had canon "let's go to alternate realities whee" (TBFTGOG), "lets have alternate realities come to us" (PoV, Ripple Effect), and various alternate realities from time travel changes (2001, 2010, Moebius, etc).

The story I am currently writing is one that I can trace back to at least September 2001 June 19th 2001. TBFTGoG had aired, and POV as well, but Ripple Effect definitely hadn't, nor Moebius. (In case anyone is curious, the original plot bunny ambush was just before Fragile Balance, which is season 7.)

So some of the canon duplication is not the story's fault. It's mine, maybe, for waiting this long, but it's not like I could have known. (Unlike one stalled story I have, a SPN crossover that sprang into my head after AHBL1 and before AHBL2 and I knew damn well it was going to get jossed.)

But ...

...so, okay, I'm kind of paranoid about ... not so much about spoiling the story as spoiling the story *by accident* for people who care. So the rest of this is rot13ed. For the 98% of you that can't read rot13 natively, copy and paste into http://www.rot13.com/ .

Evtug. Fb, gur onfvp cerzvfr bs gur fgbel vf gung gurer vf na nygreangr ernyvgl (juvpu V sbe n ybat gvzr jnf pnyyvat Havirefr O) jurer Wnpx, zber be yrff, gnxrf gur cynpr bs Fun'er, obgu nf Qnavry'f ebznagvp vagrerfg naq nf Crefba Jub Vf Gnxra Nf Tbn'hyq Naq Zhfg Or Frnepurq Sbe. Naq gurer vf n zbzrag jurer gur Fgnetngr jbezubyrf pebff, naq gur Qnavryf fjvgpu; Qnavry O raqf hc va bhe ernyvgl, Qnavry N va Havirefr O.

Gur cybgyvar bs Qnavry O va Havirefr N, nf ragregnvavat nf vg vf -- rfcrpvnyyl bapr V svtherq bhg gung Wnpx jnf Ncbcuvf, fb ur jnf yvxryl gb /sernx gur uryy bhg/ jura ur jnxrf hc gb svaq Wnpx jvgu Grny'p fgnaqvat oruvaq uvz -- tbg jrrqrq bhg orpnhfr, rkprcg sbe orvat na rkpryyrag vagebqhpgvba gb gur nygreangr havirefr naq gb gur Wnpx-nf-Ncbcuvf guvat, vg jnfa'g ernyyl hfrshy ng nyy. Vg jnf whfg Qnavry O tbvat "yn-qv-qnu bu url Wnpx vfa'g qrnq ohg ur nyfb qbrfa'g jnag gb or va n eryngvbafuvc fb V nz tbvat gb crfgre Fnz vagb svthevat bhg ubj gb trg zr onpx."

Vg jnf, ernyyl, gur Qnavry N va Havirefr O fgbel gung jnf n ybg zber ratntvat. Orpnhfr gurer jnf fgvyy gur "jgs vf tbvat ba" ernpgvba, ohg gura gurer jnf gur jubyr guvat nobhg svthevat bhg ubj gb xvqanc Ncbcuvf naq qr-Tbn'hyq uvz fb gung gurl pbhyq trg Wnpx onpx naq gura qrny jvgu gur snyybhg bs n Wnpx gung'f orra n Tbn'hyq ubfg naq fghss.

Ohg gur fgbel xvaq bs obvyf qbja gb guvf:

NPG V
*rkpunatr unccraf*
Qnavry (N): jgs
Bguref (O): jgs
Qnavry: bu url fb guvf vf na nygreangr ernyvgl.
Bguref: jgs
Qnavry: *rkcynvaf nygreangr ernyvgvrf*
Bguref: Bu, bx. Hz, ohg jr'er nobhg gb fraq gur obzo guebhtu fb guvf vf lbhe ynfg punapr gb erfphr Wnpx.
Qnavry: ...jnvg jung?
Bguref: *rkcynva gur Wnpx-vf-Ncbcuvf guvat*
Qnavry: Bu. Fuvg. Re. *guvaxf shevbhfyl* V unir n cyna!
Bguref: Ernyyl?
Qnavry: *qbrf abg nqzvg cyna vf Znxvat Fuvg Hc*

FPRAR VV
Qnavry: Url, V arrq gb fcrnx gb Grny'p.
Zvfp Wnssn: *zlfgrevbhfyl qb abg xvyy uvz naq vafgrnq oevat uvz gb Grny'p*
Qnavry: Ybbx, bx, guvf vf tbvat gb or uneq gb oryvrir, ohg...
Grny'p (O): *qbrf abg xvyy uvz*
Qnavry: *rkcynvaf nygreangr ernyvgvrf* Fb hz pna V unir Ncbcuvf?
Grny'p: Bxrlqbxrl.

