I hate allergies

[ysobel]

so for a long time peanut butter has been one of my "safe foods" that's a frequent meal option, but my flatmate is allergic (to both peanuts and nuts)... I don't ever ask her to do pb stuff, but I feel guilty even using it in the same apartment.

Recently I got sunflower butter to see if that works as a substitute, and I tried it in a sandwich today. It's ... edible but not the same at all, either flavor or texture. The only non-peanut non-nut thing I've /ever/ found that works texturally is cookie butter, which tastes amazing but doesn't have a good protein base. (I just checked ... the pb I like has 7g protein per 2tbsp, cookie butter is 2g.)

I don't know what to do. I want to be respectful and avoid allergens ... and I also want peanut butter.

(cry)

Comments

[azurelunatic]

Oh man.

I suppose cashew is still nut, huh.

[j_crew_guy]

Ugh. Sympathies. I tried sunflower butter in the past and yeah, it's not the same at all. I tried refrigerating it and that helped a little but not nearly enough.

I haven't tried it myself and it might be expensive, but have you tried soynut butter?

[ysobel]

I have not!

I don't mind expense as long as it works for my brain. PB is a "if nothing else sounds good, this does" as well as being a default base food, and I can eat it indefinitely, so I'd like to find something that has a similar texture and protein mix.

[rydra_wong]

I don't ever ask her to do pb stuff, but I feel guilty even using it in the same apartment.

What are the parameters of her allergy? There are some people for whom using it in the same apartment really would be a risk, and other people for whom it wouldn't be a problem at all as long as they don't come into direct contact with it.

If it's the latter, it's not "disrespectful" for you to have it, if you're not putting her at risk.

You could ask her what she's comfortable with.

I have a climbing partner who's allergic to almonds, and who's completely happy for me to eat things with almond butter around him, because that's not a problem for him.

[ephemera]

I was going to ask the same question - I lived with someone who was so allergic, she had to ask us not to have it in the house, and to avoid it right before meeting up with her elsewhere, but also (at a different time) with someone who was fine unless they actually ingested it, and was the person advocating for satay sauce for others to dip things in when we got the relevant kinds of takeout.

[ysobel]

She's been okay with me having peanut butter as long as she isn't using the kitchen (and I remind my aides to clean up knife etc), but I also asked her if she'd prefer I switch away from pb and she said yes. So i don't think it's endangering her health, but also she's not indifferent.

I did pick up some cookie butter, because it works much the same for me; I'm going to try sunflower plus cookie to see if the latter makes the former okay. But the sunflower itself won't work -- I had to force myself to finish the sandwich, which puts it in a Not Great tier.

Sometimes I can justify it in my head that my needs are enough to be worth the risk to her, but sometimes I just feel like a jerk.

(And it doesn't help that it's a late onset allergy for her so she used to eat it, and probably misses it.)