i hear the voices when I'm dreaming

Tomorrow is awesome. I mean, going to be.

Point the first: Hamilton on Disney Plus.

Point the second: summer update for animal crossing. SWIMMING. WE GET SWIMMING.

Point the third: I might be able to set up a way to play AC in bed, which will let me get some of the night critters.

Point the fourth: my roommate found me strawberry cheesecake edible cookie dough. Omnomnom. (I'm torn between making cookies out of it and then just it straight.)

Point the fifth: I am no longer feeling quite so gutted every time I think about Ravelry. I still a, annoyed at how things went down, but I've kind of stopped giving a fuck.

Sixth: HAMILTON. OCEAN SWIMMING. DID I MENTION THESE.

So I turned super duper old 40 today.

Way back in The early parts of this year I decided I wanted a party dammit. Partly because decade, partly because 40 is the median age of death for people with FOP (and even though there are people in their 60s and 70s with FOP, there are also people I've known who were younger than me when they died, so even though it's median and not mean or mode or an expiration date, my brain gets a bit weird about it.

Given how bad the depression has gotten lately, I really needed it.

And -- in part because of how much I've been actually being open about the depression stuff -- there has been Much Awesome over the past few days. Two stuffed penguins, a super soft huggable stuffed frog, earrings (Latvian amber!), a couple of shirts (including a nightshirt with sheep on it that says "let's snuggle"), a pashmina scarf, flowers, balloons, more balloons, visits, hugs...

My old roommate came and she flew in yesterday, so came by both yesterday and today to hang out. Yahtzee was thrilled, Monkey was indifferent (but then when no one was looking, curled up in her bag), and Loki was ... very very confused, I think. Old roomie gave him snuggles and he just lay awkwardly with this "mom what is happening" expression. Poor kitten.

And the party! There was a little mini concert, some by the ukulele band (which I would totally be tempted to join if I could physically play) and some by the church chamber choir. It was awesome and made me happy. And then food! We got it catered (although apparently the catering restaurant neglected to mention that they weren't open on Sunday, so I found out afterwards that the person arranging the party had to pick the materials up the day before, raw, and she and her husband (who both have catering experience) cooked it up, which I am super impressed by) and very yummy and there was baklava for dessert, which I got to take the leftovers home. And there were maybe 50-ish people there, friends and singing friends and church friends and knitting friends and all kinds of people.

My dad was there too, which slightly surprised me because he usually avoids being around my mom in close proximity, but it was awesome, and nothing embarrassing happened. ..well, good embarrassing happened, when they started on the speeches about how much like me and why, but nothing parentally awkward.

...I do have a huge pile of cards to go through (this is a good thing, but physically exhausting) and I suspect I am going to crash hard tomorrow, because the last few nights have been bad sleeping-wise (last night I was up until 1:30 at least, and I don't know if it was the first or second one) and today was like 100% social with several hours of about 200% social on overdrive. And I'm winding down finally but have the hiccups (gah) so no clue how long that will last.)

My brainweasels are starting to kick in also -- e.g. trying to get me to feel guilty about Yahtzee not being there (I didn't bring him partly because of my sister being allergic, though she ended up getting sick -- as one often does when one has little kids -- and not coming, and partly so I wouldn't have to spend part of my attention keeping him from begging or stealing things that drop. (He's trained, but tri-tip is hard to resist.) But some people were expecting him to be there...) or about the catering thing (which is probably why I didn't find out until after, lol) But most of today they've been quiet, suppressed by the avalanche of love.

Anyway. Good birthday. A+ would party again. (...just not tonight...)

...now with pictures!

Box 2: Assorted lettuce, Bosc pears, Brussels sprouts, Flat leaf parsley, Nantes carrots, Rainbow chard, Red potatoes, Red radishes, Romanesco cauliflower, Ruby grapefruit, Watermelon radish

( pics )