(no subject)

[ysobel]

I - a poem

my bed smells of me
but more of pee and despair
this is my life now

II - not a poem

Right now I have one aide working three shifts and one aide doing everyfuckingthing else.

I am trying to find more.

I have been trying for a month.

I have done all of two interviews. One was scheduled to show up that night to watch the procedure, and just ghosted. The other watched and got some training and ... then texted me that she'd found a job closer to her and she was very sorry and also very grateful to me for having given her the opportunity.

III - an unrelated realization; or, the accidental diet

Content warning: eating patterns and diets and stuff.

I was complaining to a friend the other day that i was frustrated at myself for getting hungry after I go to bed. It's not like I don't eat dinner -- it's just that it never ends up lasting me through the night the way it does for normal people.

She pointed out two flaws in my reasoning.

One, normal people /do/ get hungry at night. It's why midnight snacks are a thing.

Two, I'm in bed a lot longer than normal. Even if I had a full contingent of caregivers, my tailbone gets sore after sitting up for hours, so I go to bed early -- not to sleep early, because iPad, but lying down is more comfortable. And with the current thing of being short-staffed, I average 16 hours in bed. So yes, I have dinner ... at 5:30 ... and then spend up to four hours *on average*, sometimes as many as eight if I have insomnia issues, awake in bed.

So not only is it a no-shit-Sherlock that I get hungry, she pointed out that I'm essentially doing intermittent fasting.

...well, fuck me...

IV - a poem written by my smoke detector

beep beep beep beep beep
no (beep) smoke (beep) just good fun
beep beep beep beep beep

Comments

[kaberett]

<3

Yipes

[jesse_the_k]

...no wonder you’re hungry!

(My icon is rating your smoke detector’s poetic powers.)

[ephemera]

*hand squeezes*

[spoke]

*hugs*

[shannnon_foraker]

I don't know about your situation, but could you maybe put something liquid with calories in your hanging water bottle, if you need the calories, because you are hungry? That is, if you can still get the bite valve in your mouth.