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ysobelMy new morning aide has been driving me crazy. Inane levels of chatter (because donchaknow it's /rude/ for two people to be in a room and not be conversating), obsessions about how fat she is (and Biggest Loser seems to be the only tv show she watches, or at least the only one she talks about), and a complete lack of brain (why yes, in this household we wash our hands between taking out the garbage and dealing with the toaster).
This morning was just ... arghflail.
First of all, she comes in with her nails painted. They're fairly obviously a home job, and they're this /utterly hideous/ orange color, with white tips; way too obnoxious for my tastes but I don't say anything because, hey, whatever floats her boat. Even though they clash with her shirt, which has red in it.
Anyway. It comes out, during the course of her (somewhat one sided) "conversation", that her fiance had painted her nails for her. She launched into a rant about how if you have them professionally done, it's so much for the nails, and that much more for the french tips, and then you add in tip, and it comes to about $30, and "that's $30 too much". Entitled much?
(she was also complaining about how "they", being the people who work at nail salons, speak vietnamese ("I think; all those languages sound the same") and chatter with each other instead of with the customer (which in her eyes is a mortal sin; two people Can Not be in the same room and not have Conversation), even though they obviously can speak English, blah blah blah. I didn't throw things at her. I kind of wanted to.)
And then she started laughing as she relayed an anecdote about how her fiance, who was the one who'd done her nails for her, had painted his thumbnail to test out the color before doing it on her; and she didn't (couldn't or wouldn't or something, I'm not sure how much of it was volition and how much was "I don't have any"/"I don't know where it is") tell him where the nail polish remover was so he had to go into work with one "red" thumb, omg how embarrassing etc. And she found this /utterly fucking hysterical/, and I was just like ... wtf, this is your fiance, who did something for you for free, and you're laughing because he got screwed over?
And apparently he'd forgotten his wallet, and she suspects that the distraction of one painted nail was part of why he didn't notice it. Again she found this utterly hysterical, and could barely talk for laughing. I am somewhat glad I'm not physically able to punch people, because omg.
...Anyway. So she started taking my nightshirt off, and was (unintentionally) pulling my hair -- the disadvantage to long hair is that it is very easy to get pulled -- and so I said something about don't pull my hair, or something along those lines. I forgot to say please, but I wasn't awake and I was also still cranky.
"What?" she said, the I-didn't-hear-what-you-said sort of what, while blithely continuing to do what she was doing. (She has a tendency to do this. It drives me batshit. Or she'll ask "Do you want me to do X?" as she starts doing X without even waiting for me to process the question, let alone answer.) I repeated it. She said that she didn't do it on purpose. I told her that I hadn't said she /had/, the point wasn't about intent, but about the fact that my hair was being pulled. (Not quite those words, but I don't remember exactly what I said. It was along those lines. I wasn't blaming her, I was informing her) And that I was just letting her know what was happening. She paused for a second and then said, "Okay: 'I'm sorry'," but it was the sort of apology that isn't really sincere-sounding. The sort that you get from five-year-olds when their mom makes them say sorry and they repeat the words in a sulky voice and obviously don't mean it. And then she followed it up with a slightly smug "You can't debate that!"
Wtffffff. I wasn't /debating/ anything. I was trying to communicate what was happening. Cue me getting more stabbity.
And of course all this is happening in the morning, when I'm not fully awake -- it usually takes me a while to fully wake up, especially verbal and auditory processing -- which makes the frustration a bazillion times worse to deal with.
Mrrr.
On the amusing side, I have discovered that rot13.com is an excellent way of leaving cryptic notes to self. I wanted to jot down the various morning annoyances before I forgot them, but my computer screen is big enough that if I just typed it and let it sit there, there was a chance she would see it. (Possibly not intentionally, but even if I'm cranky with someone it's not good form to have a wtf-laden rant sitting about where they can see it easily.) So I typed in notes, and then clicked cypher, and voila! I don't even think she knows what rot13 is, let alone how to translate it, so all that was up on the screen was a bunch of gibberish. Some of which came bizarrely close to the Eye of Argon naming scheme. (For fun I rot13ed 'Grignr' to see if it was something normal. It wasn't, but at least it had more vowels.)
This morning was just ... arghflail.