FPRAR VVV
Qnavry: Url V arrq gb fcrnx jvgu gur Gbx'en.
Zvfp Gbx'en: *gnxr uvz gb Znegbhs*
Qnavry: Ybbx, bx, guvf vf tbvat gb or uneq gb oryvrir, ohg...
Znegbhs (O): *cbxre snpr* Lbh ner abg gur fnzr Qnavry.
Qnavry: Re jung? Naljnl. *rkcynvaf nygreangr ernyvgvrf* Fb hz pna V obeebj lbhe qr-flzovbgvat znpuvar guvathz?
Znegbhs: Bxrlqbxrl. Jubbcf, jr 'nppvqragnyyl' xvyyrq gur flzovbgr, ohg Wnpx'f bxnl.
Qnavry: Re. Fbeel nobhg gung, Grny'p, Ncbcuvf xvaq bs qvqa'g znxr vg.
Grny'p: Bxrlqbxrl.

FPRAR VI
Wnpx (O): Zl yvsr xvaq bs fhpxf ohg ng yrnfg V'z abg Ncbcuvf nal zber. Naq url, ybbx, vg'f Qnavry.
Qnavry: Re.
Wnpx: Jung?
Qnavry: *rkcynvaf nygreangr ernyvgvrf*
Wnpx: Bu. Penc.
Fgbel: *qbrf abg unir na raqvat*

Gurer ner gjb tynevat synjf va gur fgbel nf vg fgnaqf. Bar, bs pbhefr, vf gung gur punenpgref va gur O havirefr unir yvggyr gb ab ernfba gb tb nybat jvgu Qnavry'f cynaf.

Gur bgure vf gung vg vf /fb sernxvat erqhaqnag/. Yvxr, Qnavry unf gb rkcynva gur nygreangr ernyvgl pbaprcg /ubj/ znal gvzrf? Naq. Whfg. Gurer ner bayl fb znal jnlf gb jevgr gung.

(Naq lrf, V xabj vg qbrfa'g arrq gb or n shyy rkcynangvba rnpu gvzr, ohg rira whfg gur npgvba vf zvaq-ahzovatyl qhyy. Rfcrpvnyyl jura lbh svther va gur jubyr "rkcynvavat nygreangr ernyvgvrf unf orra (bire)qbar va pnaba" guvat...)

And the other thing on my plate is remix_redux. Which, idk, it started okay -- I found a story that I wanted to remix, and had bits of the remixing thrown at me, so it's about half done.

Except now I'm going "ack" because it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough. Because ... okay, the last remix I did was gateverse_remix in 2007, and ... I took the basic story, threw in a bit of POV tweaking (one the whole way through instead of the fluidity of the original) and a different thematic focus (sound instead of sight), and wrote scenes that played off of the ones in the original, so that each fic stands alone but they also intertwine and play off each other.

I was damn proud of the way that came out.

And the fic that I *got* was one that took a short piece and expanded it out, taking the consequences before and after, exploring things that I hadn't thought to think. The 'original' scene is in there, summarized in five sentences out of many, but there's so much more to it.

...the remix_redux thing? basically boils down to "the scenes described in the original fic but from a different POV."

And it feels hollow. Like it isn't really remixy enough. Like I should be adding something, and I'm not. Like all I'm doing is retelling the story as it is, and why would anyone want to read that.

Except I can't think of anything to add.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

Is that a request for a remix beta? If so, and assuming you're not remixing me, I'm happy to volunteer.

[kristin]

Hmmm. When I was looking for a way to remix (I am actually working on mine at this very moment) I actually had a list of things I could tweak which I went through: tense, pov, tone, structure, timing and style. Maybe you could figure out one of those aspects you could tweak?

[jmtorres]

i heart your dorkness. And clearly it should become a "came to Chicago for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture" explanation.

uQEXyRhzuHCdLUl

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for sharing. Always good to find a real eexprt.