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$NUM things make a post
Jun. 24th, 2014 05:50 pm1) Had a dream last night where I was trying to pass as a man, except the clothes I was wearing were too big (like think "4 year old dressing in an adult's outfit" levels of too big), and my shirt wasn't tucked in but I was afraid that if I tried tucking it then people would see I lacked the apparently-obligatory belt that others were wearing, and it was all super awkward. I was apparently successful enough that a kid (son of someone I know at church) ran up behind me and hugged me and said "I love you daddy" before realizing I wasn't his daddy. And then I was at a meal, and my immediate family members were in attendance, and I was afraid that they would for one thing recognize me, and for another thing recognize the convolutions required for me to eat, and it was unlikely that another person with my condition would be around, so I was desperately trying to look normal, while rolling up the sleeves of the jacket I was wearing (really more of a graduation gown sort of thing) so they didn't flop over my hands. I ended up at a table with my sister (who, in the dream, recognized me but was willing to play along) and my dad (who either didn't recognize me and was curious about me, or was deliberately asking questions to try to get me to out myself), asking e.g. what my name was and what I did for a living and stuff, and I didn't have any answers and panicked and gave some name (forget the first name, but the last name was Stevens) and an occupation (technical writer for H.P. and similar companies) and was hoping he wouldn't ask too many more questions, and that's when I woke up.
Not sure what it was about; okay so there's an obviousish theme of "pretending to be competent adult and hoping no one notices who I really am" that pops up sometimes in my dreams, but I don't know what the pretending to be a man was all about.
2) Visited my mom today - she had knee replacement last Wednesday and is in a skilled nursing facility type place for a few weeks while she recovers and does PT and stuff. And the whole time I was there part of my brain was going in panicked circles because if I ever stop being able to live independently, that's the sort of place I'll end up in, and I had immediate visceral do-not-want-ness about that.
Mind, if I ever end up there I'm sure I'll cope, but in the meantime, my brain is doing panic gerbil.
3) Also I have panic gerbil brain because I decided to write up a pattern to put on Ravelry and now I am getting it test knit (especially since I can't really knit right now so I'm pretty sure the theory works out but flaaaaail. It doesn't really make me a Real Designer because I didn't really design anything -- it's sort of like taking a commonly used answer in support requests and making a FAQ out of it -- but I am still, well, gerbily.
(There is a fairly popular pattern for a dishcloth that is worked diagonally, and I've seen enough people asking how to make it rectangular that I figured I would write it up as an actual patterny thing. It's just an adaptation, but hopefully something that's useful to people.)
...apparently $NUM eq 3. Who'da guessed.
Not sure what it was about; okay so there's an obviousish theme of "pretending to be competent adult and hoping no one notices who I really am" that pops up sometimes in my dreams, but I don't know what the pretending to be a man was all about.
2) Visited my mom today - she had knee replacement last Wednesday and is in a skilled nursing facility type place for a few weeks while she recovers and does PT and stuff. And the whole time I was there part of my brain was going in panicked circles because if I ever stop being able to live independently, that's the sort of place I'll end up in, and I had immediate visceral do-not-want-ness about that.
Mind, if I ever end up there I'm sure I'll cope, but in the meantime, my brain is doing panic gerbil.
3) Also I have panic gerbil brain because I decided to write up a pattern to put on Ravelry and now I am getting it test knit (especially since I can't really knit right now so I'm pretty sure the theory works out but flaaaaail. It doesn't really make me a Real Designer because I didn't really design anything -- it's sort of like taking a commonly used answer in support requests and making a FAQ out of it -- but I am still, well, gerbily.
(There is a fairly popular pattern for a dishcloth that is worked diagonally, and I've seen enough people asking how to make it rectangular that I figured I would write it up as an actual patterny thing. It's just an adaptation, but hopefully something that's useful to people.)
...apparently $NUM eq 3. Who'da guessed.