i hear the voices when I'm dreaming

so for a long time peanut butter has been one of my "safe foods" that's a frequent meal option, but my flatmate is allergic (to both peanuts and nuts)... I don't ever ask her to do pb stuff, but I feel guilty even using it in the same apartment.

Recently I got sunflower butter to see if that works as a substitute, and I tried it in a sandwich today. It's ... edible but not the same at all, either flavor or texture. The only non-peanut non-nut thing I've /ever/ found that works texturally is cookie butter, which tastes amazing but doesn't have a good protein base. (I just checked ... the pb I like has 7g protein per 2tbsp, cookie butter is 2g.)

I don't know what to do. I want to be respectful and avoid allergens ... and I also want peanut butter.

(cry)

I AM OFFICIALLY ROOMMATE-FREE

...I suspect I'm free of a few other things (like Tupperware that we disagree on whom it belongs to and, randomly enough, a bag of tooth care goodies from my dentist) but right now I don't ducking care

Awkward Roommate of No-Fucks-Given is GONE

I don't remember how much I ranted here about her, but some highlights:

* she liked smoking sage. I made the mistake of saying yes when she asked if it was okay, because I assumed it was a "cleanser on moving in" one time thing; but she kept doing it, and it just smelled like burn to me, and no amount of "please don't burn sage" changed her behavior
* she liked having all the doors and windows open. Even with air conditioning (or heat) running. Even with me in bed and her in her room with the door closed. Even after the night some guy being chased crashed through our back fence and came through the yard. Granted, the screen door was closed so the pets couldn't get out, except for the time it was off track and Monkey got out in the yard and Loki was "missing" for hours (luckily in closet rather than outside).
* she would not even say hi or bye to me, let alone "I'll be back at ____" or whatever
* half her duties involved being here at night in case of emergency, but when I had problems I couldn't reach her (and she never did even follow up the next day with "sorry I missed you last night are you ok")

That's not everything, just some of the stuff

It's been really *weird* and I'm not sorry to see her go. And she was doing weird passive aggressive shit today like using the labeled "dish sponge" for washing a bucket from outside.

Also, randomly, a day or so before I sent her the "This isn't working (you're fired)" email, she mumbled something about "I'm leaving next week" on her way out the door, and it wasn't clear whether she meant leaving for Christmas break or leaving entirely; I sent her the email and never got any response, so I was going to send her a text message to make sure she saw it; and my mom (who's been staying here since I got sick) woke me up at 8:30 saying roommate was packing to leave. Roommate claims she told me. I still maintain that it wasn't at all clear when, let alone for how long. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Not my ducking business any more.