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ysobeli. At the moment I am comfy; cold grey rainy outside + snoozy critters inside + hoodie + hot tea = win. But I have rehearsal tonight, 4-9 with dinner break, that kinda ruins things.
ii. Considering not doing chorus next quarter -- I'm not thrilled about the repertoire, and the stress seems to be far outweighing the fun.
ii.b. Kinda scared about becoming a complete hermit though.
iii. Nothing is coming for my Yuletide assignment. I want to default (and maybe write treats, if I can, to appease my conscience) but I feel guilty, because breaking commitments is bad.
iv. I am hesitant about signing up for fandom_stocking for similar reasons -- I am unlikely to be able to contribute anything of significance, and it feels wrong to take without giving.
iv.b. Ditto wishlist meme.
v. Johanna Basford's coloring books are incredible and intricate and glorious and I am totally in love. A little bit intimidated because Zomg What If I Make A Mistake but I will get over that.
vi. I hate how slow and awkward typing is for me -- this entry took 30 minutes to type -- but I still don't have a good dictation system set up.
vii. I seem to have permanent residence in the Pit of Existential Despair. At least it's sorta sheltered down here?
viii. I also keep feeling an urge to apologize to various people, including y'all, for being such a crappy (and bad-with-communicating) friend. Except an apology isn't enough and I don't have spoons for more
ix. Also my executive function is massively sucking right now. If executive function is like a bike chain, I'm not just in the wrong gear (where making the wheels turn takes significant effort), the chain's totally off in places. Doesn't matter how much I push the pedals, the bike's going nowhere.
ix.b. It is very hard to phrase that as a problem with executive function and not personal laziness
x. Brainweasels suck.
ii. Considering not doing chorus next quarter -- I'm not thrilled about the repertoire, and the stress seems to be far outweighing the fun.
ii.b. Kinda scared about becoming a complete hermit though.
iii. Nothing is coming for my Yuletide assignment. I want to default (and maybe write treats, if I can, to appease my conscience) but I feel guilty, because breaking commitments is bad.
iv. I am hesitant about signing up for fandom_stocking for similar reasons -- I am unlikely to be able to contribute anything of significance, and it feels wrong to take without giving.
iv.b. Ditto wishlist meme.
v. Johanna Basford's coloring books are incredible and intricate and glorious and I am totally in love. A little bit intimidated because Zomg What If I Make A Mistake but I will get over that.
vi. I hate how slow and awkward typing is for me -- this entry took 30 minutes to type -- but I still don't have a good dictation system set up.
vii. I seem to have permanent residence in the Pit of Existential Despair. At least it's sorta sheltered down here?
viii. I also keep feeling an urge to apologize to various people, including y'all, for being such a crappy (and bad-with-communicating) friend. Except an apology isn't enough and I don't have spoons for more
ix. Also my executive function is massively sucking right now. If executive function is like a bike chain, I'm not just in the wrong gear (where making the wheels turn takes significant effort), the chain's totally off in places. Doesn't matter how much I push the pedals, the bike's going nowhere.
ix.b. It is very hard to phrase that as a problem with executive function and not personal laziness
x. Brainweasels suck.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-03 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-03 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-04 01:10 am (UTC)fwiw, the town where you are can be fairly bleak in the winter. Not sure whether that helps or not, but it's still true.
(we're still on course to move there in the coming year. not certain exactly when though.)
no subject
Date: 2015-12-04 03:33 am (UTC)I'm of the belief that stress outweighing fun is a good reason to bail or take a break.
Anecdote that might be helpful: I considering defaulting last year, tried pushing onwards, then defaulted past the no-fault deadline; and strongly wish I'd defaulted earlier. So.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-04 06:49 am (UTC)