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May. 13th, 2013 09:01 pmWatching the 2009 Star Trek movie (nominally because of 'preparing' for Into Darkness, but really just because I love it dearly) and, dude, ALL THE FEELS. I just have this sort of incoherent flappy-handed giddiness about it (and Kirk still needs a retractable leash for his phaser), and everything about it makes me squee and it kept reminding me of all the headcanon I had for it, like the Reboot Mirrorverse and the Kirk/Sulu stuff and the Spock/Uhura stuff and Spock Prime totally shipping Kirk/Spock, and and and--
Sigh. I miss that, dammit. Miss being fannishly excited -- because what I'm feeling now comes close but it's sort of a flat echo of what was, like I'm seeing it through smoky glass, and there isn't any sort of feeling of connection -- and miss the creative output.
I still have things I want to write; there's a Spock/Uhura thing that I don't think I published because I couldn't decide whether it was half done, or done with an unwritten sequel that's really a different story; and there's a k/sp pon farr fic, also half written; and there's seeds of other things still germinating, mirrorverse stuff and k/su stuff and space jump training stuff and whatnot.
I just ... it's like I've forgotten how to words, and forgotten how to be fannish, and the best fics are fannish-inspired words and you can get to good enough with having words and you can get to good enough with fannish energy but not having either? Kind of sucks.
And I really hope Into Darkness doesn't do anything mucky with my Reboot love.
Sigh. I miss that, dammit. Miss being fannishly excited -- because what I'm feeling now comes close but it's sort of a flat echo of what was, like I'm seeing it through smoky glass, and there isn't any sort of feeling of connection -- and miss the creative output.
I still have things I want to write; there's a Spock/Uhura thing that I don't think I published because I couldn't decide whether it was half done, or done with an unwritten sequel that's really a different story; and there's a k/sp pon farr fic, also half written; and there's seeds of other things still germinating, mirrorverse stuff and k/su stuff and space jump training stuff and whatnot.
I just ... it's like I've forgotten how to words, and forgotten how to be fannish, and the best fics are fannish-inspired words and you can get to good enough with having words and you can get to good enough with fannish energy but not having either? Kind of sucks.
And I really hope Into Darkness doesn't do anything mucky with my Reboot love.