Bonus observation
Feb. 22nd, 2014 07:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobel...meant to post this with the last entry but forgot:
It is a hell of a lot easier for me to enforce boundaries on behalf of those in my care than for myself.
Cross my boundaries, and I tend to ... retreat, withdraw, but remain awkwardly polite.
Cross the boundaries of one of my pets? Oh hell no.
(Monkey established fairly early on the spaces she considers safe hideouts, foremostly the upper shelves in the usually-closed side of my closet. One of my PAs interacts with her a bit harrassingly, which seems to me to be his default for pets. I found myself this morning having to enforce the "leave her alone when she is in the closet" rule, without hesitating, and going on to explain that the closet was her safe space and I was not willing to compromise that by letting anyone pursue her once she's gone there.)
(It's partly pet common sense -- a cat that is not allowed a place to escape, who has no option to say "leave me alone" and have that be respected, is a cat that is more likely to attack. It's partly a matter of empathy; my PA is a lot more social and a lot less likely than I am to have experienced a need for sanctuary. And it's partly just a thing of holy fuck I can actually stand up to someone that is just mind-bogglingly unusual for me.)
It is a hell of a lot easier for me to enforce boundaries on behalf of those in my care than for myself.
Cross my boundaries, and I tend to ... retreat, withdraw, but remain awkwardly polite.
Cross the boundaries of one of my pets? Oh hell no.
(Monkey established fairly early on the spaces she considers safe hideouts, foremostly the upper shelves in the usually-closed side of my closet. One of my PAs interacts with her a bit harrassingly, which seems to me to be his default for pets. I found myself this morning having to enforce the "leave her alone when she is in the closet" rule, without hesitating, and going on to explain that the closet was her safe space and I was not willing to compromise that by letting anyone pursue her once she's gone there.)
(It's partly pet common sense -- a cat that is not allowed a place to escape, who has no option to say "leave me alone" and have that be respected, is a cat that is more likely to attack. It's partly a matter of empathy; my PA is a lot more social and a lot less likely than I am to have experienced a need for sanctuary. And it's partly just a thing of holy fuck I can actually stand up to someone that is just mind-bogglingly unusual for me.)
no subject
Date: 2014-02-23 11:09 pm (UTC)