limitations suck
Jul. 7th, 2012 01:33 pmI realized recently one of the reasons why I've been sort of obsessing over crochet in favor of other yarncraft: not only am I physically able to do it, but because I started recently (January of this year), the only crochet muscle memory I have is at my current mobility.
I had a dream a while back where someone gave me some circular knitting needles where the needle part was /absurdly/ short -- maybe an inch long -- and my first reaction was "well that's not going to work, I need longer needles", but then I tried it, and it worked, and I had this immense feeling of relief, of: hey, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be! yay!
Which, er, was great in the dream, but once I woke up, it just made me want to avoid knitting even more. Because it's bad enough to say "I used to be able to do X and can't any more", but worse to say that and then realize I can and then realize that that realization was a dream and I really can't.
I still technically can knit. It's hard and awkward and slow, but still, I can do it. But I haven't been, lately, because I can remember what it was like to knit "properly", and it frustrates me that I've lost that.
(I have had similar "oh yay my body isn't as fucked as I thought" dreams with other things. Most recently, writing with a fountain pen. A while ago, cross-stitch. Every now and then, going to the bathroom. And obviously I dream these things because the abilities I've lost bother me, but it hurts, getting back for a short time what I've lost and then losing it again.)
I had a dream a while back where someone gave me some circular knitting needles where the needle part was /absurdly/ short -- maybe an inch long -- and my first reaction was "well that's not going to work, I need longer needles", but then I tried it, and it worked, and I had this immense feeling of relief, of: hey, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be! yay!
Which, er, was great in the dream, but once I woke up, it just made me want to avoid knitting even more. Because it's bad enough to say "I used to be able to do X and can't any more", but worse to say that and then realize I can and then realize that that realization was a dream and I really can't.
I still technically can knit. It's hard and awkward and slow, but still, I can do it. But I haven't been, lately, because I can remember what it was like to knit "properly", and it frustrates me that I've lost that.
(I have had similar "oh yay my body isn't as fucked as I thought" dreams with other things. Most recently, writing with a fountain pen. A while ago, cross-stitch. Every now and then, going to the bathroom. And obviously I dream these things because the abilities I've lost bother me, but it hurts, getting back for a short time what I've lost and then losing it again.)