um.

[ysobel]

Given the way I am feeling, I have impending a) period and b) possibly some sort of illness or infection; but anyway, I am exhausted and mopey and crying at the drop of a hat, and I also have lots of self-frustrations and stuff, and negative spoons, and sigma is being obnoxious as depression-demons tend to be.

So, um.

I need a little help.

Tell me something nice about me? or tell me why you still read my pile of emo whinings journal? or, er, something? that might cheer me up? or make me feel better about myself? ...pretty please? Anon comments are screened by default [ETA also, enabled now *headdesk*] if you want privacy.

(I know that what has to change is the way /I/ see myself, but it's sometimes nice to get external lifelines.)

Comments

[exor674]

I read your pile of emo whinings journal because if I could write down what I'm feeling most of the time, it'd be way worse! but I'm supposed to cheer you up so... (eta: that sounds wrong -- I just mean that your journal, as you called it, being a pile of emo writings doesn't BUG me because...)

If I lived anywhere close to you, I'd so hang out A LOT if you wanted!

Oh, and have one of these: http://pics.livejournal.com/exor674/pic/0000xhcz

:-)

[elke_tanzer]

Well, I can tell you a couple of things that have been captivating me over the past few months in some of your posts... I never know quite how to comment about them, which is why I'm probably coming across as a lurky lurky thing, sorry!

When you talk about your rehearsals, sometimes you kind of glow. That you make music is an inspirational thing to me, something very outside my own recent experience, and it's amazing to read about.

When you talk about your videogames, you show me a world very different from my own. I don't play WoW or anything like it, and so it's always this very neat thing to suddenly be reading posts wherein without context or preamble you are suddenly talking about instacasting and gear and quests and shamans and the blacksmithing of mysterious metals I have never heard of before.

:-D

[mimesere]

*cuddles* 'cause you're my ewok.

[synecdochic]

No matter how crappy a day you are having, you have never once failed to be tremendously supportive, encouraging, and loving when I am stressed, overwhelmed, or need a hug. You have no idea how much I value your presence in my life because of this.

Also, and this is probably going to come out wrong? But, like, the fact that we share the disabled identity, even though things are not alike in kind or in degree, means that I feel a fuck of a lot more comfortable in whining to you about the small annoyances of disabled life, because I know that a) you will not judge, b) you will sympathize; c) you will understand. And that is an incredibly valuable fact to me, and I keep reminding myself to tell you about it, and I keep forgetting.

Okay so this is not limited to your journal. Sue me. *g*

[melissima]

/hugs/

A) Tea.

B) Giles.

C) Awesome classical music that you actually *sing*. I can't even.../flails/.

D) Eye rolling, whether it's at parents, or stupid ablist parking tricks or even our own personal cackling mad scientist. You can say more with an eyebrow than most people do with their whole face.

E) Tea.

F) Cows with Guns.

I'm so grateful we found each other!

<3

[merryish]

I don't know! I just like you. *HUG* You seem cool, and you talk about WoW and almost nobody else does, and you're interesting! I never just click past your posts, because they always make me think or make me say "huh" or "seriously!" or "nifty!" I can't explain things like this particularly well but right now I'm just very glad you're around. =)

[princessofgeeks]

I believe I friended you in the blur of OHAI new DW people, and I enjoy reading your posts because you are funny, articulate, thoughtful, resolute, and the inside of your brain is a fascinating place.

i like hearing about your adventures with music, and while I don't knit i have a kind of yearning about it. i used to crochet, back in the dark ages.

i feel that i am part of your virtual community.

as i am not disabled i feel it would be very presumptuous and "me me me" of me to say anything about that. but i enjoy your posts very much.

i do know something about depression, though. i'm glad you know we're here and i hope that is a good thing for you. sometimes i don't know what to say so i don't comment. but i'm reading and i'm here.

hope you have a good day today.

[chibiaingeal]

My dear friend, I just want to tell you that I love you and I think you are awesome and so brave to be so open about your struggles. *HUGS*

[azurelunatic]

You are within my circle of friends-and-acquaintances, and I salute a fellow person attempting to sock depression one in the eye.

[rainbow]

i love hearing about your adventures, especially how passionately you talk about your music. i get excited for you when you squee sabout things, and love reading those posts. and i always want to hug and pet you when you are having sigma and frustration with disability issues, because i sympathise so much with them.

you make me smile often, and i value that very much.

~c

[dingsi]

I don't feel like I can express myself very well, but I want to say that I don't find your posts boring or whiny, and that you have a great way with words, to always convey your thoughts and feelings in a manner that makes them easy to understand. Also, I sympathise re: depression and I learned a lot from you about disability issues and ableism.

[greenbirds]

You are awesome, and your music squee makes me *so happy* you don't even know. I totally miss choir, even the Saturday Rehearsals of Death. :P

[cadenzamuse]

I have some brain-thingies that are probably close cousins of sigma and Bob, and when I'm in the midst of them, it helps to know I'm not the only one. Somehow it gives me hope. Plus, I don't actually have queer Christian girls in my real life support network, and I need that so much om-freaking-g.

[disastrously]

I read you because I absolutely adore you, "whinings" (In quotes because I have seen no whining) and all.