i hear the voices when I'm dreaming

So I've been watching Haven -- started at the beginning (Netflix is my friend) and am about 2/3 of the way through Season Three.

Part of what I like about it is the whole "People [especially law enforcement] dealing with supernaturally weird shit" concept; see also X-Files, Buffy, Supernatural, Warehouse 13, Grimm, Sleepy Hollow, The Dead Zone, and so on. (and speaking of Buffy and Haven, when I'm caught up on Haven I sorta want to rewatch WTTH/TH because Jesse...)

Partly, though, I ... seem to have a gigantic crush on Nathan Wuornos. *sheepish look* And I don't entirely know why.

(because there is always a why to what pings your interest... right)

Some of that is physical; "tall thin leggy" seems to be a major type for me. Some of it is something about his face, and I have to say that he has a lot of similarities to Christopher Gorham (Auggie in Covert Affairs, among others), except more so, which makes no sense but whatever.

Some of it is the whole "stoic-faced marshmallow" character trope; I'm pretty sure the baby thing is what took me from "Hey he sort of looks like Auggie" to "!!! WANT".

Some of that is in how I read him: disabled (in ways that can sometimes be an advantage, sure, but it's not a happy-omg-yay superpower) and romantic demisexual

And some of that, possibly a lot of it, is a whole lot of resonance with the touch issue.

Because I sometimes feel ... I'm not sure how to put it. Isolated? Touch starved? I like physical contact, at least with the right people, but I can't initiate anything and very rarely get anything. The chair provides a barrier between me and the world; my literal inability to reach out or lean forward or get into a different position is basically the rest of the barrier. I can be hugged, awkwardly, but I can't hug back; I can't really hold hands; I can't snuggle, or cuddle, or lean against people, or anything like that. This isn't, I might add, about sexual contact; it's just about contact. I have a strong desire for touch that can't really ever be fulfilled.

...so throw a show at me with a character that a) is seriously attractive to me on a physical level, and b) also can't really fulfill desire for physical contact?

Yeah.

( More babble, including an explanation for those who haven't watched Haven; character spoilers through S3 )