First of all, she comes in with her nails painted. They're fairly obviously a home job, and they're this /utterly hideous/ orange color, with white tips; way too obnoxious for my tastes but I don't say anything because, hey, whatever floats her boat. Even though they clash with her shirt, which has red in it.
Anyway. It comes out, during the course of her (somewhat one sided) "conversation", that her fiance had painted her nails for her. She launched into a rant about how if you have them professionally done, it's so much for the nails, and that much more for the french tips, and then you add in tip, and it comes to about $30, and "that's $30 too much". Entitled much?
(she was also complaining about how "they", being the people who work at nail salons, speak vietnamese ("I think; all those languages sound the same") and chatter with each other instead of with the customer (which in her eyes is a mortal sin; two people Can Not be in the same room and not have Conversation), even though they obviously can speak English, blah blah blah. I didn't throw things at her. I kind of wanted to.)
And then she started laughing as she relayed an anecdote about how her fiance, who was the one who'd done her nails for her, had painted his thumbnail to test out the color before doing it on her; and she didn't (couldn't or wouldn't or something, I'm not sure how much of it was volition and how much was "I don't have any"/"I don't know where it is") tell him where the nail polish remover was so he had to go into work with one "red" thumb, omg how embarrassing etc. And she found this /utterly fucking hysterical/, and I was just like ... wtf, this is your fiance, who did something for you for free, and you're laughing because he got screwed over?
And apparently he'd forgotten his wallet, and she suspects that the distraction of one painted nail was part of why he didn't notice it. Again she found this utterly hysterical, and could barely talk for laughing. I am somewhat glad I'm not physically able to punch people, because omg.
...Anyway. So she started taking my nightshirt off, and was (unintentionally) pulling my hair -- the disadvantage to long hair is that it is very easy to get pulled -- and so I said something about don't pull my hair, or something along those lines. I forgot to say please, but I wasn't awake and I was also still cranky.
"What?" she said, the I-didn't-hear-what-you-said sort of what, while blithely continuing to do what she was doing. (She has a tendency to do this. It drives me batshit. Or she'll ask "Do you want me to do X?" as she starts doing X without even waiting for me to process the question, let alone answer.) I repeated it. She said that she didn't do it on purpose. I told her that I hadn't said she /had/, the point wasn't about intent, but about the fact that my hair was being pulled. (Not quite those words, but I don't remember exactly what I said. It was along those lines. I wasn't blaming her, I was informing her) And that I was just letting her know what was happening. She paused for a second and then said, "Okay: 'I'm sorry'," but it was the sort of apology that isn't really sincere-sounding. The sort that you get from five-year-olds when their mom makes them say sorry and they repeat the words in a sulky voice and obviously don't mean it. And then she followed it up with a slightly smug "You can't debate that!"
Wtffffff. I wasn't /debating/ anything. I was trying to communicate what was happening. Cue me getting more stabbity.
And of course all this is happening in the morning, when I'm not fully awake -- it usually takes me a while to fully wake up, especially verbal and auditory processing -- which makes the frustration a bazillion times worse to deal with.
Mrrr.
On the amusing side, I have discovered that rot13.com is an excellent way of leaving cryptic notes to self. I wanted to jot down the various morning annoyances before I forgot them, but my computer screen is big enough that if I just typed it and let it sit there, there was a chance she would see it. (Possibly not intentionally, but even if I'm cranky with someone it's not good form to have a wtf-laden rant sitting about where they can see it easily.) So I typed in notes, and then clicked cypher, and voila! I don't even think she knows what rot13 is, let alone how to translate it, so all that was up on the screen was a bunch of gibberish. Some of which came bizarrely close to the Eye of Argon naming scheme. (For fun I rot13ed 'Grignr' to see if it was something normal. It wasn't, but at least it had more vowels.)
no subject
Date: 2010-05-20 07:35 pm (UTC)Point the Second: Various of us have written entire entries in ROT13. We love it. <3333
no subject
Date: 2010-05-20 08:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-20 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-20 08:13 pm (UTC)*kind of wants to hug this woman's poor fiance*
*sends stabbity thoughts at your aide* She is like Princess Cluelesspants of WTF, jeez. -_-
I hear you on the morning thing.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-20 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-22 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-22 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-22 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-22 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 02:53 am (UTC)What with all the conversation, she seems to have forgotten that you're paying her to pay attention to you and your needs!
stab stab stab.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 04:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 06:59 am (UTC)QFT