(no subject)

[ysobel]

So I'm kind of in a bad headspace right now (in case the poem didn't give that away). Depression is hitting harder than normal, and normal for me is pretty hard anyway, so I'm ... very not okay.

One of the things it's being most vocal about is that I need to isolate. That people don't want to me around me especially when I'm on a depressive jag, that I don't deserve to be around people, that no one would notice or be bothered if I just disappeared, that I should go away and stop imposing on people who don't like me. And intellectually I know that depression is a lying liar that lies like a lying thing, but brainweasels are very good about making their lies feel real.

I can't trust my own brain right now, so I need to borrow y'all's for a while. If you like me (not in the sense of *like* like, just, idk, think I'm nifty) and are so inclined, please tell me? This is not an obligation, and I promise that I won't judge if you don't say anything -- it's not that I need you to prove our friendship (or whatever), it's thar my brain says I am a hate-worthy despicable person and right now I need points of view that are *not* that.

Comments

[azurelunatic]

I like you, I think you're nifty, and I think you can words like hell. Also, occasionally someone probably needs to use a slingshot to launch a neon-colored acrylic sock a size too small for anyone around to actually wear into your mom's mouth the second before she says something accidentally gravely hurtful, because she seems really good at doing that by accident & it's a pity that she seems to dispense brainweasel chow like it was Pez.

[vass]

You are very nifty. I like your curiosity and interest, and how you do your hobbies.

[kaberett]

Hello my own brain is being eaten enough that I don't have many words, but I do like you and having you around.

[james]

I like you! And I can totally understand when it seems like what your brain is saying to you is more "real" or true than what things on the outside are trying to indicate, so you don't have to apologise for needing to hear reassurances.

You are NOT hate-worthy! You are not despicable, you are a good, nice person who is hurting. Just breathe until your brain feels better.

[princessofgeeks]

I like you! I especially like reading your posts about music and writing.

Thank you for being here.

[killing_rose]

I like you a lot. If you need someone to poke you and natter, I am always around on IM at firegoddess666 @ gmail.com

[weaver]

I think you are very cool. I think you're great and I would like to one day meet you for tea/coffee/beverage of your choice and chatter about books and computer games.

[burnishedvictory]

I like you and think you're awesome!

[zhelana]

I think you're nifty :)

[highlander_ii]

I like you! You intro'd me to Torchlight 2... which I still play. So, thank you! =)

[asciident]

♥

[amadi]

I think you're pretty daggone fantastic. I too would like to meet you for beverages one day, and also to hear you sing or maybe even sing with you. I appreciate getting glimpses into your life, and join you in combating the evil brainweasels.

[krait]

I like you! You write cool posts full of stuff I don't understand (knitting, music) and cool poetry and fic, and you're one of the few fellow aces I've met on DW/fandom, too! And you're good at putting things into words, and I love sending/exchanging tea with you every December (tea lovers! Like asexuals, I don't meet enough of those in fandom) and talking about pixel dragons. :D Plus I resonate strongly with a whole lot of your brainweasel issues - your posts and discussion are one of the reasons I suspect I should discuss depression with a doctor at some point, because a lot of that (especially the "isolate, isolate!" urge) rings very true with my own reponses... Seeing other people fight that helps me remember to fight it, too. ♥

[shoaling_souls]

i like you.i know we don't talk much. but we think of you as our friend.

it can be hard to imagine past this moment when we're in pain, physical or emotional or some other kind. the pain can seem to stretch out, and it is hard to remember a time when there wasn't pain, even if there was such a time, you remember that it existed but it's hard to remember what it was like. and it can be hard to think about the future, both in a "in the future there may be joy too" sense and in a specific "tomorrow is impossibly far away, can't think in bigger chunks than just an hour, a few minutes".

i don't know how to get out of that kind of feeling when i'm in it. i think the only thing i know to do is to just wait and keep waiting. do nothing until everything aligns itself and doing something becomes possible again.

's different for everyone, though. i know my girlfriend prefers distractions instead. and you've got your own ways of getting through.

this has been a round about way of saying i know it sucks and there may be a time when it sucks less, but it's normal to not be able to imagine that right now.

[rainbow]

i like you. i think you are a lovely person and you bring light to me.

[rydra_wong]

Hey. I don't often comment here, I know. But I am listening, and I value your voice, and sometimes my not-commenting is because things resonate too much.