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Brains are ... weird
Feb. 8th, 2014 04:44 pmHere is a thing I have noticed about myself: People giving me stuff is occasionally (but not always) a cue to go gibber in terror in the corner and avoid social interactions. And I don't understand either what triggers the ... problem ... or what distinguishes safe stuff from non-safe.
( examples )
Writing it out, I think I am aware of two relevant patterns. There is the delay factor (I need/want to thank someone for something, I unintentionally procrastinate, and then I am caught in the evil vortex of "it's been to long and I have no excuse but I can't just ignore the delay and augh"), and there is the learned social factor (where social policies including rules I was brought up with say "you should politely say no" but my inner toddler is going "gimme" and I can't decide between them so I shut down), and both of these are powerful forces at work, but they don't really explain why some things send me into immediate panic and others don't.
*pokes morosely at brain, which wiggles like jello*
( examples )
Writing it out, I think I am aware of two relevant patterns. There is the delay factor (I need/want to thank someone for something, I unintentionally procrastinate, and then I am caught in the evil vortex of "it's been to long and I have no excuse but I can't just ignore the delay and augh"), and there is the learned social factor (where social policies including rules I was brought up with say "you should politely say no" but my inner toddler is going "gimme" and I can't decide between them so I shut down), and both of these are powerful forces at work, but they don't really explain why some things send me into immediate panic and others don't.
*pokes morosely at brain, which wiggles like jello*