(no subject)

[ysobel]

This has probably been done already, but.

I kind of want to write a story where ... er, CW religion and religiously-motivated bigotry


...where someone dies and goes to ... pretty much what he imagined heaven would look like, with an entrance lobby all shining white marble and ostentatious gold and harp music playing from some unseen source, and a very proper looking receptionist gets him checked in, and asks him why he thinks he deserves entrance, and he goes on this thing about how he went to church every Sunday and fought hard for morality, only it's the homophobic white-supremacist forced-birth silent-subservient-women bootstrappy sort of morality that some people who call themselves Christian obsess with. And the receptionist makes a note and goes "very good, sir," and he preens at the praise and asks if he gets to live with his family, and the receptionist checks and says that his son won't be admitted (and the guy says "well, i should hope not; I tried to beat the faggot out of him, get him to man up, as God is my witness I tried my hardest, but some folk, they just succumb to sin," and the receptionist murmurs "indeed, sir," and maybe something about God witnessing all things

anyway, he gets checked in and there's an endless buffet of amazing food, and there's a golf course, and all sorts of amazing things. But the people he interacts with are very empty and almost robotic, and they just smile and say the same inane meaningless small talk, and agree with everything he says (even if it's openly wrong or self contradictory) so he goes back to the receptionist and demands to know where everyone is, and the receptionist says "i don't understand", and he goes "this place is supposed to be teeming with people," and the receptionist says "it is; have you not had company?" and the guy explodes that they're just fakes or something, not real people, and surely he's not the only one who qualified for heaven. The receptionist says "ah, I see," and explains that heaven is very selective about the type of person it lets in, and the guy says "but i can't be the only one here," and the receptionist says "this is a very large place, sir; infinite, if you will; but if you find the simulations distracting, they can be removed from your experience"

and the guy angrily says "get rid of all the simulations"

and everyone disappears including the receptionist

and something something something he spends a lot of time being alone and increasingly miserable and maybe hallucinating

and finally there's a visitor, and it's his son, looking strong and confident and literally glowing, and he says "hi dad", and the guy blusters about how his sort aren't allowed in here

and the son looks at him with -- not fear any more, just a kind of sadness -- and says that God gives everyone a chance to repent

and the guy says ... I don't know what, something disparaging

and the son says quietly "no, dad, *you* need to repent"

and the guy splutters with disbelief and says "I don't need to, I'm already in heaven"

and the son says "are you?", and he says "--I never stopped loving you, dad, even when you didn't deserve it. This -- my visit here -- I petitioned God to let me come, to see if I could bring you home." and he holds out his hand

and the guy calls him a fucking liar, among other names, and tells him to get out

and the son sighs and says "as you wish", and turns to leave

and the guy, in the middle of crowing to himself about how his son finally did what he told him to, notices that as he walks away there's a shimmer in the air around him, almost like wings

and then he's alone

Comments

[alexseanchai]

oooooh

[jeshyr]

Excellent not-fic :)

[azurelunatic]

Yes

A similar concept - in some ways

[nodrog]

- was an idea I had some months ago:

  Blessed Gardens of Tlaloc the Rain God:  Admit One


I like the idea that even a Celestial Bureaucracy makes mistakes, and so some Bible-TV-watching Southern Baptist who thinks that Jesus spoke English passes on to his Eternal Reward, hallelujah, ay-men…  and finds himself wearing a linen kilt, shoulder-cloth and black wig in a boat made of bound reeds, with a heavily ‘painted’ and very underdressed young girl nestled in one arm and a pottery jar of beer and throwing stick ready to hand, while waterfowl wheel and dive into the blue Nile waters…  Oops!

[Yet strangely, by the time the mistake is discovered and the Adjuster swings low in his sweet chariot to carry him to Fluffy Cloud Heaven to sing hosannas, the muscular, sun-bronzed young Bubba-ho-tep, who'd played football in high school, says, “Uhhmm…  No, thanks, I’m good…  ’Bye…”]


Stood there boldly
Sweatin' in the sun
Felt like a million
Felt like number one
The height of summer
I'd never felt that strong
Like a rock

I was eighteen
Didn't have a care…
But I was lean and
Solid everywhere
Like a rock…

[babs_bee]

Okay--I am sitting here crying reading this. Because you've totally got the right message!

Of course I'm one of those pesky ELCA Lutherans.

[silveradept]

I think that's a story worth writing, whenever anyone gets around to it. And would love for it to be one of those "I died and went to heaven and then came back to earth" stories, as well.