i hear the voices when I'm dreaming

Today has been... very Monday.

* Wheelchair tech was supposed to be here sometime between 1 and 4 in the afternoon, to follow up with the ongoing tilt issues and also start the process for getting a new chair. He came at 9am instead.

* then my morning aide called in sick, and while I did eventually get up I've been worried all day that she might have gotten me sick when she was here last night

* also Loki pooped and peed on my bed last night, because of course

* all day I've been tired and grouchy and brainless, and I can't tell if it's circumstance (plus gloomy grey weather that makes me want to hibernate) or if I'm maybe getting sick ... it's not covid just a cold but still not great

* and I'm almost out of one of my meds (that of course I can only get 30 days worth at a time) and Rite Aide is being... gah. I'm trying not to use "stupid" but I can't think of words right now, but they aren't communicating and are taking forever and argh

* fml

but I had fuzzy socks on, and leftover chocolate cake for breakfast because fuck-it-why-not, so it wasn't *entirely* bad

So because I can't feed myself ice cream, and because I'm weird and awkward about asking other people for help, when I have a tub of ice cream it tends to sit around for a while before getting finished off.

Tonight I was still hungry after dinner so I decided to polish off the coffee ice cream that had been in there for a while. And, er.

It was liquid.

Not melted. Cold. It wasn't even in the freezer door where it might have been only semi frozen. It was in the middle of the freezer. Amidst frozen stuff. And it was cold the way just out of the freezer ice cream should be--

--and it was *liquid*. Runnier than milkshakes. The consistency of room temp ice cream.

I had a confuzzled, but ate it anyway. Because ice cream.

Now, a few hours later, I'm starting to get nervous about what if it had gone bad and that's why the texture was weird, what if I get sick from it, what if I wake up at 2am vomiting, what if what if what if. (The fact that it tasted fine doesn't necessarily mean much; once I drank an Odwalla beverage that was a few days out of date but refrigerated and normal tasting, and that evening was throwing up from it, because bacteria don't always taste bad.)

Googling didn't help. Googling rarely helps when the question involves getting sick.

Gah.

Headache from standing on Sunday? Annoying, but vaguely explicable in that I was standing a lot more than usual.

Identical headache from standing yesterday: Okay since I was standing for a while (not quite as long, and something I've done before with no problems, but wtfever) but still annoying.

Identical headache from standing today: what the fucking fuck, body. This was just a normal toileting. You do this /multiple times a day/ without problems wtfffff.

#

it's a blinding throbbing sort of headache that starts in the very very front of my head and spreads to temples and down the neck, always throbbing at pulse rate.

#

my paranoid brain is going "omg brain cancer! or bad blood clot! or both!!!!111".

Which is not particularly helpful...