i hear the voices when I'm dreaming

You know the shitshow that is Ravelry's new look? Which was causing eye strain and migraines and seizures? And the site updates since then have all used perky icons (that are in some cases impossible to determine the meaning of) rather than bullet points?

It just got worse.



I'm shaking too hard to transcribe, but summary -- form letter response from Cassidy saying NuRav isn't causing medical issues, people are just spreading malicious lies.

Or, as ktb38 says:

Ravelry is now sending out a form letter.
Saying there are no problems with the updated design.
Everyone who has problems is lying.
The disability community is lying, according to ravelry.
Share this. Tell everyone what ravelry is doing.
#ravelryaccessibility #ravelry


I'm pretty much in shock right now. Of all possible responses from C, this was not even imaginable.

I fully expect rage tears later, but right now I'm just ... numb.

Edit with transcript:

Ravelry's updated design does not cause seizures, migraines or other medical issues.

The Epilepsy Foundation did not "call out" Ravelry. Angry users stared [sic] a letter writing campaign and the foundation published their warning based on these letters without any verification or research, as appears to be their policy. A medical doctor who specializes in migraines and seizures has said that he does not believe that Ravelry is causing seizures or migraines. We have found zero evidence that there is anything about the new design that causes migraines or seizures.

I would like people to consider their sources before spreading false information.

Cassidy

I had a longish entry almost written up

and then Loki came onto my chest for snuggles so I got out of safari so he wouldn't muck things up

and then I went back in and it did the "I will helpfully reload the page for you!!!11" bs

which means I lost the entire fucking thing

fuuuuuuuuuck

(I wish DW had a draft autosave feature)

Edit: considered trying to rewrite it but am st the end of my stamina both for typing and for staying awake -- but by tomorrow I'll have forgotten. Gist in summary form:

1. Thunderstorms today, whee. It's weird to have thunderstorms here in any season other than winter, and the last few days have been abnormal -- cold (low 60s) and rainy instead of too-warm (80s-90s) and dry -- but I like the smell of rain and the look of rain and the sound of rain and the sound of thunder, and I prefer cool to warm, so this has been lovely

2. Still can't find the fic. Did, however, dig up stuff I'd forgotten I wrote, everything from flashfic to wips, from complicated plotty things to porn (mostly white collar, Star Trek AOS, and lots and lots of xmfc) to origfic to poetry

3. Is it weird that I want to self-publish a book of poetry? I don't think any publisher would want something like that from an unknown, plus I can't go on publicity tours or anything, plus I don't really have an established following, plus income is complicated when it comes to IHSS benefits, but I sort of want to do it anyway idek

4. I have gotten very melancholic since going to bed about how I can't write any more. Don't know how much is physical can't (the entry I lost was much longer and more eloquent, and that plus this is pushing the limits of a session) and how much is mental can't and how much is scared-to and how much is laziness and how much is just that I don't. And I miss it: miss the stories (especially in college and the few years afterwards) that just wrote themselves, miss the glee that comes with writing something that comes out awesome, miss the feedback of people liking what I wrote (never mind that in the past few years, positive feedback on stories sends me into an embarrassed flaily panic with a strong need to hide). Miss the needy flush of being in love with a new fandom (especially xmfc), writing all the things even if you're kind of writing the same basic story over and over but it's like an addiction. Miss the sense of community. Miss *being* someone. I might not have ever been a BMF but I felt like I belonged.

...that's all gone and I don't know how to get it back

I still have things I wish I could write -- the Secret Garden fic where Colin doesn't magically get all better; the Beauty and the Beast thing where I fix, er I mean remix, the live action movie; the non-Disney BatB variant with an ugly Beauty and autistic Beast; the Stargate AU where Jack got taken as a host for Apophis, which started as a single fic where the Daniel from that universe and the Daniel from ours get plonked into the wrong universes, but then expanded because my brain wanted to work out how stuff in the other universe happened; several very tenacious XMFC fics; there may be others as I unearth them. But I don't know that I can.

5. Yes, that was the short version.

6. Yes, I'm wallowing in freakish misery. I'll get over it, maybe. I just ... right now there's so much I've lost (cross stitch and heading and easy knitting and writing (especially by hand) and *not fucking being dependent for everything*), so much I worry about losing (finger mobility is decaying, jaw might lock up, parents are getting older, pets are impermanent and I'm pretty sure losing Yahtzee will destroy me), and so much stressing me out (need to find new roommate again, need to find/train new aides, need to consult with a dietitian nutritionist type person because I'm officially prediabetic and I'm torn between "changing diet will help with that" and "duck you I'll eat what I want, it's not like I'm likely to die of old age anyway" with a soupçon of "but i don't WANT to give up carbs" plus paranoia about being thirsty or about needing to pee) that misery seems to be a default that's hard to break out of.

So ... Netflix has a new-ish show, Afflucted, that I've been waffling in whether or not to watch. It advertised as a documentary following people with chronic illnesses. I wasn't sure, in advance, whether it was going to be sympathetic or dramatastic.

It's the latter. In a "oh it's all in their head" way. And it deliberately twisted the stories of *everyone* involved, who were misled about the purpose of the show (documentary ga reality tv) and were basically abused by the production staff.

https://medium.com/@afflicted/the-truth-behind-netflixs-afflicted-92e92d32cd7c is worth reading. If links to essays written by the participants, detailing the experience and also the facts that got left out about things like, oh, say, actual diagnoses and actual medical info and actual *everything*.

I am Not Impressed.

Fuck you with the pownr of a thousand burning suns

I had a 620-ish day duolingo streak going. The app had been behaving oddly (several skills not gold but "there's nothing to practice, try learning something new". But whatever, I worked on Past Tense 2, all is well.

Today, the app is not able to connect to duo. So I log into the site.

The site says I have no activity since Friday.

Dear duo: Fuck you forever.

... um. any Mormons probably should not read this.

( crankiness and ableism )