Today fucking sucked
Jan. 8th, 2016 09:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelThis is largely cribbed from posts elsesite, with a few additions and typo corrections but no editing, which is why the tense veers all over the place -- right now I am in bed and doing okay and definitely significantly calmer. But.
stuff what happened today:
I am literally fucking crying right now
My chair is still not charging (I don't think I posted here but a few days ago my chair was at about 4/10 battery when I got up even though it was plugged in, so I called the wheelchair repair place going “halp” and they let me borrow a loaner charger, except the problem isn't the charger, it's something in the chair -- I don't know whether it's the bit the charger plugs into, the batteries, or the thing that measures battery levels -- so for the last several days I've been at about a third of normal battery, which makes me paranoid to go anywhere)
and it decided to stop side to side tilting -- something that has been a random and unpredictable problem for weeks, but we can't get it fixed because we're trying to get me a new chair and insurance doesn't like paying for two chairs -- but it did so while I was in the middle of adjusting so it’s tilted way left so I keep listing over and can’t correct it and it’s uncomfortable even with a pillow under my hip (and the wedge pillow I have is too long to use so I can only use a regular pillow which doesn't really do much tbh) plus the chair is only going snail pace again
and our shower stopped draining but because reasons the bathroom isn’t well designed for drainage so when my roommate took a shower this morning water spread everyfuckingwhere and she used all the towels in the apartment to contain it which means that I had to do two emergency loads of laundry of sopping wet towels and I didn’t have quarters
and my afternoon aide is helping but she’s helping wrong and I want to scream at her but it’s not really her fault
and my mom keeps texting me and I don’t fucking goddamn care if this is the best sale price for cheese I don’t fucking care just shut up
and I have no quarters and I have no cope and I can’t deal with anything let alone everything
*breaks down sobbing*
Oh and the aide that is Helping Rong is also lecturing me on why we should be barring Loki from the toilet (because a backed up shower in combo with a perfectly behaving toilet is totally the fault of cat hair in the toilet wtf) and also complaining at me about how she’s always cleaning my roommates hair out of the drain and my roommate should be doing a better job and WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PUTTING THIS ON ME *panting heavily*
(Best part of that aspect: My roommate showers in the morning before she leaves for work. Hair is a pita to de-drain when wet, so she doesn’t do it then. The afternoon aide comes before my roommate gets back from work. So, yes, the drain is full of hair when the afternoon aide gets there. If she left it, my roommate would deal with it after she gets home. She doesn’t like leaving it, but then she complains about it.)
I just. My level of “can’t” is so fucking off the charts. And I am crying and I swear I am going to yell at people and I think I am going to explode.
I also wish I were 22-ish and healthy and not on any mess so I could get stupid blackout drunk right now. Even though that’s a bad idea even for normies and wouldn’t fix anything but fuuuuuuck
oh and ALSO the aide on duty for tonight is having one of her crisis days and needs someone to cover tonight and she says she already asked the other aide who does nights and she said she couldn't cover
and I won’t know if my roommate can do it (probably, but not definitely) until she gets home but if she can’t then I’m kinda fucked because my dad and stepmom are out of town and my mom can’t physically help and and and
fuck
(luckily my roommate was able to do it and I am now in bed and vaguely more comfortable)
stuff what happened today:
I am literally fucking crying right now
My chair is still not charging (I don't think I posted here but a few days ago my chair was at about 4/10 battery when I got up even though it was plugged in, so I called the wheelchair repair place going “halp” and they let me borrow a loaner charger, except the problem isn't the charger, it's something in the chair -- I don't know whether it's the bit the charger plugs into, the batteries, or the thing that measures battery levels -- so for the last several days I've been at about a third of normal battery, which makes me paranoid to go anywhere)
and it decided to stop side to side tilting -- something that has been a random and unpredictable problem for weeks, but we can't get it fixed because we're trying to get me a new chair and insurance doesn't like paying for two chairs -- but it did so while I was in the middle of adjusting so it’s tilted way left so I keep listing over and can’t correct it and it’s uncomfortable even with a pillow under my hip (and the wedge pillow I have is too long to use so I can only use a regular pillow which doesn't really do much tbh) plus the chair is only going snail pace again
and our shower stopped draining but because reasons the bathroom isn’t well designed for drainage so when my roommate took a shower this morning water spread everyfuckingwhere and she used all the towels in the apartment to contain it which means that I had to do two emergency loads of laundry of sopping wet towels and I didn’t have quarters
and my afternoon aide is helping but she’s helping wrong and I want to scream at her but it’s not really her fault
and my mom keeps texting me and I don’t fucking goddamn care if this is the best sale price for cheese I don’t fucking care just shut up
and I have no quarters and I have no cope and I can’t deal with anything let alone everything
*breaks down sobbing*
Oh and the aide that is Helping Rong is also lecturing me on why we should be barring Loki from the toilet (because a backed up shower in combo with a perfectly behaving toilet is totally the fault of cat hair in the toilet wtf) and also complaining at me about how she’s always cleaning my roommates hair out of the drain and my roommate should be doing a better job and WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PUTTING THIS ON ME *panting heavily*
(Best part of that aspect: My roommate showers in the morning before she leaves for work. Hair is a pita to de-drain when wet, so she doesn’t do it then. The afternoon aide comes before my roommate gets back from work. So, yes, the drain is full of hair when the afternoon aide gets there. If she left it, my roommate would deal with it after she gets home. She doesn’t like leaving it, but then she complains about it.)
I just. My level of “can’t” is so fucking off the charts. And I am crying and I swear I am going to yell at people and I think I am going to explode.
I also wish I were 22-ish and healthy and not on any mess so I could get stupid blackout drunk right now. Even though that’s a bad idea even for normies and wouldn’t fix anything but fuuuuuuck
oh and ALSO the aide on duty for tonight is having one of her crisis days and needs someone to cover tonight and she says she already asked the other aide who does nights and she said she couldn't cover
and I won’t know if my roommate can do it (probably, but not definitely) until she gets home but if she can’t then I’m kinda fucked because my dad and stepmom are out of town and my mom can’t physically help and and and
fuck
(luckily my roommate was able to do it and I am now in bed and vaguely more comfortable)
no subject
Date: 2016-01-09 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-10 03:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-10 03:57 am (UTC)and maybe a Post-It Note to hand to Rong Aide, so she can leave her suggestions for your roommate addressed to the right person.Glad to hear that the roommate was able to help, and you're feeling more comfortable now! **hugs** if you want them, and I hope tomorrow turns out exponentially better for you!