A decade is a very long time
Dec. 31st, 2009 10:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelTen years ago, I had graduated college -- something I still feel I did not earn, although I gather that feelings of guilt and fraudness are common among Stanford students -- and was trying to find a job.
Ten years ago, I could take care of myself well enough; I was beyond a doubt disabled, couldn't walk more than a few steps, couldn't straighten my limbs or turn my head, but it was all managable.
Ten years ago, I thought I was good enough to be a Proper Writer.
Ten years ago, I had mild depression, but it wasn't sigma yet, and I thought things were going to turn out okay.
#
Ten years ago, I did not havejmtorres flailswearing on my couch about a Sherlock Holmes vidbunny someone ever so kindly gave her.
Ten years ago, I did not have ajmtorres at all.
Ten years ago, I didn't have LJ, or DW (♥), nor the awesome incredible network of friends, fannish and otherwise, that I have now. (Okay, some of you I've known for more than ten years, but not *all* of you.)
Ten years ago, I had no clue what my life would actually be like now; and it's better in places than I could have dreamed, and worse in places than I could have dreamed.
#
What, then, for tomorrow?
Maybe I will lose some things I have (possibly some of which I will be better off without). Maybe I will find some things I've lost (and also some things I don't know yet that I've lost). Maybe I will do things I regret, and not-do things I regret not doing, and maybe I will do things I enjoy, and maybe I will find what it is I'm "supposed" to be doing.
Or maybe not.
Ten years ago, I could take care of myself well enough; I was beyond a doubt disabled, couldn't walk more than a few steps, couldn't straighten my limbs or turn my head, but it was all managable.
Ten years ago, I thought I was good enough to be a Proper Writer.
Ten years ago, I had mild depression, but it wasn't sigma yet, and I thought things were going to turn out okay.
#
Ten years ago, I did not have
jmtorres flailswearing on my couch about a Sherlock Holmes vidbunny someone ever so kindly gave her.Ten years ago, I did not have a
jmtorres at all.Ten years ago, I didn't have LJ, or DW (♥), nor the awesome incredible network of friends, fannish and otherwise, that I have now. (Okay, some of you I've known for more than ten years, but not *all* of you.)
Ten years ago, I had no clue what my life would actually be like now; and it's better in places than I could have dreamed, and worse in places than I could have dreamed.
#
What, then, for tomorrow?
Maybe I will lose some things I have (possibly some of which I will be better off without). Maybe I will find some things I've lost (and also some things I don't know yet that I've lost). Maybe I will do things I regret, and not-do things I regret not doing, and maybe I will do things I enjoy, and maybe I will find what it is I'm "supposed" to be doing.
Or maybe not.
