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Oct. 17th, 2010 07:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelSo, okay, this pooping thing is normal and natural and all that. Animals do it, babies do it, other adults do it. It's not like my body is doing anything weird and unnatural with it, and I get that.
It's just.
I mean, for one thing, adults are supposed to be able to wipe their own butts etc. And generally adults are not expected to wipe other peoples' butts for them. Is why one of the insults used by the French knights in Monty Python and the Holy Grail ("You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!) is an insult, after all.
And it's messy and embarrassing and shit (pun intended).
I mean, think of the last bowel movement you had. Or better, the last super messy one. The sort that feels like it takes a roll of toilet paper before you get clean. Kinda sucks, but hey, at least it's your own poop.
Now think of doing the pooping with someone else watching, and then having them do all the wiping, which is awkward because it's someone else and they don't have the sensory feedback that you do when you're doing it yourself. And you're standing up the entire time, in a very awkward position that you can't hold for more than about a minute before you have to sit down, and each time you sit and rest and stand again you have a bit less endurance.
...now imagine, on top of that, that you can NEVER just go to the bathroom when your bowels decide to move. You realize you have to poop, and at best you only have to wait fifteen minutes or so for the person helping you to get there, and often it's a matter of several hours, never mind how urgent your bowels think the situation is.
And imagine, on top of that, that there are different people that help you depending on what time of day it is, and that some of them can't get you completely clean no matter how many times you tell them to start wiping farther forward, farther in, farther up -- so you have to choose between pooping, and being not-fully-wiped for hours (or, on alternate weekends, days), or trying to hold it in until one of the people who can get you clean is on duty.
And imagine, on top of that, that if your bowels are being DONOTWANTy enough, "holding it in" isn't entirely successful, so small amounts of poop can seep out, and because you're sitting all the time and also leaning slightly back, the pressures in your butt region tend to push said poop residue forward, more into the vagina. Which then has to also be cleaned up. Carefully, but thoroughly. Which, again, is something that is not available all of the time or even most of the time.
...why yes, this post might have something to do with the fact that I am sitting here with very insistently DNW bowels, and a poopy vagina, and an on-call aide that is not one of the good-with-poop ones that I am not calling because the one who is technically off duty will be coming by to get her timesheet signed and I am hoping I can wheedle her into helping.
(probably more than you ever wanted to know about me, but hey, that's what journals are for, right, sharing the messy inner parts of you? ;)
ETA in case anyone cares: have been de-poopified, both internally (my digestive system was SERIOUSLY not happy, idek) and externally (including the bit that dropped on my shoe), and am feeling a bit less cranky overall. and a lot less uncomfortable.
It's just.
I mean, for one thing, adults are supposed to be able to wipe their own butts etc. And generally adults are not expected to wipe other peoples' butts for them. Is why one of the insults used by the French knights in Monty Python and the Holy Grail ("You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!) is an insult, after all.
And it's messy and embarrassing and shit (pun intended).
I mean, think of the last bowel movement you had. Or better, the last super messy one. The sort that feels like it takes a roll of toilet paper before you get clean. Kinda sucks, but hey, at least it's your own poop.
Now think of doing the pooping with someone else watching, and then having them do all the wiping, which is awkward because it's someone else and they don't have the sensory feedback that you do when you're doing it yourself. And you're standing up the entire time, in a very awkward position that you can't hold for more than about a minute before you have to sit down, and each time you sit and rest and stand again you have a bit less endurance.
...now imagine, on top of that, that you can NEVER just go to the bathroom when your bowels decide to move. You realize you have to poop, and at best you only have to wait fifteen minutes or so for the person helping you to get there, and often it's a matter of several hours, never mind how urgent your bowels think the situation is.
And imagine, on top of that, that there are different people that help you depending on what time of day it is, and that some of them can't get you completely clean no matter how many times you tell them to start wiping farther forward, farther in, farther up -- so you have to choose between pooping, and being not-fully-wiped for hours (or, on alternate weekends, days), or trying to hold it in until one of the people who can get you clean is on duty.
And imagine, on top of that, that if your bowels are being DONOTWANTy enough, "holding it in" isn't entirely successful, so small amounts of poop can seep out, and because you're sitting all the time and also leaning slightly back, the pressures in your butt region tend to push said poop residue forward, more into the vagina. Which then has to also be cleaned up. Carefully, but thoroughly. Which, again, is something that is not available all of the time or even most of the time.
...why yes, this post might have something to do with the fact that I am sitting here with very insistently DNW bowels, and a poopy vagina, and an on-call aide that is not one of the good-with-poop ones that I am not calling because the one who is technically off duty will be coming by to get her timesheet signed and I am hoping I can wheedle her into helping.
(probably more than you ever wanted to know about me, but hey, that's what journals are for, right, sharing the messy inner parts of you? ;)
ETA in case anyone cares: have been de-poopified, both internally (my digestive system was SERIOUSLY not happy, idek) and externally (including the bit that dropped on my shoe), and am feeling a bit less cranky overall. and a lot less uncomfortable.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-18 03:04 am (UTC)Also, I think this is something most of us humans are going to have to deal with if we get to stick around long enough--or sooner for some of us with IBS--and so we might as well get over talking about it. A good friend of mine has spinal bifida and so I'm used to poopy tales. (And poopy tails. *eyes dogs*) I have IBS and I'm on meds that mess with my insides, so, yeah. Some of my days revolve around poop. It's poopy.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-18 05:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-18 05:34 am (UTC)yeah, it's really no fun at all needing help with cleaning up afterwards :(
no subject
Date: 2010-10-18 07:46 am (UTC)For what it's worth, I'm glad you are depoopified.
*Hugs you tightly*