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--just keep swimming--
Dec. 2nd, 2011 01:45 pmI don't think the ZOMGDOG thing has sunk in yet. Rationally I know that I leave Sunday night for training, that I'll be gone two weeks, that I'll come home with a service dog, etc.
But emotionally? It doesn't seem real. I've waited for so long, and the turnaround on this has been so short. I'm excited, but half the time it feels like other people are more excited than I am. I'm afraid to think of it as real until it actually is; so many panicky thoughts of what could go wrong (what if I get there and they decide I'm too disabled / too depressed / something to manage a dog? what if I flunk the quizzes and stuff? what if all the dogs hate me? what if I am too timid to lead a dog? what if what if what if) and I don't even know what.
#
I will be pretty much out of contact for the next two weeks. Not entirely -- I will have email access, though I doubt I'll have time to check it during the daytime training sessions; I will probably be posting here at least occasionally -- but I won't be keeping up with my flist at all.
I also need to figure out what to do about the fic exchanges that I'm in, yuletide et al, because this is eating a lot of the writing time I have. Not all of it, but it might be saner to default early, especially since I am going to be a) utterly exhausted and b) kind of dog-obsessed, by the time I get back.
(Flail.)
#
DOG. DOGDOGDOGDOGDOGDOGDOG.
But emotionally? It doesn't seem real. I've waited for so long, and the turnaround on this has been so short. I'm excited, but half the time it feels like other people are more excited than I am. I'm afraid to think of it as real until it actually is; so many panicky thoughts of what could go wrong (what if I get there and they decide I'm too disabled / too depressed / something to manage a dog? what if I flunk the quizzes and stuff? what if all the dogs hate me? what if I am too timid to lead a dog? what if what if what if) and I don't even know what.
#
I will be pretty much out of contact for the next two weeks. Not entirely -- I will have email access, though I doubt I'll have time to check it during the daytime training sessions; I will probably be posting here at least occasionally -- but I won't be keeping up with my flist at all.
I also need to figure out what to do about the fic exchanges that I'm in, yuletide et al, because this is eating a lot of the writing time I have. Not all of it, but it might be saner to default early, especially since I am going to be a) utterly exhausted and b) kind of dog-obsessed, by the time I get back.
(Flail.)
#
DOG. DOGDOGDOGDOGDOGDOGDOG.