A (not quite serious) note to the universe

[ysobel]

Dear universe,

My life has been kind of sucky lately. I mean, really, I'd think you'd get tired of messing with my body, but apparently not.

As compensation, I would please like the following:

* A pony. Preferably a unicorn pony. Maybe with sparkles.

* Porn. Lots of it. Also rum.

* A handful -- four, maybe, two of each gender -- of assistants that I can use for research purposes regarding sex. (When they are off duty they can, um, sleep, or give me backrubs, or make me yummy drinks.)

* A service dog. With one of those talking collars from Up.

* A telepathic mind-to-'paper' device for getting stories out of my head properly.

* A Kindle or other e-book-reader, so I can see whether it's easier to handle than books are. Oh, and plenty of free books.

* A functional teleporter, so that I can have frequent doses of jmtorres. (And also can go to synecdochic's and rb's stitch-and-bitch sessions. And also visit other awesome people. And also go to the coast where it is cool.)

* More penguins.

Thank you.

Sincerely, and a bit loopily,
-ysobel

(apparently, in addition to being a nice painkiller, vicodin makes me babble a lot. who knew?)

Comments

[dreamatdrew]

So far as it goes, for the e-book bit, I have found that random palm-os based device and weasel reader = good for reading when not feeling all that physically able (or when you like to read in bed on your side and have a tendency to sleep on your arm). (Palm in pawn shop around here is about 50$)
So far as the free e-book thing goes, I cheat & torrent, but then again I own most of the books I went looking for as they are faves that I re-re-re-re-re-read.